Posted by Sawney Beane on October 02, 2006 at 23:33:25:
The Collected Works of Sawney Beane: Volume #79
TEXAS STYLE
by Sawney Beane
28, 29 May 2001
3,470 words
DISTRIBUTION NOTICE and DISCLAIMER: Sawney Beane requests that any distribution of this work of fiction remain within the realm of social responsibility. This story is suitable neither for minors nor for the seeming majority of adults who have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality. It is pure fantasy, which means that, for whatever reason, someone has found it interesting to think about the events depicted herein. It does not in any way mean that the author would like to see this fantasy become reality, so if you are the type of person who might be swayed into doing something irrational by reading a work of fiction, the author respectfully requests that you decline to read further.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sawney Beane, originally a native of Edinburgh, lived for twenty-five years in a cave on the coast of County Galloway, subsisting on the flesh of unfortunate travellers, roughly a thousand of them all told. He and his wife raised a large family of eight sons, six daughters, eighteen grandsons, and fourteen granddaughters. Eventually, the family was captured, and the whole lot was brutally and unjustifiably tortured and executed without trial. Since his death in the early 17th century, Beane has reformed his ways and now confines his atrocities to his literary endeavours.
WARNING: This story contains scenes of non-consensual gynophagia concerning an unsuspecting meal. If you find such things offensive, please steer clear; you have been warned.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Now here's something completely unexpected. A first for me, this story was inspired by an article in USA Today (Friday January 5, 2001 page 4D, slipped under my hotel door by a kind soul seeking to inspire me), which described various unusual spa treatments available across the country. One spa in Dallas, Texas (who's surprised by that) piqued my interest. The "Texas Style Barbecue Experience" apparently allows one to get covered in "Pineapple Crunch Marinade", "honey-based barbecue sauce", and a "Tomato Citrus Honey Wrap". They say it's for skin protection, but I know there's got to be something more to it than that. There's even a picture of a young blonde in a cowboy hat getting basted. Part of this story is ripped off from the description of that actual spa, and the rest is unwarranted but interesting speculation on my part.
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Lindsey had never been to the big city before, but she wanted to experience it to its fullest. The adventurous twenty-two year old blonde had come to Dallas the week before to find out what life could offer beyond her rural upbringing. Her parents had warned her of the evils of the city, but she just had to see it for herself.
She had not been disappointed. Her first week in the city had been a whirlwind tour of the shopping centres and nightclubs, where she experienced all the excitement she had been lacking for so many years. In the process, she'd made a few friends, and she had gotten into a discussion with several women about a hot new place. It was an unusual new spa, and the description offered by Lindsey's acquaintances had been both a bit unnerving and oddly thrilling. Most of her friends had not been there, but a few of the older and wealthier of them had been and sang its praises. Then and there Lindsey realized that her quest to experience the big city would not be complete until she'd visited this spa.
The only problem was that Lindsey wasn't particularly well off financially. In fact, her first week had just about exhausted her meagre savings. She was on the verge of having to find a job, but on Tuesday afternoon she'd decided to stop by the spa to see how outrageous their prices really were.
It was about 2:00 when she arrived. The front office was modern and spotlessly clean like a stylish doctor's office. The several waiting chairs were all empty, and the magazines were all fresh and less than two months old. Behind a big desk sat an urban cowboy with a huge white hat and impressive boots. He smiled broadly at her as she entered and greeted her with a hearty "How d'ya do, darlin'?" Lindsey had found it amusing that here in the city the urban cowboys were even more fond of their hats and snakeskin boots than were the people of her agrarian hometown where such things were much more utilitarian. Still, she found it charming in a comical sort of way.
"Fine," she said a bit meekly. The prices on the big board behind the reception desk were completely out of her league, and she was beginning to doubt that she would ever see within the marble halls of that mysterious new edifice. "I'm just looking," she added by way of apology for her presence.
"I bet a young lady like yerself would like the works," the cowboy smiled. "We got one of the most amazing treatments you'll ever find anywhere."
She smiled with regret. "Yeah, I would, but I think it's a bit beyond me." She had decided honesty was her best way out of this embarrassing situation.
"You mean them prices?" he smiled conspiratorially as he looked her up and down. Lindsey was used to men's roving eyes; she found it flattering most of the time actually. She was proud of her slim young body and had often found that being good-looking could get you a long way, and this was no exception. "Them's just for the hotel guests," the man continued, "atween you and me, we got a first time discount that might innerest you."
Lindsey's face brightened. She knew the discount was a "hot chick" discount rather than a "first time" discount, but she wasn't going to argue. "How much?"
