Posted by Sawney Beane on May 15, 2006 at 23:07:27:
The Collected Works of Sawney Beane: Volume #22
TASTY KATE'S
by Sawney Beane
12 July 1991 - 20 March 1995
21,660 words
DISTRIBUTION NOTICE and DISCLAIMER: Sawney Beane requests that any distribution of this work of fiction remain within the realm of social responsibility. This story is suitable neither for minors nor for the seeming majority of adults who have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality. It is pure fantasy, which means that, for whatever reason, someone has found it interesting to think about the events depicted herein. It does not in any way mean that the author would like to see this fantasy become reality, so if you are the type of person who might be swayed into doing something irrational by reading a work of fiction, the author respectfully requests that you decline to read further.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sawney Beane, originally a native of Edinburgh, lived for twenty-five years in a cave on the coast of County Galloway, subsisting on the flesh of unfortunate travellers, roughly a thousand of them all told. He and his wife raised a large family of eight sons, six daughters, eighteen grandsons, and fourteen granddaughters. Eventually, the family was captured, and the whole lot was brutally and unjustifiably tortured and executed without trial. Since his death in the early 17th century, Beane has reformed his ways and now confines his atrocities to his literary endeavours.
WARNING: This story contains scenes of snuff and cannibalism concerning consenting male and female meals. If you find such things offensive, please steer clear; you have been warned.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Now we come to a story that I for a long time considered my best, although recently I have come to prefer some of my shorter more subtle stories. Tasty Kate's is a restaurant of the future in which men and women willingly and legally give their lives for the sake of haute cuisine. It is actually a very old story, but because I enumerate my stories according to dates of completion, it comes 22nd in my collected works when it was actually started a scant seven days after the completion of my first story. The four years over which the story was written, conceived, developed, and evolved definitely show in the differences between chapters. Taken chapter by chapter:
I. This was the first part of the story written and it shows. The bedroom scene is a bit laborious, and detracts somewhat from the overall story. I thought about deleting it, but it didn't seem quite the right thing to do. It's OK but could easily be removed.
II. This and chapter III are really the core of the story. It took a long time to write, but chapter II, which details the processes involved in enrolling as a Tasty Kate's comestible employee, is important background material for the story.
III. This chapter is probably the most important story in the group. It is my old reluctant diner/eager dinner story again, but this time it is a banquet within the Tasty Kate's milieu.
IV. The first three chapters were pretty much completely conceived in 1991, but this chapter was a later addition. It adds the experience of a Grade B candidate to the work.
V. The final chapter was not conceived until the previous chapters had been completed, but I think it is interesting. The Grade C processing is covered, but the second half is something of an offbeat romantic comedy believe it or not. Not essential to the whole, but a good addition.
The appendices were added for fun and to share the rest of the imagined world in which Tasty Kate's thrives. I can't for one minute claim that Tasty Kate's is realistic, since I strongly doubt that there would be enough willing candidates to supply the meat for such an extensive establishment, but that shouldn't detract too much from the story. The whole thing is fantasy anyway.
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(July 1991)
I
Steve looked up admiringly at the vision before him. He was kneeling naked on the floor of the room, his well-muscled body tingling in anticipation. She stood at the foot of a massive bed, which was the only piece of furniture in the room. The girl looked fondly down at her eager consort.
The light was dim and emanated from a lamp directly behind the girl. Her image was ethereally radiant, and her backlit form could be seen clearly through the long folds of the thin white dress.
"Hello, I'm Melody McKay." Her voice was smooth and enticing. Her name was entirely appropriate.
"I'm Steve Lawson." He thought that his voice sounded unreasonably coarse. It was the contrast.
"I know," she laughed, "Nice to meet you."
"Are you ready?"
"Yes." She sounded interested but not nearly as excited as Steve would have liked. Melody had experienced this many times before.
Steve rose to his feet and kissed the girl firmly on the lips. She responded favourably. The stream of kisses that followed became increasingly passionate. Steve's lips began to move across the girl's willing face and neck. He returned to her mouth and presented her with a passionate tongue kiss. Steve shivered as he felt the girl's soft tongue search his mouth and brush across his teeth.
He broke away slightly and found the zipper at the back of her neck. It slid easily down her back to reveal a luscious expanse of lightly tanned skin. Steve began to massage the girl's smooth back. His fingers moved up and down her spine. She groaned with pleasure. Her prominent shoulder blades invited him to bite them. He succumbed to the urge.
She slipped her arms out of the unzipped dress and let the garment fall from her chest and dangle at her thin waist. She was a small girl and very shapely. Steve was enchanted. He was of average height but athletic. Both of them were attractive, and both of them were attracted.
After Steve had enjoyed rubbing and kissing the girl's arms and shoulders for several minutes, she reached around her back and unfastened her lacy black bra. Steve helped her remove the article and attended to her well-formed breasts. He gently kissed and rubbed them, as Melody became increasingly aroused. Steve wanted to swallow her whole. She certainly looked good enough to eat. Steve laughed ironically and told himself that he had come to the right place for attractive edible women.
Eventually, he pushed the girl's dress down to her thin ankles. She stepped lightly out of it and kicked it away. She was now wearing only a pair of tiny black lace panties. Steve knelt before her once again and kissed her lovely legs. His lips moved sensuously up and down the perfectly smooth skin of the girl's fair limbs. He could tell she liked it. He knew that he certainly did.
Melody looked down at him with closed eyes. He raised himself on his knees and kissed her navel. He inserted his tongue between her body and the elastic of her underwear. Then he grasped the panties in his powerful teeth and pulled the girl's last article of clothing down to her ankles. She kicked them off, and they flew across the room and came to rest on the doorknob. He looked her up and down carefully but could not find the slightest physical flaw. He wanted to bite more than her panties.
He stood and embraced the willing beauty and rubbed his body against hers. He placed one arm around her back and the other under her knees and lifted her into his arms. She was very light. He placed her gently on the bed and climbed in next to her. He asked if she was enjoying herself. She was.
He spread her perfect legs and began to gently bite her inner left thigh. She squealed with pleasure. He kissed, licked, and nibbled his way down the succulent limb to her marvellous left knee and enclosed her kneecap in his mouth. He continued down her shin, feeling the bone just beneath her skin between his teeth. He paid special attention to her left ankle and licked its circumference several times. She giggled. It tickled.
He then set about orally massaging her dainty left foot. He performed the task thoroughly and sucked each of her toes carefully. His tongue darted across the sole of her foot several times before he sucked on her heel.
Melody rolled over on cue, and Steve gently bit his way up her calf to the back of her left knee. He licked the soft skin behind her knee for a few minutes. This was another ticklish spot. The back of her thigh proved to be exceptionally tasty.
Steve paused to symbolically devour most of her left buttock before licking the left side of her lower back. He felt the lateral lines of her ribs on his lips as he proceeded to her left shoulder blade. When he arrived, both participants derived great pleasure from his gentle chewing on and around the bone. He proceeded finally to the girl's fine shoulder.
Her shoulder was soft and fleshy between his teeth. He could feel the bone behind the softness. She was very tasty. The kind of girl one would expect to find at Tasty Kate's.
The smooth outer surface of Melody's left upper arm was Steve's next target. When he was finished with that portion, he licked his way to her forearm. He chewed on the small bones of her wrist and kissed her hand. He sucked on each of her fingers and felt the long deadly nails scrape the roof of his mouth.
He continued back up her arm to the inner fold of her elbow. This location provided several moments of biting fun. Then he moved back up the inner surface of her upper arm. Steve licked the girl's smooth armpit and tasted its salty accumulation of perspiration.
He turned the girl over again and proceeded down her left side to her waist. Her ribs felt good between his teeth. Steve chewed on the tip of the girl's pelvis at her waist. Then he proceeded slowly up the left side of her abdomen to her left breast.
His tongue traced circles around her nipple. Melody gasped as he sucked the nipple deep into his mouth. She was the best tasting woman he had ever set his tongue on.
Steve reluctantly left the girl's breast to chew on her left collarbone. Then her soft neck passed between his happy teeth. Her left jaw felt good in his mouth. Her lips assisted him in producing a bout of kissing that could not easily be surpassed. Then he kissed her left cheek, her left eyelid, and the left side of her forehead. He tasted her black hair and liked it. Large brown eyes opened as he passed down the bridge of her nose to her mouth once again. The eyes said that he was doing a great job. The lips managed to kiss passionately enough to surpass the last bout.
Her chin graced his lips erotically before he ran his tongue gently down the smooth skin of her throat. With one magnificent lick, he moved from the girl's neck down the centre of her chest to her navel. She was impressed. She was also impressed by the way in which he accosted her belly button.
Steve made a small expedition down to the edge of Melody's pubic hair for a brief taste before licking his way back to her chin. Her enthusiastic lips rewarded him for his efforts. He reviewed her nose and forehead lovingly. Then he licked her right eyelid, her right cheek, and her right jaw.
Chewing down the luscious right side of Melody's neck, Steve rolled the girl onto her stomach. He reached the back of her neck and, with one giant lick, found himself below her waist.
The small of her back was favoured with a thorough chewing. Then Steve bit and licked his way up the girl's writhing spine. He bit down hard on the back of her neck. Melody shivered with pleasure.
Steve rolled her over again and attacked her right collarbone. Melody's right side tasted as good as her left as Steve consumed it as he had her left side but in reverse order. Her right breast was quite succulent and warranted a great deal of attention.
His mouth performed its functions on Melody's right abdomen, right pelvis, right side, and right ribs. Her right armpit was saltier than the left. It had had a greater opportunity to accumulate perspiration. Her inner right arm, right inner elbow, right forearm, right fingers, right hand, right outer arm, and right shoulder all felt marvellous between the teeth of the girl's new lover. He wanted to keep her for all time, but he knew that this was impossible.
The right side of her back and right buttock were next to fall to the unstoppable oral assault. Steve laughed as he reached the last leg of his erotic journey. The back of her right thigh was a truly classic piece of flesh. The back of her right knee held his attention for a while. Melody's finely shaped right calf was enough to make any man cry with delight. Her right ankle, heel, sole, toes, foot, shin, and knee were all memorable.
Melody's right inner thigh moved pleasurably between the clashing teeth of her lover. He took his time in running its length. Finally, the most erotic part of the girl's anatomy had been reached. Both participants trembled in anticipation.
Steve began by licking large circle around the general area of his next conquest. He stopped just above the centre of her pubic hair. Then he delved into the wavy black sea. After crossing the small hirsute ocean, Steve saw his next objective. He was more aroused than Columbus had been upon reaching the New World.
Four brown eyes closed happily as Steve's overworked tongue slid into the warm moistness between Melody's legs. He began slowly moving his tongue along the edges and outer rim of the divine orifice, and then attacked in earnest. He could feel the pleasant muscular rings of her vagina. She could feel the pleasant motion of his tongue. Steve delved as deep as he could with the equipment he was using. This was a considerable distance. After a long genital tongue kiss, Steve removed himself and lay panting beside the object of his attentions.
Melody took her time in recovering from the pleasant invasion before rolling over onto Steve's exhilarated body. The tables were now turned. Melody performed the ritual in much the same way Steve had but beginning on the right rather than the left. He enjoyed the comprehensive mock consumption as much as she had appeared to. The lovely girl's saliva all over his body cooled him like perspiration while erotically heating him up at the same time. The latter was more powerful.
When Melody had finished reciprocating the ritual, she removed his engorged genitals from her mouth and climbed onto her consort. She straddled his prone body and massaged his appreciative genitals with soft fingers. His eyes were closed firmly. Soon, his tongue was not the only part of his body to have felt the warmth to be found in a burrow between the girl's legs.
Melody performed symphonically on the body of her lover and did a great deal for their mutual enjoyment before wearing herself out. When she had finished, both had tasted a bit of Heaven and a lot of each other.
After a long cool down and recovery period, the two lovers left their love nest and entered the bathroom through a door to the right of the bed. They showered together and washed each other thoroughly and carefully. They had to be very clean for the upcoming meal.
Melody and Steve walked happily through the bedroom to the door to the left of the bed and entered the immense dining room. Four naked men stood stoically in the four corners of the room. Nineteen women stood chattering around the heavy wooden table. The women were all around fifty years old and were in the process of babbling excitedly to one another. None of the lot was particularly attractive. Several were downright repulsive.
Steve shivered slightly as he remembered what this was all about. After a sexual experience like the one he had just encountered, one would surely have to pay the piper. The price was high. He walked with Melody to the head of the table. She whispered compliments and encouragement in his ear as she helped him climb onto the table. He placed himself comfortably along the length of the altar. The nineteen women eyed him hungrily.
