Posted by Sawney Beane on August 26, 2006 at 03:18:11:
The Collected Works of Sawney Beane: Volume #58
WIENER HUT
by Sawney Beane
10, 21 February 1998
1,054 words
DISTRIBUTION NOTICE and DISCLAIMER: Sawney Beane requests that any distribution of this work of fiction remain within the realm of social responsibility. This story is suitable neither for minors nor for the seeming majority of adults who have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality. It is pure fantasy, which means that, for whatever reason, someone has found it interesting to think about the events depicted herein. It does not in any way mean that the author would like to see this fantasy become reality, so if you are the type of person who might be swayed into doing something irrational by reading a work of fiction, the author respectfully requests that you decline to read further.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sawney Beane, originally a native of Edinburgh, lived for twenty-five years in a cave on the coast of County Galloway, subsisting on the flesh of unfortunate travellers, roughly a thousand of them all told. He and his wife raised a large family of eight sons, six daughters, eighteen grandsons, and fourteen granddaughters. Eventually, the family was captured, and the whole lot was brutally and unjustifiably tortured and executed without trial. Since his death in the early 17th century, Beane has reformed his ways and now confines his atrocities to his literary endeavours.
WARNING: This story contains scenes of snuff and cannibalism concerning (mostly) unwilling male victims. If you find such things offensive, please steer clear; you have been warned.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a silly alternative history story, but it is about male bodies, which I don't enjoy writing about as much as I enjoy writing about female bodies.
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It was a certain giddy joyousness that Monica pushed open the door to the Wiener Hut. Like many other young professional middle class women, she considered it a special treat when she had saved up enough money to dine out at this special restaurant. Her mouth watered in anticipation.
Soon, she found herself seated at one of the many tables in the exclusive restaurant and a pretty young girl in a long red dress asking her for her order.
Monica replied without having glanced at the menu, "I'll have the special."
"Excellent choice, ma'am," replied the waitress, "would you like to specify your preferences or would you like to select your own?"
Monica decided to splurge. "I'll select my own."
"Very good, if you would just follow me."
Monica was led by the waitress to the kitchen, wherein a line of twelve nude men stood against the wall. Each waited patiently with his genitals enclosed within a hole in the long stainless steel wall. Monica inspected each one with the same sense of wonder she always experienced in the Wiener Hut's kitchen. It was amazing that none of the men showed any signs of pain as their penises roasted in the ovens. None seemed all that unhappy either. True, a few seemed slightly nervous, but the mood was not overly unpleasant.
It was, of course, natural for the men. Sacrificing their genitals was the only way they could hope to join polite society. It had been that way ever since the hunter-gatherer days of the human species when an anonymous brilliant woman had decided that killing the men for food was more efficient that eating the occasional antelope they could bring back. Now a man in society had only two purposes: breeding and feeding women.
Only the most attractive men were ever given the chance to breed. It took a lot to make a woman overcome the revulsion of being soiled by putting a man inside of her sacred womb. Putting one in her mouth, on the other hand, was a different matter entirely. A woman's digestive tract was not clean to begin with, so the man's flesh could do no harm. But breeding, while necessary and enjoyable was always considered the lesser of two evils.
Having a son was considered mildly disgraceful in some circles, and all such offspring were immediately transferred to the government centres in which the breeders were selected and the others were sent to places like the Wiener Hut.
The technology existed to allow a woman to produce only female offspring, but it was illegal for obscure religious reasons. Nonetheless, everyone knew that the real reason was that an all female population would deprive society of breeders. Only a few high-ranking women knew that it was also technologically possible to join two human eggs to produce viable embryos. This technique was almost never used, however, and knowledge of its existence was suppressed because society's leaders feared the loss of their excellent food supply.
Monica knew that every man in the line was having his penis cooked and that each was happy about it because he had been promised his freedom once he was freed of his burdensome maleness. It occurred to her, however, that she never saw such eunuchs on the streets.
She looked each one over, glancing at each one's feet in order to guess the size of her potential meal. As she watched, one of the men was taken from the over and led away with his erect penis a steaming piece of meat. Another man was led in from a door at the opposite end of the room, and his chemically-induced erection was inserted into the vacated oven position.
Finally, Monica selected her favourite and placed a possessive hand on his shoulder. Her selected man was a muscular blonde of about twenty years old. His name, Rob5716A, was tattooed on the left side of his chest. He smiled proudly as he realized that he had been selected.
"I'll be ready in about five minutes, ma'am," he said respectfully.
"Excellent," she said and left the room.
A short while later, Monica was waiting at her table when Rob5716A was led out to her with a slightly awkward walk. He stood next to her and held his long steaming genitals within her reach.
Monica forsook the usual condiments and pulled his naked penis towards her mouth. Rob5716A, meanwhile, obediently followed it closer and smiled proudly as the tip of his penis entered her mouth and was bitten off. The anaesthetics used at the Wiener Hut were excellent. Monica chewed with relish and admired the firm yet tender meat of her selected man's genitals. She eagerly took the next bite.
When Rob5716A's penis had become nothing more than a memory, Monica started on the second half of her meal. She assaulted the scrotum and the treasures within with the finesse of an experienced epicure. Topping off her meal, with the last of his testicles, she admired the spot of medium rare flesh flush with the previously-shaved pubis where her selected man's genitals once had been. It was a good meal, and she thanked him politely before paying the exorbitant fee and leaving the restaurant.
Rob5716A, meanwhile, exulted in the loss of his maleness. It was only after his genitals had been sacrificed that a man could be accepted into society at large. After he had been securely bandaged, he was sent out through the back door to seek his fortune without the natural handicaps with which he had been born.
Rob's heart was light as he pushed open the door to his new life. Whether it was this bliss or the pain that persisted in his groin when he walked, Rob failed to notice the blood on the floor on the other side of the door. The woman hiding behind it smiled and pulled the trigger just as the door slammed shut. Rob fell in a heap on the ground as the bullet entered his brain. He never knew what hit him; so humane was his execution. Within forty-eight hours, his body had been butchered and was on the shelves in the meat departments of over thirty different grocery stores around the metropolitan region. After all, what good was a man to society if he was unable to breed?