"For the works," the man said, "I'd say we could squeeze you in for about $29.99."
Good thing it hadn't been higher. It was still a stretch, but Lindsey decided to go for it and told the man. He smiled a broad friendly smile that made Lindsey a bit nervous. "You just take a seat there, darlin', and we'll get you right in."
For a popular new place, this spa had remarkably few people waiting, Lindsey thought. Maybe Tuesday afternoon was a slow time for them, or maybe they were just very efficient. She'd been in places like that where they get you out of the first waiting room really fast and then make you wait in the back for a long time.
She found that she was getting more and more excited by the minute. The spa's unusual treatments were intriguing to say the least, and she couldn't wait to experience the thing her new friends had been so enthusiastic about.
She waited less than five minutes before a woman in a robe opened the door and beckoned her to follow. She entered with her heart in her throat and a sense of excitement that permeated her body and made her tremble in anticipation.
After she had gone, the cowboy at the front desk picked up his phone, "Ron, we've got one that may be a good candidate for the full treatment. Ann just picked her up; get Jess ready just in case."
Behind the door, the matronly woman showed Lindsey to a small dressing room where she removed all of her clothing and wrapped a towel around her waist and another around her chest. He belongings were stowed in a small locker.
The woman then lead Lindsey through to the next room, which took Lindsey's breath away. Several massage tables lined one side of the room. The other side was occupied by an impressive artificial waterfall, which generated a mist that filled the entire room. Lindsey climbed onto the table and placed herself face-down. The matron undid Lindsey's towels and began brushing her back with sauce from a small silver pail.
"This is our special Pineapple Crunch Marinade," the matron informed Lindsey. "It is meant to invigorate and revitalize your skin."
Lindsey hardly heard her; she just closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of the gooey sauce creeping into the pores of her skin. The brush tickled her back, buttocks, and legs. She could smell the sweet smell of pineapple emanating from her body. When Lindsey's entire back was covered, the woman asked her to roll over so she could do the front.
Lindsey rolled on her back and felt the sticky sauce coating the white towels she was lying on. The matron brushed the sauce onto Lindsey's trim belly and over the pert medium-sized breasts Lindsey was so proud of. She wasn't embarrassed to be as exposed as she was; she had nothing to be embarrassed about. There wasn't any excess fat anywhere on her body, and her skin was completely flawless. Anyway, the sensation of the brush on her breasts was beginning to make her flush red across most of her chest and neck. She hadn't felt this way in a long time; it made her think about her boyfriend back in her hometown.
Soon Lindsey was completely covered in the pineapple marinade. She licked her wrist and tasted the delicious flavour of her coating. This was great in so many ways. The woman then led her to the waterfall where Lindsey could rinse off the sauce. She frolicked in the waterfall and thoroughly enjoyed herself until she was clean and feeling great. The matron massaged her body with towels soaked in lemon juice and Cabernet wine, which she was told would act as an astringent and anti-oxidant to protect her skin. The smell was enchanting, and she felt like she was in heaven when she donned her towels again to proceed to the next room.
The matron led her to the next room and handed her off to a youngish man in a small cowboy hat and a barbecue sauce smeared robe. She smiled as he led her to the single massage table in this private aseptic room.
Once the matron had returned to the waterfall room, she picked up a cell phone, "Ron, I just handed her off to Dick. She's an excellent candidate; not a drop of fat on her and flawless skin so soft you'll never believe it."
Lindsey was again face-down on the table with her towels unwrapped. She was a bit more self-conscious with a man here, but she wasn't overly concerned, and anyway he looked like he might be gay.
The gay cowboy seemed to talk more than the matron had. "So, I take it this is your first basting?" he said, handing her a white cowboy hat, which she put on and stuffed her long blonde hair under to keep it out of the barbecue sauce.
"Yeah," Lindsey said dreamily, "I've never seen anything like it."
"I know," smiled the gay cowboy, "We try to be different." "This barbecue sauce is great," he added, licking some off his finger. "It'll moisturize and protect your skin." He was already brushing it across Lindsey's back, and she felt the fantastic sensations all over again.
"Are you from Dallas," asked the gay cowboy as he brushed the sauce onto Lindsey's shoulders and arms.
"No, I'm not," she replied and named the small town she came from.
"Oh, is this your first time in the big city?"
"Yep, I'm having a great time, been here a week," his smooth manner made her a bit more talkative.
"I bet you never thought you'd be covered in barbecue sauce when you got here," he replied with a smile as the brush attacked Lindsey's bum and thighs.
"No, that's for sure."
"So who'd you come with?" said the man as he brushed sauce onto the backs of Lindsey's knees and calves.