Melody gently stroked Steve's hair as the four nude men approached from the corners of the room and locked his wrists and ankles into the clamps attached to the table's corners. One of them then announced that appetizers would now be served. Another produced a syringe and injected it into Steve's pubic region. A third produced a large knife. The women gasped in anticipation and stared at Steve's attentive genitals. Steve closed his eyes and did not feel the action of the knife. He had the feeling that everything was moving too quickly for him to keep up.
The fourth man produced a platter and placed it gently with its cargo of severed genitals on the table near Steve's head. Steve stared at the platter's contents in disbelief. He noticed the pool of blood collecting between his legs. He moaned. Melody stroked his hair soothingly.
The man with the knife and one of the others approached with twenty small plates. The head of Steve's severed penis and both of his testicles were removed and placed on a plate in front of Melody. The remainder of the organ was sliced into nineteen equally sized pieces and distributed to the women gathered eagerly about him.
Steve watched as Melody lovingly consumed her portion. She did her best to soothe his fear. His case of nervousness did not subside. The first nude man announced a short time later that the main course would be cooked shortly. The nineteen women and four men filed out of the room for the traditional good-bye between lovers. Steve had many questions.
"Why are you with this group of old women?"
She replied patiently but with the tones of someone who had been through this discussion many times before, "One of them is my mother. The others are her ladies' group. They call themselves the Praying Mantis Society because of their favourite meals." She paused to stroke Steve's chest and run her fingers through his bloody pubic hair. "They bring me along because no one would accept the meal without me."
"What?" he mumbled.
"Each menu item at Tasty Kate's is allowed one rejection of potential customers. You already know that. No reasonably high quality man would allow himself to be eaten by a group of old women when he could be eaten by a younger group." She climbed passionately onto the table next to Steve. "In order to entice their selected meal into accepting the offer, they bring me along to act as designated selectwoman. Most young men at Tasty Kate's, realizing that they will be eaten sooner or later in one way or another, tolerate the age and unattractiveness of the group when they can enjoy a selectwoman of great beauty."
"You are certainly a great beauty," he said with a kiss, "I am honoured to nourish your fine body." He had remembered the latter statement from the list of recommended compliments supplied to him early in his tenure as a comestible employee of Tasty Kate's. It sounded pathetically fake as it passed his lips.
"Thank you," she replied with an enthusiastic hug which bloodied her own pubic hair.
"How many men have you consumed?" Steve asked curiously.
"You're my fifteenth. I was selectwoman for all fifteen."
"I'm sure you would do just as well with stiffer competition."
"My father met my mother here at Tasty Kate's. She and her group ate him on the day I was conceived."
Steve shivered, "Maybe I can father your next generation of culinary sex artists."
"If we're lucky," she replied, "What shall we name it? Of course, it'll be Steve if it's a boy."
"How about Mantis for a girl's name?"
She laughed, "That's unusual but appropriate. As you wish."
They chatted for a while, and Steve had nearly forgotten his fate when the nineteen and four returned to watch the execution. One of the men handed Melody a large silver dagger. It was ornately decorated with various semiprecious stones. It was a truly fine piece of hardware. It looked good next to Melody. But then she could make anything look good, including death.
Melody placed the tip of the weapon in the centre of Steve's chest and held it erect with two fingers of her left hand. Steve stared as the sharp point pricked his skin under the force of its own weight. A small trickle of blood escaped from the small wound.
Steve looked placidly into the brown eyes of his executioner. She looked consolingly down at him. He did not struggle in his bonds. It was hopeless. After all, he had volunteered for this.
"Ready, love?" Melody asked gently.
"As ready as I'll ever be," he replied, bracing himself.
Melody grasped the weapon in both hands and, in so doing, put slightly more pressure on Steve's breast. Steve watched detachedly as the blood flow increased slightly. He looked at Melody, who looked back with an encouraging smile. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was his last. The small amount of pain that followed did not last long.
Melody removed the dagger from Steve's chest and looked down at his motionless body with a touch of sadness. It was a pity that all of her affairs had to end this way. She distractedly licked the blood off of the knife as her lover was carried to the oven. The meal turned out to be the most delicious she had ever eaten.
(1991- 10 March 1995)
II
Mantis Broady sighed heavily and listlessly dragged the heavy vacuum cleaner into the living room. Her life had completely lost its meaning. Her marriage was a disaster, and all of her ambitions had flowed away like rain in the gutter. The only potentially bright spot of her life were three children, none of whom appreciated her love.
After a short bout of vacuuming, Mantis rested in front of the television. The first thing she saw was a commercial for a local restaurant.
The split-screen showed two symmetric groups of well-dressed people entering an elegant restaurant, men on the left and women on the right. They all looked eager to eat the best food in town. An announcer enticed the viewers, "Have you been missing out on a great meal? Come to Tasty Kate's for the best meal of your life." Various shots of people being served steaming pieces of meat followed; the last one looked remarkably like a human foot. The camera returned to the split-screen and two large groups. Now they were huddled around two large tables. The men were staring down at a beautiful woman, and the women were gazing at a handsome man. Both the man and woman were naked, but their genitals and nipples were strategically concealed from the daytime television audience by means of lettuce leaves and sprigs of parsley. Both of them were wearing conspicuous smiles. The announcer resumed, "Tasty Kate's has everything you always wanted in a meal and more. We've got something for every price range and taste. Try domestic or imported meals. You'll never look at meat in the same light again."
Mantis sighed as the next commercial came on. It always followed the previous one. Various shots of mundane people flashed on the screen. Mantis thought that the woman with a vacuum cleaner seemed vaguely recognizable. "Do you sometimes wonder if you've seen all there is to see in life? You probably have. Is it not quite what you'd like it to be? Well, if you're tired of the day-to-day labours of life, you do have an alternative. Tasty Kate's can prepare you for a fulfilling career as a comestible food service worker." The mundane people were then shown flocking to the elegant restaurant and lining up in front of a door marked "COMESTIBLE EMPLOYEE RECRUITING". The announcer explained, "Come on down to Tasty Kate's. No appointment necessary. Talk to one of our friendly recruiters." Appropriate views of potential employees chatting with smiling men in suits followed. "We'll give you a frank evaluation and make you an offer if you meet our criteria. There's no immediate obligation." The mundane people had magically become beautiful people lying naked on tables with their genitals and nipples covered in lettuce and broad smiles on their faces. The announcer concluded, "We're looking for healthy men and women with a good attitude and a desire to be everything they could ever hope to be. At Tasty Kate's, we can make you feel delicious!"
Mantis sighed. She'd seen such commercials many times before. It did not help her mind that both of her parents had been comestible employees of Tasty Kate's. She had never known her father, but her earliest memories were of her mother's decision to enlist over her grandmother's objections. Mantis had been five at the time. She spent most of her childhood with her grandmother. The old woman seemed to have a strange relationship with Tasty Kate's. She had loved the place beyond all rationality until Melody had given up the ghost and enlisted. Incidentally, a letter from the restaurant, which Mantis had framed, pronounced that Melody McKay had spent only two days on the menu before her selection. This was a remarkable performance, and all comments regarding her quality had been positive.
The following morning, Mantis did what she had been thinking about doing for several years. She took the bus downtown to the elegant high-rise building occupied by the world-famous Tasty Kate's restaurant.
Mantis stepped into the lobby and discovered a large foyer dominated by a glass-encased display consisting of a human skeleton in front of a life-sized fading picture of a beautiful nude woman with long brown hair. The skeleton had a similar bounty of hair attached to its skull and a patch of pubic hair glued to its pelvis. A gold plaque at the base proclaimed the woman's glory, "Katherine 'Tasty Kate' Marquette: first comestible employee of Tasty Kate's, a culinary pioneer whose excellence has never been equalled in all the world." The dates accompanying the hyperbolic epitaph revealed that Tasty Kate had been in her present state for nearly a century. Mantis shivered.
The foyer also housed four stately doors, two on each side of Katherine Marquette's mausoleum. The door to Tasty Kate's left was marked by the words "MAIN DINING ROOM", while the door just to her right was marked "BANQUET ROOMS: by reservation only". The door farthest to the left was labelled "EMPLOYEES ONLY". The door farthest to the right was the one Mantis had come to see. It was marked with the words, "COMESTIBLE EMPLOYEE RECRUITING".
Mantis pushed the heavy door open with a trembling hand. Her stomach resembled an empty pit, and her legs barely supported her. Nonetheless, she proceeded. Behind the fateful door was a steep staircase to the third floor. A large arrow pointed upwards. Mantis followed the wordless direction.
At the top was an imposing security desk. Mantis approached it nervously. A burly security guard squinted at her tentatively. She could tell he was sizing her up. He seemed satisfied after a minute and allowed himself a faint smile. "Are you seeking employment with Tasty Kate's, ma'am?" he asked in a surprisingly pleasant voice.
Mantis could barely mutter a meek affirmative reply.
"I'm sure they'll like you, ma'am, you can relax. I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just that I have to look out for protesters." He pointed to two large signs on the wall behind him that said "No Soliciting" and "No Proselytising" in large red letters. "What is your name, ma'am?"
"Mantis Broady," she managed to say indistinctly.
"That is an unusual and beautiful name, my dear. I'll call ahead for you." The security guard indicated the door he was guarding, "Right through there, first door on the left."
Mantis crossed the threshold and entered a long, dimly lit hallway. The first door on the left was marked "Introductions and Initial Evaluations - Female". Mantis entered hesitantly.
The large waiting room that presented itself to Mantis' view was elegantly furnished in dark wood and plush carpet. Ten or twelve women were scattered about the room among the several dozen padded seats. Most of them were plain or downright unattractive, and one had arrived in a bikini for some reason known only to herself. All of them looked nervous and impatient. This was the only difference between the room's occupants and the candidates pictured in the TV commercials.
In front of the door to the inner office, Mantis saw a receptionist with overly primped hair and far too much makeup. Her green dress failed to cover her tanned shoulders and exposed her breasts almost to their very tips. The receptionist looked up as Mantis approached.
"Ah, Ms. Broady, I presume," she emitted in a soothing flow of sound, "welcome to Tasty Kate's! We're glad to have you here. A counsellor will see you shortly. If you would just fill out this information sheet..." She left her sentence unfinished and handed Mantis a clipboard.
Mantis took a seat and filled out the form. The top half was like the insurance forms at the doctor's office. She inscribed her name, address, phone number, social security number, gender, height, weight, race, birth date, marital status, and other personal information. A medical section inquired into her medications, inoculations, family history, communicable diseases, and surgical procedures. Then she wandered into unfamiliar territory. She circled "heterosexual" under sexual orientation, and "indifferent" under religion. Mantis filled her husband's name under next of kin, and inserted "18" under age at first sexual intercourse-had it really been nine years ago? She dutifully filled out the rest of the form which pried into her education, family, interests, hobbies, attitudes, and especially her sexual history. Mantis breathed a sigh of relief as she finished her task.
Meanwhile, women in the waiting room were called into the inner office one by one. Other women left the inner office and stepped into the hallway. Their expressions varied from deep depression to giddy excitement. Many still seemed nervous. The receptionist called "Broady?" just as Mantis finished filling out her form. She returned to the receptionist's desk and was instructed to take her form with her into the inner office and to enter the second door on the right.
Moments later, Mantis found herself pushing open a door marked "Harold Compton, Counsellor". The neatly dressed man within greeted her with a warm handshake and invited her to sit in a soft chair in front of his expansive mahogany desk. Mantis detected that Harold Compton was a handsome gentleman in his late forties with impeccable manners and incredible powers of persuasion.
"Welcome to Tasty Kate's," he said, "I understand you wish to join our team."
"Well, I'm thinking about it," replied Mantis softly.
Compton smiled broadly. "Well, I'm sure you'll like what you see. Let me tell you a little bit about our program. First of all, from your application I see that you have no communicable diseases or noticeable bodily blemishes. Of course, if you decide you are interested, we will have to verify these things with a thorough physical and medical examination. However, it appears that you would have no difficulty qualifying as a Grade A comestible candidate if your psychological evaluation turns out well enough."
"What's that?'
"Well, candidates are placed according to a grading system that depends primarily on physical attractiveness, attitude, and health. Candidates with communicable diseases are rejected entirely, but everyone else may be placed in one way or another.
"Grade A candidates, those with extremely high quality bodies and the proper self-discipline and willingness, are placed on our banquet menu and are available for selection by large groups.
"Grade B candidates, those who are disqualified from the A group by minor physical flaws or by inappropriate psychological constitution, are painlessly euthanized and delivered to one of our supermarket clients for refrigerated whole-body sale directed at home consumption.
"Grade C candidates are those who are not physically attractive enough for Grade B status but are not unattractive enough to be considered Grade D. Most of our applicants fall into this category. They are euthanized and dismantled into their constituent body parts. These parts are served in the main dining room of Tasty Kate's.
