I fought those feelings when I reached college and had my feminist conversion. Want to guess how long that lasted? Wrong. Two weeks, maximum. Then I realized that denying my feelings was like abusing myself. So what did I do? I found partners I could trust with my feelings. I learned about consensual S/M and fulfilled nearly every fantasy I could. And enjoyed it, found it made me happier, more secure rather than less so.

And it got more intense as I got older. More pain. More danger. It's pretty extreme, now...and yeah, sure, I love it.

But. Yeah, there's a big question mark in that one, isn't there? If it keeps getting more intense...