Critique of "A Small Matter of Loyalty - Part 1" by Attica


Posted by Splay on June 23, 2004 at 13:50:25:

The Pit and the Pendulum redux, so far.

The writer is terse to grim effect. He(?) allows matter-of-fact description to set the dark mood rather than trying to conjure it with adjectives. He leaves much unsaid. This is all very much to his credit. I only wish he'd paid more attention to the sense.

What sex is the person whose mind we're in? A 12-foot cube has a ceiling 12 feet high. How does darkness make exercise impossible? The devil is in the details, they say, and I agree with them.

But the flaws are not enough to keep me from wanting to read the next part. Stay tuned.