"Finally, those applicants that are judged to be least attractive are given Grade D status. After euthanasia, any body parts that are considered unfit for human consumption are discarded and sometimes sold to a pet food company. The rest of the body is converted into ground meat and sold either in supermarkets or to fast food chains."
Harold Compton was pleased to see that Mantis Broady showed only minimal distaste for this description. This was the first sign that her psychological makeup might be appropriate for a Grade A woman. She nodded to indicate her understanding.
"I would like to explain the terms and conditions of Grade A status. First of all, if you are accepted after the required tests and evaluations, you will be appraised by one of our experts. Approximately one half of your appraised value will be paid to your next of kin or to anyone you select. If you are accepted, you have thirty days to accept admission. If you do, you will check into our facility and be assigned to an apartment in the upper floors of this building. Your beneficiary will receive payment for you on the day you check in.
"One very important condition is that you will not be permitted to leave the building at any time nor will you be allowed to communicate with anyone outside at any time. However, you will find our living quarters quite pleasant, and nearly any conceivable need will be easily fulfilled.
"After a brief but intensive one-month orientation and training period, you will be placed on our official menu database. From that day on, you will be on call from 3 to 6 PM every day. Each banquet group is allowed to select five candidates from the menu to meet in person. If they pick you, you will be brought down to a banquet room and evaluated by the customers in any reasonable way they see fit. Good salesmanship is essential to success in this phase.
"The customers will select one of the five of you. If you are not selected, you will serve as a waitress for the meal. If you are selected, you will be allowed to choose one of the customers with which to have a final sexual intercourse. The sexual element of the meal is very important. After this sexual ritual, you will become a Tasty Kate's entree.
"There is a time limit, however. If you are not consumed within 5 years of going onto the menu, you will be downgraded to Grade B and sold to a supermarket. Do you have any questions?"
"No," replied Mantis, "not right now."
"OK, that's fine. Do you think you're still interested?"
"Yes, that sounds like a very good system," said Mantis lamely.
"Well, we've had quite some time to perfect it, my dear."
Mantis smiled; she was becoming more confident, and the idea of Tasty Kate's was becoming more and more inviting. The eager candidate and her counsellor discussed procedures for a half hour or so more.
Then Compton said, "Well, Mantis, my dear, would you like to proceed to the examination phase?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Good, good," said Compton, rising from his seat. "If you would be so kind as to undress for me, I will perform your initial physical examination." As Mantis moved to the open area to the left of the desk and began to unbutton her blouse, Compton spoke into his intercom, "Miss Snyder, would you please come in for an initial physical?" Mantis was down to her bra and panties when a slim blonde woman in a white nurse's uniform entered the room carrying a clipboard.
Compton directed Mantis to sit on a small metal table at the side of the room and proceeded to examine her body in minute detail. He periodically mentioned inscrutable technical terms to the nurse, who efficiently recorded the results of the examination. It was the sort of thing that most would find quite unpleasant, but Mantis was mollified by the counsellor's constant stream of soothing words. He was very good at his job.
When it was over, Compton announced his approval, "Excellent, excellent, you're practically flawless, Mantis. We'll almost certainly be honoured to have you on staff. Could we schedule medical and psychological evaluations for you?"
Mantis accepted this with a smile and made the necessary appointments before being sent home with a warm handshake and a few more compliments from the recruiter.
Mantis' husband hit the ceiling when he found out later that night. It didn't take him long to find out. Mantis came home too late to get dinner ready in time for him, and he was furious. She didn't conceal her day's errand or her terminal decision. So, they fought all night, which wasn't at all unusual, but this night was more intense than ever. In the end, there was nothing he could say or do to stop her. He told her she was throwing her life away, which she admitted but suggested that it was hers to throw away at will.
Mantis left the very next day for her medical appointments. She said a tearful good-bye to her children, since she had decided not to return home if Tasty Kate's offered her a position. She was a little bit reluctant to abandon her offspring, but they were intolerable brats and hopeless whether or not she stayed around.
As it turned out, she passed her psychological and medical examinations with flying colours, was given a Grade A offer and high appraisal, and checked in on the spot. Mantis Broady assigned her fee to a trust fund for her children to be maintained by Tasty Kate's, because she didn't want her husband to gain access to her proceeds. She rated her prospects as very bright.
(11 March 1995)
III
Mark Simmons stood upon the threshold for the first time in his twenty-nine years of life. The idea of Tasty Kate's had always been somewhat repulsive to him. However, as Technotron's newest executive, he was expected to attend the monthly organizational meetings held in the exclusive restaurant.
Simmons studied the skeleton of Katherine Marquette with considerable distaste. What a waste of beauty, he thought as he pushed open the door marked "BANQUET ROOMS: by reservation only". He thought it strange that his wife did not seem to mind his participation in the gruesome ritual as much as he did. Behind the door was a golden-railed spiral staircase to the second floor.
Mark spotted one of his co-workers, his immediate superior Mr. Lafferty, in the luxurious entry lounge at the top of the stairs. They exchanged greetings, and Lafferty informed Mark that he was the last to arrive. They walked together through the crowded lounge to the reservation desk and were led to the Technotron party's banquet room by an attractive brunette wearing only an odd bow tie, a tiny black bikini, and high-heeled shoes.
The area behind the reservation desk was an elegant dimly lit real wood-panelled corridor. Doors were located on both sides at fifty-foot intervals. Next to each door was a sign with little plastic movable letters. The sign next to the third door on the right read "WELCOME: Technotron Corporation".
The scantily clad hostess opened the door and motioned her charges in, saying, "Welcome to Tasty Kate's; enjoy your meal." She smiled graciously as Lafferty slipped a folded ten-dollar bill deep into the lower half of her bikini just below her navel. Simmons gave her an uncomfortable smile and mused about the strange mix of extreme classiness and trashiness to be found within Tasty Kate's.
The several dozen dark-suited executives within the large room paused in their general milling about to greet the new arrivals. The group consisted of seven women and thirty-five men. Mark Simmons was disoriented by the sudden increase in activity. The room itself contained a large wooden table in its centre and a video screen occupying most of the far wall. People were gathered in small groups involved in several different discussions. Simmons followed Lafferty closely to avoid standing alone by the door.
Within a few minutes, their waiter entered the room in an expensive tuxedo and took the newcomers' drink orders. He then stepped to the head of the table and held a short discussion with the stocky grey-haired Chairman of the Board, Dean Sheridan. The sixty-year-old leader nodded his head and clapped his hands for attention. Everyone scrambled to a place around the table. Simmons found himself in a seat next to Lafferty and one place away from the wall with the video-screen. That place on his right was occupied by a certain Deborah Gerhardt, an extremely able executive whom Simmons had always found stiff and unapproachable.
Sheridan waited until everyone was quiet and announced in his authoritative baritone, "Well, people, are we ready to order?" This was greeted enthusiastically by, among other things, catcalls and lewd comments entirely unbecoming of an executive in an official meeting.
The waiter took control of the program, "Will you be ordering from the male or from the female menu?"
The seven female Technotron executives shouted in favour of the male menu but were drowned out by the males' insistence on a female. Sheridan raised his hand for silence and made an executive decision, "We had a male for you ladies two months ago. We'll order from the female menu." He nodded his head graciously at the waiter.
"And did you have a particular race in mind," resumed the waiter.
Furious discussion ensued. Shouts of "Let's have Oriental!", "We had Chinese last month; let's get a spicy South American!", and "No, let's get a blonde!" erupted. Sheridan, a conservative man, instructed the waiter, "We'll go domestic Caucasian."
"Would you like to select a hair colour?" asked the waiter.
The votes were roughly evenly divided in favour of blondes and brunettes with a small but vocal minority requesting a redhead. Sheridan ordered a brunette. Several further characterizations were discussed. Sheridan stated "no preference" for several and specified his choices for others while the remaining executives shouted their desires.
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen," said the waiter while typing something into a hand-held computer, "Mr. Sheridan, sir, you may review the available candidates whenever you are ready."
The Chairman of the Board took the small remote control next to him and pressed a few buttons. The middle third of the video wall lit up with a short tape of an incredible nude brunette posing alluringly. Her name, Melissa MacDonald, and other vital data such as age and bust size were explained in a voice-over. The executives cheered wildly, and Sheridan pushed a few buttons that moved a full frontal nude still frame of Melissa to the upper left hand corner of the video wall and started a similar film of the next candidate in the large central screen.
All thirty-seven of the available candidates meeting the specified criteria were reviewed in sequence. According to the executives' responses, each candidate's photo was either erased from the screen or preserved in stills on either side of the main screen. A second round narrowed the field to ten. A democratic vote was held, and five finalists were chosen. The waiter typed the code numbers that would summon Melissa MacDonald, Leslie Harding, Mantis Broady, Laura Murphy, and Erin Young. The video screen slowly faded to black.
Mark Simmons was troubled by something very disturbing. He had gasped in shock the moment Leslie Harding's tall tanned nude body appeared on the screen. He knew her. They'd gone to high school together. Furthermore, Mark had had an incredible crush on her. He'd never had the guts to ask her out, however, since he had been quite shy and she quite perfect. She was far out of his league. Now she was his potential dinner. His distress was quite natural.
It took only fifteen minutes for the five ladies to arrive. They marched into the room single file with swinging hips and sexy smiles. Each wore a long blue silk evening gown. One by one, their names were announced by the waiter. Upon hearing her name, each girl dropped her gown to reveal her fully nude body and performed a little bit in order to display her physical charms.
All five ladies were gorgeous, in their twenties or early thirties, and physically flawless. Twenty-one year old Melissa MacDonald was the youngest of the group. Her long lovely legs and moderately sized breasts generated great enthusiasm. Leslie Harding was a truly shocking beauty with long hair, tanned skin, finely sculptured breasts, long muscular legs, and a supermodel face. She flashed a smile of recognition at Mark Simmons and seemed pleased by his presence. Mantis Broady had lighter skin and was two inches shorter than Harding. Her body caused a great deal of cheering. This was her first day on the menu and her first assignment. Her nervousness was noticeable. Laura Murphy was thin with smaller breasts than the others. Her wavy hair glided gently over soft round shoulders. Erin Young was the shortest of the group and had the largest breasts. She bounced herself about with experience.
Sheridan allowed the decision to be made democratically. A strong Erin faction developed, and smaller groups pulled for Mantis, Laura, and Melissa. Leslie, however, came out on top, despite Mark's support of Mantis and anyone other than Leslie. He was crushed.
The remaining four ladies concealed their disappointment as Leslie bounced with glee. The former took their places to serve as waitresses, while Leslie began the next phase. Now it was her turn to judge.
Leslie began at the head of the table and chatted for a moment with each of her patrons. She was gracious and jovial. She laughed with that little giggle that had driven Mark wild in earlier years and now drove him to despair as it drifted across the table. When she got to him, she kissed him lightly and said, "I'm glad to see an old friend on such an important day." He tried to smile and was actually surprised that she had remembered him. But she moved on none too soon for his nerves.
Leslie announced her choice of selectman by pointing in Mark's direction. He nearly pissed his pants. Why would she choose him? He wasn't the most attractive man at the table. She could do better. He protested and said he didn't know what to do, but the others reassured him and told him that she would direct him. He reluctantly allowed her to lead him across the room and through a small door on the left edge of the video screen. His entire body was numb. The other executives began another social hour and round of drinks.
"Why me?" Mark asked her inside the room.
"Why not?" she giggled. "You're silly to think I would choose a stranger over an old friend for my darling selectman!"
He couldn't dispute the logic in this, but he questioned her calling him an old friend, "we barely spoke five words to one another in high school."
"So?" she dismissed his concern, "You mean to say you didn't like me?" She said this with a sly smile.
"Oh, no, by no means!" he exclaimed, "I loved you! You can't imagine the crush I had on you."
She smiled slyly, "Me? Well, you should have said something."
"I was too shy; you know that."
"Of course, well, everything works out in the end; you'll get to fuck me before I go."
He winced at the directness of her statement. "I want to love you," he protested, "I don't just want to have sex with you!"
"That's a sweet sentiment," she sighed, "but it's a bit late now, don't you think?"
She directed him to the foot of the large bed and began to unbutton his shirt. He didn't stop her, but neither did he feel at ease.
"What would you have said if I'd said something to you in high school?" he asked, "Would you have gone out with me?"
She dropped his shirt to the floor and started to pull down his pants. He barely noticed. "Well," she said thoughtfully, "I think so. You were pretty cute."
"You mean you had a crush on me too?" he asked with considerable excitement.