"No one," she replied softly, "I came by myself because no one wanted me to leave the ranch, but I had to come and see what there was to see."
"Well, we'll try to be hospitable," he said as the sauce tickled the soles of Lindsey's feet. "Ready for the other side?"
Lindsey rolled over and scrunched the sauce between her and the towels. Her breasts and genitals were now exposed, but she felt somehow like she trusted the gay cowboy. He didn't disappoint her, and she felt her world explode as barbecue sauce found its way into every nook and cranny of her skin. She closed her eyes dreamily as the gay cowboy finished his work.
When he was done, he told Lindsey that the sauce should stay on her for about fifteen minutes, and he would come back to get her then. Then he left the room, and Lindsey dozed pleasantly with the taste of honey barbecue sauce on her lips and the luscious smell permeating the room.
Outside the room, the gay cowboy was on his cell phone, "Yeah, Ron, she's great and she's alone too. Get Jess going; we'll be there in about fifteen minutes."
When the gay cowboy returned, Lindsey was completely relaxed and reacted dreamily to his re-entry.
"Now it's time to make a decision," the cowboy informed Lindsey with a friendly smile. "We can send you back to the waterfall to clean up, and you'll be done. Otherwise, there is one more extra special part of the barbecue experience you might want to try."
Lindsey was interested. "What's that?"
"Well, we don't offer this to everyone who comes in here, but we have fixed up a great way to get a perfect all-over tan. I'd like to invite you to try it out."
Lindsey looked at her arms, but couldn't see her slightly pale skin through the sauce. Regardless, she remembered that she hadn't gotten the tan she desired yet this year. "Do you take off the sauce first?"
"No, that's the great thing about it. We found that the barbecue sauce acts as a fantastic tanning lotion."
"Sounds good," Lindsey said, "How does it work?"
The cowboy smiled his most endearing smile. "You'll never find anything like it. We strap you to a fake spit and rotate you over a bank of sun lamps. It's quite an experience. I did it myself last week."
Lindsey looked at the cowboys bronze skin and believed that it worked well. Still, the thought of being faux roasted make Lindsey feel a bit funny in the pit of her stomach. Still, she found the odd feeling not entirely unpleasant. "I don't know," she began uncertainly. "That sounds a bit much."
"Oh, it's OK," laughed the cowboy, "It's all in good fun."
"Well...."
"Tell you what," began the cowboy, "come with me into the next room, and I'll show you how it works. If you want to try it, great; otherwise, we'll rinse you off and finish you up with our patented Lime Margarita Body Lotion and send you on your way."
Lindsey thought this was a good idea. She wanted to see the setup in any case, even if she was a bit unsure about trying it out.
The gay cowboy led her through the back door to the room and into a bigger room. This one was less nicely decorated with a tiled floor and plain walls. An artificial waterfall similar to the one she's been under at the beginning of her journey occupied the corner of the room to her right. The wall directly in front of her was occupied by a fake barbecue pit with a real spit rotating slowly by a belt-driven motorized mechanism. A few feet below the spit was a bank of heat lamps, some of which flickered on and off at random, giving a convincing illusion of flames.
Lindsey gasped as she saw a nude woman strapped to the spit with her arms stretched far above her head. Padded metal straps around her wrists, chest, waist, knees, and ankles held her snugly in place. The woman was a long-haired brunette a bit older than Lindsey, probably in her late twenties. This girl was already covered in barbecue sauce, and a large man with a handsome smile was basting her continually with ever more sauce as she rotated over the heat lamps. The woman was making suggestive sounds that seemed to indicate that she was enjoying the experience immensely.
"Jess there will be done in five minutes or so, so we could get you right on if you want," said the forgotten cowboy softly at Lindsey's side.
Lindsey watched enthralled as Jess finished up her treatment and the large man lifted her off the Y-shaped supports and laid her on her back on a massage table in the middle of the room. He undid the metal bands, and Jess stood up and stretched her long lithe body alluringly before sauntering over to the waterfall rinse the sauce from her body.
She emerged a few minutes later wringing her wet hair out in her hands. Jess did indeed have probably the best tan Lindsey had ever seen. Jess wrapped a white towel around her ample breasts and apparently noticed Lindsey for the first time. "You going to try that, hon?"
"I don't know, I...," Lindsey said falteringly.
"Oh, ya should," replied Jess rolling her eyes, "It's quite a rush!"
"Yes," said Lindsey lamely.
Jess gave up on talking to Lindsey and walked towards the back door of the room. She threw a smile at the large man and said, "Thanks, Ron, I'll be back next week like always."