"No, I wouldn't say that," she smiled, "That would be too much of a silly coincidence. This isn't a movie."
"Still, we might have gotten on well?"
She slid her warm hand into his underwear, and he gasped as she grabbed his penis. "Sure, I wouldn't doubt it," you're a nice guy, and nice guys are rare enough.
A thought darkened Mark Simmons' mind, and he frowned distractedly.
She read his mind and pulled off his socks. "Don't even start thinking such nonsense."
"What?" he said as innocently as possible.
He was naked now, and she pressed her body close to his. The pressure of her breasts against his chest was marvellous. Her soft pubic hair brushed against his thigh. "Just don't imagine that anything we could have done in high school would have prevented this."
"Prevented what?" he asked with false naiveté, "I would think we'd get to be naked together sooner if I'd said something."
"Don't be so sure, I'm not a slut," she said with an artificial haughty frown. "Besides, that's not what I'm talking about at all."
He kissed her smooth shoulder. "What are you talking about then?"
"About Tasty Kate's," she replied with her arms around his neck and her hands rubbing his shoulder blades. "I'd still have ended up here."
"Why? We could have been so happy."
"Maybe, but the thing about beauty is that it's not very long-lived."
"That's not the only reason I could find for loving you," he replied softly while running his fingers through her hair.
"Well, it doesn't matter. If you make too much of what you are, then that's all you can be. For me, I'm beautiful, but that's all I am. That's all I have. When I'm no longer beautiful, what will I be?" When she said she was beautiful, she was just stating obvious facts. There was no conceit involved.
"You're lots of things!" he said stepping away from her a bit. "You're beautiful, intelligent, talented, athletic, creative..."
"Maybe; I don't know how accurate that is, but I've not made anything of myself in any of those areas. My whole identity is bound up in my physical beauty. I wouldn't know what to say to myself in the mirror when it's gone."
He was on the other side of the room now. "So you'd rather die than grow old?"
"Yes," she said simply and walked to him and put her arms around his neck.
"I don't understand."
"I know, but all you have to understand is that I'm fully committed to this and have been for most of my life. Nothing you could have done would keep me alive beyond my time. We could have enjoyed ourselves together for a while, but that's all. I'm sure you have a fulfilling life now, and I want my reward. No regrets allowed."
"Reward?"
"Yes, my sleep, my rest, my reward. I want to be eternally as beautiful as I am at this moment."
"How can you be beautiful if we cook and eat you?" He traced circles absentmindedly on the side of her right breast.
"Easy; your self-image at the moment of death is what you are forever."
"You're a profound martyr, my dear."
"Thank you, now we have to get down to business." She tackled him and knocked him roughly onto the bed.
Their conversation was halted while her lips and tongue traced their way around the entire surface of his body beginning with the right inner thigh and ending after a long ritualised circuit at his genitals. She performed fellatio like a professional. His troubles faded temporarily as she sent him to heaven and beyond.
She rolled off of him abruptly and stated, "Your turn."
Mark eagerly performed his solemn duty and licked and sucked her body in the ritual order, the exact mirror image of her performance. He required considerable guidance to show him the proper way, but they both enjoyed every minute. The eventual intercourse was the most memorable experience of Mark's life. He wondered what he would tell his wife. Come to think of it, she'd been a good friend of Leslie Harding's once.
Mark didn't remember his tragic situation until they were in the shower together. He resolved not to mention it to her, since it was in any case too late for her to change her mind anyway. But his sulking tipped her off.
"Mark, you have to understand that I want everything that will be done to me today. It won't hurt, and I want you to enjoy your dinner. You'll be doing me a big favour if you cooperate."
"I know," he replied with difficulty, "but it's difficult."
She smiled, "Do this for me, and you'll be my only true love." She kissed his neck passionately.
"I still think your philosophy needs work," he said with a wistful smile.
Their return to the banquet room was an occasion for great celebration. Mark's comrades teased him with lewd comments and taunts that concealed their unbearable envy. Mark was now back in his business suit, but his consort wore only sandals. She moved with impossible grace and dignity. Mark helped her climb onto the massive table while Leslie wished her patrons an enjoyable meal. Mantis secured her roommate's ankles into the clamps at the lower corners of the table.
Leslie stared with a contented smile at the ceiling while Mark talked to her nervously and Laura Murphy injected her breasts with an anaesthetic. Erin brought in the serving plates, and Melissa wielded the knife. When the anaesthetic had taken effect, Leslie sat up with her back rigid and her face impassive. Mark shivered with worry. This was more horrible than he could have imagined.
Melissa did the deed, and Leslie leaned back onto the table. Mantis strapped Leslie's wrists to the other two corners of the table, while Erin and Laura sliced, microwaved, and distributed the severed breasts. All forty-two of the Technotron executives received healthy portions. Sheridan's was rather larger than most, but Mark Simmons was disturbed to find both nipples and a generous helping of flesh on his plate. It was far more than the others were enjoying. He picked up his fork and began eating after receiving a severe glance from Leslie. Mark overcame his revulsion and found that the warm meat had a pleasant taste and consistency. He almost enjoyed it despite himself.
The Technotron executives had chosen the two-course meal, and Mark was appalled to see Erin approaching with a hacksaw. His eyes widened as Laura injected more anaesthetic into each of Leslie's arms and legs. Mantis tied tight tourniquets around Leslie's upper thighs and arms. Mark watched in horror as his lover's limbs were severed one by one and carted off to the kitchen. Leslie herself seemed unconcerned by her sudden weight loss.
The kitchen workers were very efficient and had the best and fastest ovens. It did not take very long for the preliminary course to be prepared and served. Mark found himself staring at a roasted human foot. He reluctantly began eating and found the meat tender and tasty. Nonetheless, it was difficult to enjoy with Leslie lying before him with such an absurd lack of concern. He finished it eventually, but the others had long since wolfed down their portions and were discussing in morbid detail how delicious it had been.
The appetizers and preliminary course being finished, the final course was about to be prepared. The Technotron executives lined up and each said a few complimentary words to their willing victim as they filed past and gathered in the far side of the room. Mark was allowed to have a moment with her before the end. She was joking and smiling and emitting that signature giggle. Mark tried not to be too sombre, but it was a losing battle.
"Thank you for all you've done for me, Mark," she said, "you're the best friend I've ever had."
This seemed excessive to Mark, but he said something nice to her and kissed her lovely lips. Her bloody flat chest was a bit disconcerting, but he managed to ignore it. She behaved as if she were about to depart for Europe rather than for the hereafter. Mark moved in a daze. Then the others returned, and Mantis handed Mark an ornate silver dagger. Mark was directed to place the tip of the weapon on the centre of Leslie's bloody chest. He did so listlessly.
"I'm ready," Leslie whispered, "do it now, my love."
Mark forced himself to push down of the dagger before he could realize what he was doing. Tears obscured his vision. The other executives cheered politely as Leslie Harding expired with a contented smile on her face.
Mantis, Melissa, Erin, and Laura lost no time in carting the limbless corpse off to the kitchen and cleaning the blood off the table. The dagger was still lodged in Leslie's breast as she was pushed on a cart through the double doors to the central kitchen.
The executives produced briefcases and pads of paper and prepared to begin their business meeting as if nothing had happened. The meeting lasted for some time, but Mark was unable to concentrate on anyone's reports. His mind was with his lifeless lover in the oven in the next room.
Just as the meeting ended, the meal was ready to resume. Each executive was brought a plate with a steaming piece of meat, some more recognizable than others, according to the orders that had been placed while Mark was saying his last farewells to his victim. Lafferty received a shoulder, which haunted Mark until his own dinner was brought to him.
Mark's dinner turned out to be a large portion, which included Leslie's internal and external genitalia. It was placed sideways on the plate, so that Mark could observe the ovaries and uterus on his left, and the vagina and labia on his right. The whole thing rested on a large lettuce leaf and was garnished with parsley and a cherry. Everyone got a set of small side dishes containing unusual bits that Mark was told were portions of heart, lung, brain, and intestine.
The undistributed parts of the carcass were brought in on a silver platter and placed in the centre of the table for second helpings. Although badly depleted, the remains were entirely too recognizable. Mark realized that it was destined to be a long and arduous meal. He picked up his fork and began.
Mark Simmons returned home very tired and depressed. He carried his briefcase in one hand, and a plastic bag in the other. The bag contained a small wooden plaque, which had been awarded to Mark for his role as selectman. One side of the plaque contained a full frontal nude photograph of the late Leslie Harding. On the opposite side were engraved her name, birth date, date of death, hometown, physical measurements, and other vital information.
Worst of all, the centre of the plaque was dominated by a small triangle of human skin, which was covered with Leslie Harding's pubic hair. This peculiar prize, which some of Mark's crasser colleagues had referred to as a "beaver pelt", was a symbol coveted and collected by people desiring to show off their status. To own such a plaque, or better yet several of them, was every executive's dream. Mark was somehow unaware of this and disapproved strongly. How was he going to show this macabre trophy to his wife? It did not help that it was attached to a private body part of one of his wife's best high school friends.
Of course, Mark was not the only one who got a souvenir. Chairman of the Board Sherman was awarded Harding's skull. Lafferty took home a femur, and everyone else got some bone or another to hang on their office wall. Leslie Harding became a very well-distributed woman. Mark did not look forward to the November meeting.
(13, 16, 17 March 1995)
IV
Laura Murphy woke up with a sick feeling in her stomach on a Monday morning she had never expected to see. She had really wanted to succeed in this matter. Even her last minute efforts to round up customers had been unsuccessful. Laura faced the last morning of her life with a sense of failure. Of course, she would be enjoyed, but it was not quite the same thing.
Laura stood up and walked sombrely over to the large window occupying most of the west wall of her apartment. She was completely nude, but she did not fear voyeurs in other towers. All of the windows in the Tasty Kate's Tower were one-way mirrors. A man walking along the street could look up and have no idea how many naked women, or men for that matter, were watching him from above. Laura no longer cared about that though. She looked out wistfully upon the city of Philadelphia from which she had for the last five years been isolated. She could look, and the view was fabulous, but she was no longer permitted to venture outside the Tasty Kate's Tower. It was one of the job requirements, one that troubled Laura much more than other seemingly more significant job requirements, such as dying.
Even now, with death so close upon her, Laura was concerned less with the fact of her approaching death and more with the means by which she would die. After all, she had voluntarily chosen her fate, and she had lived for the last five years waking up every morning wondering if it would be her last. Unfortunately for her, there had always been another morning. But today she knew she was experiencing her last morning. It left a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling of disappointment and failure but not fear, never fear. Laura tore herself away from the view of the city and tiptoed past Melissa MacDonald, her still sleeping roommate, to the bathroom. She stepped into the shower and remembered the previous night as the cool water soothed her weary shoulders.
Tasty Kate's main dining room was a symmetrical chamber with twin buffet tables in the centre. These were surrounded by several rows of tables and booths crowded with couples and small groups enjoying or anticipating their steaming meals. The wall opposite the main entry was reserved for doors to the kitchen. The remaining two walls sported small wooden stages. Between each stage and the dining tables was a small bar.
Five o'clock was show time, and by then the bar adjoining the North stage was crowded with women jockeying for a better view. The bar adjoining the South stage was crowded with men engaged in a similar activity. At precisely five o'clock, both stages darkened. The centre of the main dining room remained well lit, however, to avoid inconveniencing those enjoying meals from the a la carte menu. Spotlights illuminated a group of six women emerging onto the South stage. Laura Murphy, at the back of the line, was only dimly aware of the men spotlighted on the North stage far across the room.
The men crowding the South bar cheered wildly as the six women spread out and took turns performing an elaborate strip-tease. Laura had practiced this with the others for the last month or so, never daring to believe that she might actually survive long enough to be forced to perform it. It did not bother her much; she was anything but shy. But she felt numb throughout the performance.
In half an hour, the six women were completely nude, standing in a line across the stage, and awaiting the results of the vote. This was Laura's second-to-last chance for reprieve. Laura looked over the competition: a tall twenty-six year old blonde named Tina, a remarkably attractive twenty-nine year old Asian-American named Mildred, a pale-skinned twenty-four year old redhead named Paula, a busty twenty-seven year old African-American name Clarissa, and a short twenty-five year old blonde named Angelica. Laura herself was a thirty-one year old brunette with a slim waist and petite breasts.
Those in the bar who had purchased buffet tickets for the evening were allowed to select their meal from the six choices. When all of the votes had been programmed into the ballot consoles, the results were announced. Tina received nineteen votes; Laura received twelve votes; Mildred received eleven votes; Clarissa and Paula each received six votes; and Angelica netted three votes. Tina smiled and blushed and blew kisses at her patrons. Then she descended into the bar to chat briefly with the excited buffet ticket holders before being led off to the kitchen to be prepared for her appearance on the buffet promptly at 7:30. A twenty-seven year old African-American man named Todd behaved similarly on the far side of the room. The buffet was the oldest tradition at Tasty Kate's.
Laura burned with hate for Tina. She took little consolation in her second place finish in the buffet race. Laura was in dire straits. Her tenure as a Grade A had ended during the previous week after five years on the banquet menu. The Sunday buffet main courses were traditionally selected from the week's expired Grade A candidates. The buffets on other nights of the week were stocked with Grade B candidates selected by the management. A spot on the buffet was at least an honourable way to go. But Tina had robbed Laura of her opportunity for that. Now there was only one last chance for Laura to be saved from the horrible fate of dying in the basement with the Grade B women and the unspeakable indignity of being shipped to a supermarket for retail sale. Laura had not dreaded this end so much five years earlier, but her time of acclimatization to the standards of honour for Tasty Kate's comestible employees had changed her.
At six o'clock, Laura and the four other disappointed survivors mounted the stage for their second dance. This time they were all desperate to show off their charms in the best possible light. This was the half-price sale. These five women and their male counterparts on the opposite side of the room were now available at half price to anyone who could afford the still-hefty cost. Reservations for up to a month in advance were accepted with a sizable advance payment. So, Laura and the others danced for their lives. While they danced, they scanned the bar for persons who looked like they might be in a position to buy a nice dinner. They danced for an hour and then they went down into the bar to chat with the men personally.
Every one of the bar's occupants was eager to have a conversation with a beautiful nude woman. The trick for the desperate women was to economize their time in such a way that they spent most of it negotiating with serious prospective patrons. This was not always a simple matter. Laura met a handsome man by the name of Martin Coffey who showed considerable interest in her. He was polite and dressed well enough to be a good bet, but when encouraged to get some friends together for a banquet, he confessed to being an airplane pilot with a very limited salary. Time was running short. Laura moved on and tantalized a few other men but to no avail.
At eight o'clock, the five hopefuls returned to the stage and performed with unbridled eroticism for another hour. This was followed by another hour of face-to-face hard sell. The hours continued to alternate between dance and negotiation until Tasty Kate's closed at midnight. Laura went backstage empty handed and dejected. Clarissa and Angelica were in similar moods. However, Mildred was excited to have garnered a position catering for a small corporate meeting on the following Friday. Paula had done even better, having secured a place at a lodge meeting on the very next day, a Monday. Laura, Clarissa, and Angelica went to bed tired, aching, and distraught at the thought that they too would die on Monday but in a far less enviable manner. The Grade B basement awaited.
Laura finished her long shower and discovered that Melissa had left their room, so she strolled down the hall to the lounge. A dozen thirty-second floor residents were gathered there watching television and socializing. Tasty Kate's did not have a dress code for off-duty employees, but there was no modesty except among the very new arrivals. Laura, like the majority of residents, preferred to wear her bathrobe around the halls, but a few of the women in the lounge were dressed in jeans and T-shirts, while others enjoyed going about entirely without clothes.
Everyone in the lounge was an American-born female Caucasian brunette. Long-term Tasty Kate's residents were given the freedom to roam anywhere in the thirty floors that housed all of the Grade A comestible employees. The only requirement was that they always keep their wrist-beepers with them in case they were needed. This freedom extended to those floors occupied by the opposite gender, and sexual relations between residents were not discouraged. After all, the frequent medical examinations precluded the possibility of venereal diseases. It was, however, required that any resulting pregnancies be aborted as soon as possible, since Tasty Kate's was not in the business of boiling babies and financially unwilling to support maternity leaves. Nonetheless, the residents tended to spend most of their time with their own floormates, and the floors were organized according to physical characteristics
Before Laura arrived in the lounge, her friends had been reviewing the previous night's fortunate ones. "So, how'd we do last night?" asked Stephanie rubbing her eyes sleepily.
"The morning report said that there were five banquets last night," replied Teresa, with the noxious smile of an experienced morning person.
"Pretty good day; anyone we know?" asked Anna, one of the older members of the group.
"Yeah, Erin Young beat me out for the 1st Federated Bank executive meeting banquet," replied Mantis with a touch of remorse.
"Oh, cheer up, Mantis, what do you expect? It's your second banquet, and you've only been on the menu for two weeks!" scolded Stephanie, "I've not been called down there in a month and a half. You've got plenty of time."
"Yeah," said Marilyn, a tall muscular woman, "you should be happy for Erin. You'll get your chance soon enough."
"It was about time for Erin," mused Sarah, another of the senior members, "How long was she waiting? Three years? I expected her to go pretty fast with tits like she had."
"There's more to beauty than tits, Sarah," said Mindy from across the room.
"True, true," said the others.
"Who else?" asked Anna.
"Two men, one of the imported Chinese chicks, and a blonde named Megan Potter," replied Teresa, counting them off on her fingers.
"Oh, I met her once," said Stephanie, "nice girl; good for her."
"Hey, anybody hear how Laura did?" asked Vickie.
Melissa shook her head gravely. Everyone understood her meaning.
"Oh, that's a shame," said Anna with a bit of anxiety over her own rapidly approaching expiration date.
"How'd she take it?" asked Mindy.
"She's not very happy about it," replied Melissa, "She went right to bed when she got home and tossed and turned all night."
"Well, I can understand that," said Stephanie.
"Still, she's going on the long voyage today," said Sarah, "so that's something at least."
"Yes, but she's travelling with the Grade B women," said Stephanie as if this was the ultimate in horror.
"Don't be so snobbish," scolded Mindy, "The voyage is wonderful no matter who you're going with."
"Perhaps," replied Stephanie a bit moodily, "Shush! Here she comes."
As Laura walked in, the rapidly improvised conversations died to an uncomfortable silence that lasted for several seconds before everyone seemingly at once decided to give Laura reassurances.
Sarah pulled out a soft chair, and Laura sat, "Hi, everyone. I suppose you've heard by now that I failed miserably." Her dejection made everyone wince.
"Oh, it's not so bad as all that," said Stephanie. "When are they calling you?"
"One thirty."
Stephanie looked at her watch. "Oh, then you only have about four hours before you make the long voyage. You must be excited."
"I'm going to the basement."
"So? The point is you're going," said Mindy, "Sure, you'd like to have gone as a Grade A, but going as a Grade B is nothing to scoff at!"
"Whatever you say," said Laura with a sigh that showed she was not convinced.
"Look," said Vickie, "Tasty Kate's is really overstocked. We're not cheap; not many people can afford a banquet, but they like to keep a lot of us around to have a good selection. I think something like a third of us end up like you. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Tasty Kate's is the most competitive restaurant in the nation!" Anna winced at this analysis of her probable fate.
Laura was still unhappy, but she eventually cheered up enough to play cards with the others. This occupied her for the most part until everyone else departed for lunch in the cafeteria. Laura herself was not allowed to eat anything this day, since Grade B candidates were required to begin the voyage on an empty stomach.
The minutes ticked off slowly one by one during the lunch hour. Laura watched an insipid soap opera on television, but her mind was not interested, and it was not a good idea for her to get hooked on anything continued until the next day anyway. Finally, her floormates returned at 1:00 after a hearty meal. They took turns wishing her well and saying their tearful good-byes until Laura's wrist pager chirped and a voice therefrom said "Laura Murphy please report to the kitchen area." Laura pushed the acknowledgment button, said good-bye to the last few of her friends, and hugged Melissa warmly before departing for the elevator.
The two elevators available to the Grade A candidates allowed access to the sixteen through forty-fifth floors, which were occupied by Grade A men and women, and the fourth floor, which housed the primary kitchens. Laura set off for the latter.
Laura was greeted at the elevator by a smiling woman in her late fifties. "All ready?" she said in an encouraging tone of voice.
Laura forced a smile in return. "All packed and ready to go."
"Good, good, we won't keep you waiting." The smiling woman took Laura's hand and slipped the blue bathrobe off of the younger woman's shoulders. The robe ended up in a pile of laundry in the corner. "You won't be needing this," said the older woman with a grandmotherly smile.
Laura stood in the warm kitchen unembarrassed by her nudity. The busy cooks waitresses, and busboys scattered around the large room took remarkably little notice of the brown-haired beauty amongst them.
"My, my, you're going to make someone very happy," said the older woman, looking Laura over with admiration. Laura smiled graciously.
"Well, let's get you to the basement!"
Laura nodded her head in assent and followed her attendant into a different elevator. Once in the basement, the attendant left Laura in a small waiting room with an encouraging smile and a promise that she would not have to wait much longer.
Laura found that she shared her waiting room with three other nude women. Clarissa and Angelica were waiting anxiously along with a thin Grade B blonde named Linda. Twenty-six female Grade B and demoted Grade A candidates were scheduled to make the long voyage on this day. In addition, a separate waiting room and processing line would see twenty-seven males off. Along with those hired in Philadelphia at the Tasty Kate's Tower itself, Tasty Kate's processed Grade B candidates recruited at its branch offices in Wilmington, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, and Baltimore. The restaurant also had contracts to process the Grade B candidates from the Big Apple's Cannibal Connection in New York City and Maneater's in Washington, D.C. One candidate was started down the processing line every twenty minutes from 10 am until 7 PM.
The waiting room was small and devoid of decorations. It was covered in old brown imitation wood panelling. There were no magazines in the room. The four occupants chatted distractedly. Linda was the least attentive of the group. The others noticed that she was shaking nervously. At 1:40, a door on the wall opposite the door through which they had entered opened, and a small man in a white coat and a clipboard stepped in and looked over the four women. He read Linda's name off his list and led her out the door. The others were convinced that the shivering girl's legs would buckle before she got to her destination. The three former Grade A candidates discussed the frailties of their Grade B sisters for a few minutes until another nervous Grade B was led in. Carol took a seat next to Laura and spoke rapidly and constantly, an obvious sign of nervousness.
At 2:00, the man came and collected Angelica. The small blonde hugged Clarissa and Laura before departing perfectly relaxed. She was replaced by a skinny Hispanic Grade B candidate named Maria, who displayed her unease by sitting in the corner and speaking very little.
Laura passed the time chatting with Clarissa about nothing significant. What was there to talk about at this point? The little man returned at 2:20, and Clarissa followed him out the door with rock-solid poise and dignity. Laura made the best of her time trying to tolerate Carol's babbling, Maria's occasional sniffles, and the loudly chattering teeth of Pamela, the newly-arrived Grade B. The latter sat close to Laura on the side opposite Carol and twisted the red locks of her hair nervously.
By 2:40, Laura was ready to scream. How could she be forced to endure her chosen fate in the presence of these pathetic candidates. The little man saved her from insanity.
Outside the waiting room, he introduced himself as Larry and hung the clipboard on a hook by the door they had just passed through. Beyond the door was a small office with steel door on the opposite side. A desk was situated next to the door, and Larry took a seat behind it. Laura sat in the chair beside the desk.
"Good afternoon, Miss Murphy," said Larry, whose desk was adorned by a name tag reading "Larry Stinson, Ph.D.: Terminal Psychological Counsellor." "You don't really need me, I think. But I have to ask you a few things before we proceed. OK?"
"Fine," said Laura, feeling considerably relieved after her liberation from the waiting room.
"OK, you understand what is going to happen to you today?"
"Yes."
"And you are comfortable with this?"
"I am."
"You're not having any last-minute second-thoughts?"
"No, I've had five years to think it over."
"Yes, of course. So, do you have any requests or questions before we move you on?"
"I can't think of anything."
"That's fine. You understand that this is merely a formality. I'm really here for the sake of the Grade B candidates. The last hour has been something of a rest period for me," Dr. Stinson said with a conspiratorial smile. "Mrs. Graham will pick you up at 3:00; that'd be about ten minutes from now, so you can just relax for a while." He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms behind his head.
"I have a question," said Laura after a few minutes. "What are you supposed to do if someone doesn't want to go through with it?"
The psychologist leaned forward with a smile. "Ah, well, that's what I'm here for. You see, I have the authority to release from her contract anyone who really doesn't want to do this. Tasty Kate's doesn't want to make any mistakes in that area. But then that seldom happens."
"What's to keep someone from enlisting and collecting her cash and then backing out?"
"Well, they have to pay most of it back, and Tasty Kate's will thoroughly investigate anyone they release to ensure that she was sincere in her actions. If they find fraud, they'll sue for return of the payment plus interest. But, as I said, that seldom happens."
"Really? Those girls in there seem pretty scared."
"Well, they are. But deep down they probably want to go through with it. You have to realize, that this is a big step for someone to take, and these Grade B women have had only a few weeks to get used to the idea. You, on the other hand, have been living with this reality for a long time. They want to do what they're doing, but nervousness is natural."