The gay cowboy made a vague motion toward the now-vacant roasting pit. "Well, what d'ya think?"
Lindsey suddenly remembered her objective in the big city and decided that spit-tanning fell under the category of living life to the fullest. "OK, I'll try it out."
The cowboy gave a strange smile and led her over to the massage table. Lindsey crawled up on the table and allowed Ron to place the sticky spit along her back. The sickly sweet feeling in her gut returned as the man strapped the first band around her narrow waist and the second around her chest just above her breasts. Next he strapped her legs on at the knees and ankles and asked her to extend her arms upward. She did so and her wrists were securely attached to the spit.
Lindsey suddenly felt very vulnerable. Here she was nude and dripping with barbecue sauce and fastened securely to a metal pole. She was entirely at the mercy of Ron and the gay cowboy. Why on earth did she trust these strange people? They seemed harmless enough, but what if they weren't?
Ron and the cowboy each grabbed an end of the spit, and Lindsey felt herself hurtling through the air. She had never experienced this airy feeling. She just hoped they wouldn't drop her since she was helpless to break her fall.
As they dropped her spit onto the supports and clicked the drive motor into position, Lindsey felt what Jess must have been talking about. She began to rotate slowly above the heat lamps and could almost feel the perfect tan she was getting.
Ron and the cowboy walked a few feet off and began talking in low voices that Lindsey couldn't understand. They seemed happy, since they frequently gave short friendly laughs. After a few minutes, the cowboy returned and basted Lindsey with more barbecue sauce. She began to feel as if she were in heaven, although it was a strange sort of heaven.
Then a strange thing happened. Jess came back into the room. Perhaps she had forgotten something, but she seemed angry. She was now fully dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and started complaining to Ron loud enough for Lindsey to hear. "Dammit, Ron, why d'you always make me do that? Yer a big guy, why don't you just tote her up and stick her on. Why d'we have to play this little game every time?"
"It's better that way; if they go on the spit easy, we don't risk damaging 'em."
"But, I've still got barbecue sauce in my ears!"
"It's OK, 'cause you look so good on that spit there, darlin'; I just have to get you on any chance I get." Ron planted a kiss on her cheek, which she deflected peevishly.
"Do I look as good as that tart you got on there now?"
Ron smiled broadly, "Good enough to eat."
"Don't get any ideas."
Ron hung his head in mock contrition. "Yes, dear."
Lindsey found this conversation very distressing. An inkling of the truth began to dawn on her. She was mortifyingly embarrassed by her gullibility as well as terrified for her life. The gay cowboy slopping barbecue sauce across her rump no longer seemed so friendly. She began to whimper, but no one paid any attention to her.
Then the matron and the urban cowboy from the front desk arrived on the scene. The urban cowboy seemed upset. "Ron, Jess, what're you guys screwing around for? We've got to get this piglet on to roast."
Lindsey's troubles intensified as Ron and the gay cowboy turned off the heat lamps and lifted out the rack on which they were mounted. Thus was revealed below Lindsey's rotating body a long brick-lined pit, which Ann and Jess lost no time in filling with hickory kindling. The urban cowboy, whose name was Blake, lit the fire, which threw Lindsey into a panic. The fire was small, but its significance was enormous. They were really going to roast her like a pig! She began to scream.
"Honey, I like you, so I'll give it to you straight," began Blake. "This room is sound proof, so yer screamin' ain't gonna do you no good. Anyway, if you annoy me enough I got a gag that'll shut you up, but I'd rather not use it."
Lindsey stopped screaming long enough to plead for her life. "Please don't cook me; I'll do anything you say."
"I'm sorry, darlin', but I can't think of any better place for you than right where you are. You look delicious. Too bad I won't get to eat you myself. Well, you know the cook can always sneak a few bites." His smile was oddly conspiratorial, as if they were best friends.
"But I don't want to die!"
"None of us does, but we all do," replied Blake philosophically. "Yer just getting' there sooner than you expected. A shame, but necessary."
Lindsey continued to cry for mercy, but her pleas became less intelligible as the fire grew larger. Her tormentors had to step back a few feet to avoid being singed. Lindsey felt the heat all around her. Not yet painful, but ominous and unpleasant. Soon, occasional flames began to lick at her knees and bum, while her nipples felt scorched. This was getting serious. Her world was terror; all else ceased to exist.
"Do we have a buyer," Jess asked Blake.
"Yeah, I called the usual customers; about twenty of 'em are coming down here to bid on her. Should be here in an hour. With any luck, she'll still be alive."
Lindsey's screams enveloped the room, as did the faint smell of roasting pork.