"Thank you, Dr. Stinson," said Laura as a young blonde woman in a white lab coat entered through the steel door and interrupted any further interrogation.
"My pleasure, Miss Murphy, I wish you the best of luck," replied the doctor while rising to shake her hand warmly.
The female technician who led Laura into the next room bore a name tag announcing her name as Cindy Graham. She directed Laura to stand in the centre of the small foyer. Various equipment adorned the cement-block walls, and the partition directly in front of them consisted of a black plastic curtain. The room was warm.
"You can always pick out the Grade A's," said Graham to no one in particular.
Laura replied, "How? Less nervous?"
Graham looked startled that someone had heard what she said. "Yes, that. The Grade B candidates are always terrified but happy. The Grade A candidates are confident but depressed."
"Oh, yes we're depressed," said Laura with a mournful look.
"Well, cheer up, you're getting what you've wanted for so long. This is a good day for you; what does it matter that you go down here instead of upstairs?"
"It's sort of a matter of honour," Laura replied sheepishly.
"Forget it," said Cindy enthusiastically, "I assure you, no one looks askance at a Tasty Kate's Grade B. Someone will pay a whole lot of money for you, especially since you're likely to be the best-looking one on the shelf. But let's get started, shall we?"
Laura nodded with a slight smile. She noticed that Cindy Graham was an odd individual, one of those who would never think of enlisting as a Tasty Kate's comestible employee but who were nonetheless overly enthusiastic about the institution and its mission. Laura had met a few other people like that.
Graham picked up a six-inch diameter ring. This peculiar object was about an inch thick and bumpy on the outside. The inside was smoothly padded, and a small green diode glowed on one side. Cindy unhooked a small catch directly opposite the ring's diode and folded the device into two connected half-circles.
Laura watched with curiosity as her hair was brushed aside and the hard plastic collar secured snugly around her neck. The diode was situated at the back of her neck. "What's that for?" asked Laura.
"That, my dear, is the means by which you will soon die." Cindy seemed to be enjoying this. "It is radio-controlled and will tighten until it strangles you."
Laura grimaced, "sounds painful."
"Yes, it might be, but it causes less damage to your body than anything else we could do to kill you; plus you get this," replied Graham, producing a small pill from her pocket.
"What's that?"
"Tranquilliser; drink up." Graham placed the tablet on Laura's tongue and handed her a small paper cup of water. "It's in a time-release capsule, so it won't take effect for a while, but when it does, nothing's going to wake you up."
Laura took all this in placidly and waited for the next step. Cindy brought forth the next peculiar device and brought it to Laura. It was a sturdy metal bar about a foot long with chains attached to its ends to form a triangle with a large ring at the apex. The ends of the bar were also attached to leather and cloth harnesses of some sort.
"Please hold your arms straight out in front of you," requested Graham.
Laura complied, and the harnesses were attached to her wrists. The bar held her hands apart just enough to keep her arms parallel. The soft lining was comfortable, and the chain dangled between Laura's knees as she lowered her arms.
"OK, all done; your destiny awaits right through there," said Cindy Graham with a smile that said "I'm happy for you, but I wouldn't want to be in your shoes for a million bucks!"
Laura thanked Graham and walked through the plastic curtain into a large room containing the actual processing line. The area just inside the door was a small platform, which sloped down gradually into a channel with a lower floor level. The channel ran for about forty feet before passing through another black plastic curtain to another room. A sturdy metal framework extending along the length of the room supported three rails. Two of these rails were at about the same level as the floor just inside the door and spaced about four feet apart, running along the sides of the channel. They were about four feet above the channel's floor. The third rail was overhead, and Laura could see several hooks lined up above her head near the door. The sounds of machinery made this room rather menacing.
An overweight man in overalls was ready for her with a reassuring smile and directions. He took the chain between her hands and looped the stainless steel ring at its apex over the first of the overhead hooks. Laura found her parallel arms raised straight above her head. She could, however, still stand with her bare feet flat on the floor. The position was only mildly uncomfortable, but she felt quite helpless.
The man, whose overalls had the name "Stan" stitched in a small white oval over the breast pocket, stood in front of Laura and seemed to admire her exposed smoothly-shaven underarms. A good job, Laura thought, for an underarm fetishist.
"Well, Miss..." began Stan, checking his clipboard. "Let's see...3:20, Laura Murphy? Everything all right, Miss Murphy?"
Laura nodded as well as she could in her somewhat restrained position.
"Well," smiled Stan, "you'll find everything downhill from here on out. You don't need to do anything; just enjoy the ride."
Laura smiled slightly to show that she understood. She was beginning to feel an unusual mental lightness. She wondered if it was the tranquilliser starting to take effect but thought that it had rather more to do with the sudden lack of responsibility. No one would ever expect her to do anything ever again. The concerns of life floated away, and Laura relaxed for what was to come. Her worries about honour and her former Grade A status seemed to dissipate in her realization of their pettiness.
Stan turned a dial on a control panel next to the door, and Laura's overhead hook began to move slowly along its rail. She followed it along with slow steps. At first, she could walk easily, but as the floor gradually sloped away, Laura was forced to walk on her toes. Even that soon became impossible, and she found herself dangling from her wrists, her feet swinging gently above the receding floor. The harnesses around her wrists were soft enough that this did not present any great discomfort.
A bit further down the line, Laura felt a strong hand grasp her left ankle. She looked down to see a blonde male head. This worker efficiently locked first her left and then her right ankle into leather harnesses running along the two lower rails. Her legs were thus spread quite wide with her ankles four feet apart. It was a little bit uncomfortable, and even with her complete lack of shyness, Laura began to feel somewhat self-conscious. She could distinctly feel her rapid heartbeat.
Laura continued to move slowly down the three rails. Just before she reached the big black plastic curtain, she stopped moving, and someone below inserted tubes into her vagina and anus. Laura shivered as cool liquid flushed both of her lower orifices. She found this terribly unpleasant. Some women enjoyed douches and enemas, or so the television commercials would have us believe, but Laura had never met such a woman.
The reason for this evacuation was related to her being prohibited from having lunch. Laura felt her stomach growl as she was reminded of her internal emptiness. It was Tasty Kate's policy that processed Grade B candidates be packaged with as little digestive tract contents as possible. It was said that the customers liked it best that way. On the positive side, these indignities did not last long, and Laura was soon moving again along the rails.
A clock above the entrance to the next room read 3:38 in glowing green digits. The curtain parted for her to enter and swept shut behind her. This room was narrower with walls and ceiling spaced just far enough apart to contain the channel and its steel framework. Laura glimpsed Clarissa's chocolate-brown back moving through a partition thirty feet further along.
Laura soon realized the function of this smaller room. Various pipes covered the walls, and Laura noticed a few nozzles directed at her. The floor was wet. A female figure in what looked very much like a skin-diving suit stood below Laura with a long-handled brush. Laura jumped as the warm water hit her, beginning her thorough wash. The woman below scrubbed Laura's body with the soft brush. After its startling beginning, the bath became very pleasant. The sudsy water was just the right temperature, and the brush massaged her body in a soothing, almost arousing, way. The nozzles were perfectly aimed to bathe Laura's entire body while avoiding splashing her face. Laura thought the place must have been designed by good engineers.
As the wash cycle faded into a rinse cycle, and slightly cooler soap-free water cascaded over her body, Laura began to feel drowsy. She must have dozed off during the dry cycle with the warm air buffeting her limbs and torso because she opened her eyes and realized that she was in a different room.
This chamber was brightly-lit, and the floor was only about six inches beneath Laura's feet. Several workers attacked abruptly. Two or three began rubbing non-toxic, lightly flavoured lotion into Laura's arms and legs. A female attendant combed Laura's hair from behind. In a few minutes, Laura's hair was completely dried and styled, and all of her skin had a slight sheen and great softness. Laura had a warm feeling deep inside as she moved further on.
At the next station, a woman began to apply makeup to Laura's face. Lipstick, rouge, eye shadow, eyeliner. The whole works was required. After being asked to close her eyes for the eye makeup, Laura found it difficult to open them again. A second woman went almost unnoticed by Laura as she carefully trimmed the latter's pubic hair and styled it into a perfect equilateral triangle as traditional standards of beauty dictated. Other attendants applied makeup lightly to other parts of Laura's body. It would be no good if she became too pale after they had removed her blood. Laura drifted in and out during most of this and was quite sound asleep by the time they were finished with her.
As Laura was moved along, a technician watching from an observation room above flipped a red switch. Laura's collar contracted slowly. At first this did not affect her much, but soon her breathing became laboured and eventually altogether impossible. Her unconscious body reacted slightly to this stress, but it did not bother to wake her up. The powerful tranquilliser allowed Laura to surrender her life without a fight. Laura's long voyage and eternal restfulness ensued. Her makeup was not even smeared in the process.
Laura's warm corpse kept travelling along its railed route. Attendants with rubber tubes attached to needles rapidly plunged them into Laura's major arteries and extracted all of her blood in a matter of minutes. The red fluid was stored in a plastic bag. She moved on.
A table in the centre of the shallow channel supported a large cardboard box. Laura's ankles were released from their bonds just before she reached this station, and two attendants pulled her legs forward onto the table. Two plastic connecting strips secured her ankles near the far end of the box. The attendants slipped off Laura's death collar and unhooked her arms from the overhead rail. They eased her body down into the box, and tied the plastic connector around her upper torso. Unhooking the harness from her arms, they secured her wrists at her sides with another pair of plastic connectors. Once she was nicely packaged, the attendants touched up her makeup and hair and dragged her cardboard coffin onto a large conveyor belt.
The bag containing Laura's blood was placed in the box below her feet, and an automatic machine shrink-wrapped the entire package. An adhesive label with the Tasty Kate's trademark was stuck to the upper right-hand corner, and a second label was attached to the upper left-hand corner. This latter tag was covered in pictures of the living Laura. It bore her name, age, and other vital information. The customers liked such personal touches.
Strong loading-dock workers lifted Laura's package off of the conveyor belt and placed it next to Clarissa's box in the small refrigerated storage room adjacent to the truck loading-dock.
Later that evening, just before the fifty-three boxes were to be loaded onto the truck for delivery to the supermarkets, the manager of the Tasty Kate's buffet stopped by to select the bill of fare for the next few days. After selecting two of the male corpses, he examined each of the females carefully. Clarissa was chosen for the next day's buffet. Laura was picked for the Wednesday night buffet. Though she would never know it, Laura, was saved from the supermarket and allowed to be enjoyed within Tasty Kate's itself. There is such a thing as a happy ending.
The boxes of the four lucky ones were transported to the fourth floor refrigerators, while Angelica, Linda, Carol, Maria, and Pamela and the others were loaded onto the truck.
(18 March 1995)
V
Martin Coffey flipped a switch and declared the pre-flight check complete. His co-pilot, Harry Schmidt, followed him out of the cockpit and into the main cabin to greet the arriving passengers. Martin and Harry joined the flight attendants in saying, "Hello, enjoy the flight" to each of the 250 passengers, a chore that was made tolerable by the pilots' illicit hand signals.
The large airliner was within the massive Tasty Kate's hanger adjacent to runway 28B at the Philadelphia International Airport. The passengers had been bussed from downtown in special buses with tinted-windows. This was, of course, done to avoid gawkers. They arrived early at the hanger and were led up the mobile staircase and into the waiting plane in time for a 6:00 am departure.
These passengers, being in the custody of Tasty Kate's, were no mere tourists. Anyone looking at them would have noticed this simple fact. Each of them trembled visibly. In addition, each of them was entirely nude save a pair of beige sandals and a name bracelet not unlike the kind used for hospital patients.
Tasty Kate's was the only restaurant in the nation big enough to warrant two flights per week. It served a large heavily-populated area, and the restaurant's prestige led many to enlist in Philadelphia rather than at a lesser-known establishment closer to their hometowns. So, Martin visited the city of brotherly love every Monday and Thursday. They and one other flight crew were able to service every other member of the American Confederation of Homovoristic Eateries (ACHE) on a weekly schedule. It was a surreal job, but it paid reasonably well.
This Monday was like any other. Martin and Harry, as was their custom, greeted each of the 125 male and 125 female passengers as they boarded and examined each to determine what defect had relegated each passenger to the ranks of the Grade C comestible employees. Some of these were easy. Martin covertly flashed Harry their private hand signal for "birthmarks" as a young woman walked by with a nervous smile. Others were tougher. Harry made the sign for "small penis" as an underendowed thirty-year-old male named Peter Kurtz boarded the plane. Martin disagreed and signed, "no, love handles." No one seemed to have noticed this avocation, which is fortunate for the pilots since it would surely have gotten them fired. Martin and Harry simultaneously signed "flat chested" as a nineteen-year-old named Jill Thomas passed by them.
It took quite a while to get everyone onto the plane, but there was the advantage that no one had any carry-on luggage. When everyone was on board, an odd sight greeted anyone looking back from the front of the plane: every seat to the right of the aisle was occupied by a nude human male, while every seat to the left of the aisle supported a nude human female. Martin savoured momentarily the view of 250 bare breasts in neat rows as far as the eye could see. Then it was time to get back to work.
As the pilots entered the cockpit, the four flight attendants began their well-rehearsed spiel. The two female and two male flight attendants wore skimpy bikinis and swimsuits. This was more a result of the cabin being kept very warm for the benefit of the nude passengers than of any desire on the part of the management to make their flight attendants sexually alluring. But it served this purpose as well, and the female flight attendants always enjoyed watching the very visible results of this on the right side of the aisle. The females on the other side had an easier time hiding their attention, but a fair percentage of them did tend to get red around the neck and chest when the male flight attendants walked by.
The lead flight attendant, a ravishing blonde named Meredith, spoke into the microphone, while Tim, Jack, and Wendy demonstrated the seat belts and pointed out the exits from the aisle. This safety speech differed little from the standard airline version. By the time the plane had taxied to the brim of runway 28B, Meredith had finished with a flourishing "thank you for choosing Tasty Kate's; we hope you have a pleasant flight."
Martin Coffey launched the plane into the air expertly, and banked the plane into a large curve that ended 150° later when the plane was pointed toward Omaha. The pilots relaxed for the three-hour flight.
Behind them, in the main cabin, the flight attendants were beginning the in-flight film. It wasn't the kind of movie one might see at a cinema. It was, instead, an instruction manual for the passengers. It told in detail what was expected of them upon arrival at the Omaha Central Food Processing Facility. Attractive people with enormous smiles and reassuring voices explained how the passengers would be unloaded, thoroughly bathed, packed into termination capsules, and placed on the conveyor belts to await the turn that would set them on the long voyage. They were informed that some of them would be waiting for as long as twelve hours, which seemed an excruciatingly long time to lie on your back thinking about your impending death, but this could not be avoided. The film also explained a bit about what would happen to them afterwards, but this was done in vague enough terms to minimize the uneasiness the passengers might feel about it. The visuals in the film were mostly seemingly inappropriate shots of soothing things like songbirds, clouds, and ocean waves. The one thing that seemed conspicuously absent was the slaughterhouse itself. There was not a single drop of blood in the whole show, despite the fact that blood was very much a part of the passengers' future.
The landing in Omaha at the private runway connected to the Central Processing Facility was a smooth ending to an uneventful flight. Martin Coffey leaned back in his seat and removed his headset as Harry Schmidt taxied the aluminium bird right up to the jetway jutting out of the side of the Omaha plant. The drone of the engines faded away, and the pilots emerged from their cockpit to watch the unloading of the passengers.
It was quite a sight. The passengers followed their instructions well and waited in their seats for a flight attendant to direct them. Coffey thought that it was brilliantly choreographed. The passengers were lined up starting with those in the front rows. The line alternated male and female passengers and marched steadily out of the plane.
When all of the passengers had been led out of the plane, Coffey and Schmidt could see the back of the 250th person in line waiting patiently just outside the airliner's hatch. In many ways these Grade C candidates were as alluring or more so than their Grade A and Grade B counterparts. Coffey accordingly admired Jill's small round female bottom and tried to contain his romantic horror at the tragedy soon to befall it.
Martin Coffey had a flash realization of the awful realities of his occupation. It was unbelievably pathetic that each and every one of those 250 passengers, those living breathing human beings, would soon be converted, albeit willingly, into steak. This is not to say that he disliked human flesh. He'd enjoyed his share of prime rib and femoral filet, but forcing himself to connect this tender meat with the passengers he daily transported drove his mind into a bizarre new dimension. He watched helplessly as the two rows of doomed humans were marched onto moving sidewalks. These people glided off into the bowels of the Omaha Central Food Processing Facility.
He was grateful when Schmidt summoned him into the cockpit for the post-flight check. Coffey glimpsed out the window as the last of the crates was loaded into the plane's refrigerated luggage compartment. He knew that these crates contained what was left of the passengers brought from Seattle's Fit For Human Consumption a week earlier by the afternoon flight crew. He forced himself to take his mind off of such unpleasantness and began to whistle a cheerful tune as he readied the plane for the arrival of the afternoon crew. After all, life was good.
He had the day to go home and enjoy the company of his beautiful girlfriend before he had to leave the next morning for Mile High Mike's in Denver. The next day would see him visiting Chicago's Wendy's City Restaurant, then back to Tasty Kate's. Friday's passengers would come from Homo Delicious in San Francisco, and Saturday was allocated to the Alligator's Favourite Meal in Miami. Sunday was his day off, and Monday he would be back in Philadelphia once again completing his weekly cycle. Job security he surely had, for there would no doubt be an endless supply of culinary martyrs as long as there were people on Earth. Martin smiled a bit and whistled louder.
Margaret was a penis expert. Hers was a job that was usually filled by women both because men found it discomforting and because some women loved it so much. Margaret was good at what she did, the best in the Omaha Central Food Processing Facility. She could remove the genitals from a male corpse in under a minute.
Such proficiency was necessary with the processing line dismantling five hundred Grade C humans a day, which left just two and a half minutes for each one to remain at each station along the disassembly line. Since Margaret's specialty was gender-dependent, she had it easy. Her partner, Maurice, stepped in to extract the females' genitals when they came along. Margaret enjoyed Maurice's company. It was really too bad that he was gay. Still, they got along well, and Margaret enjoyed her eight hours and eighty-three penises per day.
The genital extraction station was #3 on the line. Station #1 was where the waiting Grade C men and women were released from their plastic coffin-like termination modules only to find themselves under the guillotine. Beheading was still the quickest and least painful method of execution. It was a good choice as long as you were not determined to keep your victims in one piece, which was, of course, not a goal of the disassembly plant.
Station #2 was where the breasts were removed. This was a significant stage for the females, since the breasts were two of the most valuable cuts of meat, but the males had their nipples amputated as well. It took a lot of male nipples to make a meal, but some people enjoyed the dish immensely.
Then the headless, breastless corpses arrived at station #3 where Margaret or Maurice would relieve them of their genitals. Further down the line, arms were amputated at station #4 and further processed on a separate line with stations #4a through 4f. A similar procedure was followed at station #5 with the legs. And so on for two dozen more stations until the corpses were fully degraded into meal-sized pieces. But most of this did not concern Margaret, for she was a penis specialist and very focused on her job.
On a certain Monday, Margaret found something unusual. The headless corpse of a man arrived before her like every other headless male corpse. The man's love handles and extremely small penis were hardly unusual. What was unusual was that this man had something to say to her. A small slip of note paper was impaled on this corpse's petite penis.
Margaret had no time to read it, so she took the note and slipped it into the breast pocket of her apron before lopping off the former Peter Kurtz's genitals. She placed the severed body part on the proper chute and eagerly attended to the note. Maurice was as excited about it as she was. The note said, "Beautiful Margaret, when you've done neutering the natives would you like to join me for dinner? Your adoring Justin." Maurice giggled when Margaret read the note out loud, and he nearly botched his removal of the female organs from a skinny corpse that had once been called Jill Thomas.
Margaret herself tucked the note back into her pocket and wiped some of the blood off of her forehead. She vaguely knew this Justin fellow. As she remembered, he was employed in the removal of breasts. Her mini-reverie was cut short by the necessity of attending to the next male corpse. She sliced off this one's genitals almost without thinking about it. Justin would be in a heap of trouble if anyone caught him disrespecting the comestible employees as he had with his note. But, she was still interested.
A few hours later while on a ten-minute break, Margaret scrawled a reply note reading "Oh, foolish mammary mauler, I'd be pleased to join you for dinner, but be warned that few are the penises I've seen and left attached. Your faithful Margaret."
When she returned to her duties, Margaret placed the note on the lower returning layer of the conveyor belt. After seven more sets of male genitals had passed through her hands, a skinny male corpse arrived bearing a second note. It read, "Dearest Margaret, I am pleased to accept your acceptance. I assure you I am quite capable of looking out for the health of my penis, but you will want to keep an eye on your breasts. Forever yours, Justin." Margaret's face was split by a wide smile, and Maurice cracked up and nearly rolled on the floor.
Justin met her as she emerged from the shower room in her street clothes. It was the beginning of a beautiful, if unconventional, romance.
(15 March 1995)
Appendix A:
A Brief History of Tasty Kate's, Inc.
(All dates are in New Calendar Years)
11 June 179: Katherine Marquette is served to a large curious crowd at the Grand Opening ceremony of Tasty Kate's in Philadelphia. It is the first restaurant offering human cuisine in the United States. For its first year of operation, the menu contains items found on any good seafood or steak restaurant, with the human offerings limited to a single female volunteer served as the featured entree for Sunday night buffets.
23 July 180: Tasty Kate's adds Friday night buffets featuring a human male main course to its weekly schedule.
11 June 184: Tasty Kate's begins, as a result of increasing demand, its tradition of twin male and female buffets served daily. To meet the increased demand for fourteen volunteers per week, Tasty Kate's begins what later develops into its extensive recruiting and training operations.
30 August 186: The second restaurant to serve human flesh, the first of many Tasty Kate's imitators to spring up in the next few years across the country, is opened in New York. The Big Apple's Cannibal Connection, one of the few restaurants of its kind to stand the test of time, remains the second most successful human-consumption establishment to the present day.
9 March 190: A complete line of a la carte human body parts is added to the Tasty Kate's menu alongside beef, chicken, and seafood dishes. This lower-priced alternative to the buffet rapidly becomes a popular dining experience.
21 December 202: Tasty Kate's moves into its specially constructed fifty-story Tasty Kate's Tower. Its applicant grading system of A, B, C, and D grade candidates is instituted at this time. For the first time, highest quality humans are available for private banquets at Tasty Kate's. Tasty Kate's menu is severely abbreviated to include only human flesh and a few token vegetarian and animalitarian entrees for those opposed to cannibalism but who desire to join their more liberal friends for a meal.
27 February 207: A central food processing facility co-owned by Tasty Kate's and several similar restaurants in other cities opens in Omaha. Chartered flights are scheduled to transport Grade C candidates recruited in the restaurants to Omaha for state-of-the-art humane automated dismantling. The flesh is then flown back to its restaurant of origin for a la carte sale.
8 May 209:The events related in Chapter I of this manuscript take place.
17 August 237:The events related in Chapter II of this manuscript take place.
28 October 237:The events related in Chapter III of this manuscript take place.
8-9 November 237: The events related in Chapter IV of this manuscript take place.
9 November 237: The events related in Chapter V of this manuscript take place.
(15 March 1995)
Appendix B:
Some notes regarding the Tasty Kate's Tower
The fifty-story Tasty Kate's Tower was constructed between January 201 and December 202 NCY. The chief architect, Dr. N.P. Singer, designed the structure taking into account the unique needs for a combination of elegant dining space, luxurious living space, extensive administrative space, and state-of-the-art humane life termination operations. A complete floor-by-floor summary of the building's contents is provided below for orientation purposes. Each residential level consists of 50 comfortable 15 x 20 foot double-occupancy rooms. In addition, lounge, bathing, and entertainment facilities are provided. The building's exterior is covered in black-mirrored windows, and it is topped by an aesthetically pleasing glass pyramid. Tasty Kate's transferred its operations to the new tower in 202 NCY.
Comestible employees reside in the Tasty Kate's Tower for differing periods depending on grade. Grade A candidates are housed in dual-occupancy rooms on floors 16 through 45 until they are ordered via the computerized menu or until they have been on the menu for five years, whichever is shorter. Grade B candidates are housed temporarily on floors 12 through 15 for up to six weeks before being harvested in the basement facilities and distributed to one of several supermarket chains. Grade C candidates live on floors 8 though 11 for up to two weeks before being shipped to the Omaha central food processing facility on one of the twice-weekly flights. Their flesh is returned on the next flight and stored on the fourth floor of the Tasty Kate's Tower until it is needed. Finally, Grade D candidates live on floors six and seven for up to a week before being processed in the basement and shipped in the form of hamburger to supermarkets and/or fast food chains.
Floor Primary Use
B Harvesting and shipping facilities for Grade B and Grade D candidates
1 Main Dining Room and secondary kitchens
2 Private Banquet Rooms: 12
3 Comestible Employee Admissions offices
4 Refrigerated storage facilities and primary kitchens
5 Medical facilities
6 Grade D Residence: male
7 Grade D Residence: female
8-9 Grade C Residence: male
10-11 Grade C Residence: female
12-13 Grade B Residence: male
14-15 Grade B Residence: female
16-17 Grade A Residence: male, domestic, Caucasian, brunette
18-19 Grade A Residence: male, domestic, Caucasian, blonde
20 Grade A Residence: male, domestic, Caucasian, redhead
21-22 Grade A Residence: male, domestic, African-American
23 Grade A Residence: male, domestic, Asian-American
24 Grade A Residence: male, domestic, Hispanic and Native American
25 Grade A Residence: male, imported, Caucasian brunette
26 Grade A Residence: male, imported, Caucasian blonde and redhead
27 Grade A Residence: male, imported, African
28 Grade A Residence: male, imported, Asian
29 Grade A Residence: male, imported, Hispanic
30 Grade A Residence: male, imported and domestic, all body types, homosexual
31-32 Grade A Residence: female, domestic, Caucasian, brunette
33-34 Grade A Residence: female, domestic, Caucasian, blonde
35 Grade A Residence: female, domestic, Caucasian, redhead
36-37 Grade A Residence: female, domestic, African-American
38 Grade A Residence: female, domestic, Asian-American
39 Grade A Residence: female, domestic, Hispanic and Native American
40 Grade A Residence: female, imported, Caucasian brunette
41 Grade A Residence: female, imported, Caucasian blonde and redhead
42 Grade A Residence: female, imported, African
43 Grade A Residence: female, imported, Asian
44 Grade A Residence: female, imported, Hispanic
45 Grade A Residence: female, imported and domestic, all body types, homosexual
46-50 Storage and administration
(15 March 1995)
Appendix C:
"A Statement Regarding the Sociological and Psychological Impact of Tasty Kate's"
(A speech presented at Tasty Kate's semi-centennial celebration on 11 June 229 NCY)
by Edmund K. Milligan, esq., Vice President for Public Relations, Tasty Kate's, Inc.
It is impossible to deny that the existence of Tasty Kate's and newer fine dining establishments organized along similar lines has had a profound impact on the society in which we live. It is my contention, however, that almost all of this influence had ultimately been of the positive rather than the negative sort. I say that not only because I am charged with the responsibility of making Tasty Kate's acceptable to the general populace but also because it is clearly and without a doubt the absolute truth.
It is difficult to understand from our enlightened perspective the childish awe with which our ancestors a scarce few hundred years ago held all human life. Such an immature view was, of course, destined to be taken to ridiculous extremes. It is a strange fact, though you may imagine this to be an exaggeration of the historians, that society at that time was so hung up on the sacredness of life and their terror of death that it restricted the choice of death and doomed to terrible pain thousands upon thousands of terminally ill patients with no reasonable hope of recovery. The mercy of euthanasia upon demand was forbidden at all costs to preserve life, regardless of how much the person forced to live said life might want to be freed of it. This is an even more horrendous state if you imagine that these people lacked some of our most valuable medical techniques!
You'll surely say I'm lying, but it's true that people were actually beaten and murdered for the sake of fertilized eggs! Each and every human being was expected to live as long as possible under whatever horrible circumstances from the moment of their conception until science became unable to support their lives even in a coma state.
But we can look at our world in a much saner way. Now that the morality and legality of euthanasia and early-stage abortion are settled issues, we can view a much kinder world. None of us has the opportunity to choose life. None of us asked to be born. But we now have the right to choose to remain alive just as we now are not denied the right to choose to die when life no longer interests us.
However, this is a very divisive issue in society to this very day. Tasty Kate's was a controversial enterprise from its inception and remains the continual target of protesters from the more radical religious groups and other ultra-conservatives. Such people want to deny the citizens of our society the right to die at will. They seek to force life upon us to suit their own agendas. Tasty Kate's confers untold benefits upon society's death-seekers. Through the Tasty Kate's organization, sincere people can choose death without becoming an embarrassment to their families. They can, in the process, end their lives pleasantly, painlessly, and with honour. They can provide a service for their fellow human beings and endow their families with financial rewards. In short, Tasty Kate's is a way to end one's life in the all around best possible way.
What the protesters fail to understand is that people will commit suicide one way or another. These radicals would, however, prefer returning to the age of gunshot wounds, carbon monoxide, and sleeping pills. They would prefer to see the corpses of the discontented lying about in the streets or providing sustenance for worms. They would prefer to load humiliation and psychological weight upon the families of these unfortunate souls. They would force human beings to do what they know they must do in the most brutal and degrading possible way. How can anyone compare this to the humane procedures of Tasty Kate's?
No one gets hurt at Tasty Kate's. Everyone's interests are furthered. First and foremost, those disinterested in life are given an honourable means of relieving themselves of it. Their families gain wealth and are prevented from experiencing dishonour. The unwanted flesh of suicidal people is recycled into nutritious and highly enjoyable foodstuffs. And, of course, Tasty Kate's thrives as a corporation.
If the protesters wish to avoid being harmed by Tasty Kate's, all they need do is refrain from purchasing meals or applying for admittance as a comestible employee. The voluntary surrendering of life by another human being is no business of theirs. Tasty Kate's comestible employees have a wide variety of reasons for enlisting. Some are just sick of living and all of its many associated pains. Some yearn for the eternal rest and release from responsibilities offered by death. Some are fed up with the futility of life. Still others are fascinated with death and its mystery. For all it is a personal choice and a right that must be preserved.
How has Tasty Kate's affected the community at large? To begin with, suicide rates, excluding those within Tasty Kate's, have dramatically declined in the fifty years of Tasty Kate's operational life. Nearly 80% of all voluntary deaths last year in the Tasty Kate's area of operations took place within the well-controlled and humane environment of Tasty Kate's. Hunger in general has been reduced slightly with the increased food supply afforded by Tasty Kate's. In addition, the gap between rich and poor has narrowed noticeably as half of the funds used by the wealthy to purchase meals at Tasty Kate's are distributed to the on average poorer families of the volunteers.
It has been widely argued that the population is being disastrously reduced by Tasty Kate's operations. This is patently false. Tasty Kate's does hire on average roughly one hundred and sixty new comestible employees per day (5 Grade A; 40 Grade B; 75 Grade C; and 40 Grade D) in the main Philadelphia location and in branch offices in Wilmington, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, and Baltimore. This represents less than a one tenth of one percent annual consumption of the population in the Tasty Kate's area of operations which contains over sixty million people. Furthermore, the average number of children parented by Tasty Kate's applicants prior to admission is 1.2, so the overall national birth rate (2.7 children / couple) is not significantly affected.
This brings us to the issue of child support. The number of two-parent households has decreased slightly since the founding of Tasty Kate's. However, more than 50% of children have been growing up with one or fewer parents since long before Tasty Kate's began operations. The number of foster home placements and orphanage residents has increased slightly, but most children are adopted readily by loving parents. Our nation's children are not in general being harmed by Tasty Kate's.
Another objection commonly raised against Tasty Kate's is that its television and magazine advertisements so glamorise dying that people are coerced into submitting to conversion into food. This is, of course, an absurd accusation. Aside from the fact that total number of suicides within and without the walls of Tasty Kate's has increased a mere five percent in the half-century of Tasty Kate's existence, Tasty Kate's advertisements are not designed to coerce anyone into applying for comestible employment. We do advertise in order to draw the attention of those who desire our services. However, we submit each applicant to extensive psychological testing to determine that they are sincere in their desire to die. In fact, we reject more than a third of our applicants on this basis. We are simply not interested in selling death to people who have no desire for it. We have plenty of sincere applicants to keep us in business.
Some accuse Tasty Kate's of slaughtering the poor to serve the wanton desires of the wealthy. It is regrettably true that considerable capital is required to purchase a meal at Tasty Kate's. However, it is far from accurate to assume that all of our "victims" are poverty-stricken. In fact, the most cursory examination will amply demonstrate that the comestible employees cover the whole spectrum of wealth. Tasty Kate's comestible employees represent faithfully the finances, races, sexual orientations, and genders of the society at large.
One of the sound bites I've heard bandied about for years is that Tasty Kate's and its ilk "devalue human life." This is almost a meaningless criticism. But, we can see what these critics are getting at. But, I have to say that I believe that Tasty Kate's does the exact opposite. Sure, we convert human bodies into meat, but all of our comestible employees die with dignity and entirely voluntarily. But more importantly, with Tasty Kate's and easily-obtainable voluntary death available in society, we have a situation where you can look at the people passing you on the street and think to yourself "that person has chosen to continue to live." No longer is life something we're stuck with and must make the best of. Life is now an activity that we can choose either to undertake or to decline. Each and every human still living has decided to live, and I think it is undeniable that a life chosen by a person is certainly more valuable than a life thrust upon him against his will.
So, as you can well imagine from all of this, Tasty Kate's is a valuable asset to Philadelphia's cultural milieu and to the mental well being in our broad service area. Tasty Kate's has served our great city and its surrounding areas for a fifty years now. I hope and pray that it will survive to confer its great benefits upon many a generation to come. I thank you for you attention.
(20 March 1995)
Appendix D:
A Brief Biography of Katherine "Tasty Kate" Marquette
(30 September 156 - 11 June 179 NCY)
Being an excerpt from Tasty Kate's: the First 50 years (1)
by Arnold G. Farmingham, Executive Advertising Administrator, Tasty Kate's, Inc.
Katherine Marquette was born to upper-middle class parents in Erie, Pennsylvania on 30 September 156. She was the youngest of three girls. From the beginning, her parents knew that she would go far. Katie Marquette was always an excellent student, and she was very popular at school, seemingly able to find a friend in any situation.
Katherine Marquette was a beautiful child and soon grew the long brown hair that she would maintain at waist-length throughout her life. The round-faced beautiful child soon developed into a gorgeous young woman. She was versatile enough to serve as prom queen, class vice-president, and basketball team captain. (2)
After graduating from secondary school in the spring of 175, Marquette enrolled in the University of Pennsylvania with a full academic scholarship. She studied civil engineering, scoring consistently in the upper quartile on all of her examinations. A year before her expected graduation and the beginning of a promising career in pavement technology, Katherine Marquette shocked her parents and all of her many friends and acquaintances by dropping out of school. She subsequently entered her name in the nationwide search to find a comestible candidate for the upcoming grand opening of an as-of-yet unnamed homovoristic restaurant being organized in Philadelphia by a group of eminent venture capitalists.
Kate Marquette later told an interviewer that she had been so confident of success in this venture, that she had dropped everything in her life, including school and career, to devote her full time and energy to preparing herself for the responsibilities of the position she was seeking. Indeed, Marquette was hired for the job within 48 hours of her initial interview. The venture capitalists were unanimous in their selection: Katherine was the one.
Her oldest sister, Lindsay, 5 years Katherine's senior, was especially shocked, saying "Katie was always a woman who loved people and life and everything she did. It was so unlike her to drop everything like she did." (3) Katherine's other sister, Elizabeth, 3 years her senior, tried in vain to dissuade Katie from her suicidal undertaking. They had always been very close, but Elizabeth could not see Katherine's motives.
Katherine Marquette began her employment with the primordial restaurant on 27 August 178. An aggressive advertising campaign resulting in her making 47 talk show appearances in the next nine months. She became an overnight celebrity. It seems that the public, not yet fully acclimatized to the recent legalization of cannibalism, was fascinated with this self-sacrificing individual. Her beauty and charm multiplied her effectiveness as a spokeswoman for death. Many ratings records were broken that year.
In a later televised interview, Katherine Marquette described her motives as follows:
Nothing has ever been difficult for me. I know that no matter what I choose to do in life, I will succeed with little effort. Everything will be a sure bet, easy, boring, intolerable. Perhaps this is vanity, but so far this has been the case, and I see no change in the near future. But it is an incredible mental burden to have to deal with such a life, for no life can be fulfilling if it is not challenging. The challenge is what makes life worth living. Life is easy, anyone can live for a while at least. Death, that's a challenge. Not just dying; anyone can do that and eventually must do that. I'm talking about choosing to die. This is difficult. It's a challenge and a mystery and exciting. It's what I want to do with my life. It's so much more interesting than designing concrete blends. (4)
She was entirely dedicated to her decision as she demonstrated to the nation in dozens of talk show appearances. Despite her rapidly-gained celebrity status, Marquette did not allow herself to be distracted from her goal. She did not for a moment contemplate abandoning her terminal aim. Hers was a model of the wilful mind.
After her long tenure on the talk show circuit, Katherine Marquette was eager to get on with the business of dying. She said this in a newspaper interview on 8 June 179 NCY, a mere 3 days before her death: "I've enjoyed the last year, but I want to move on now. Being a talk show celebrity is interesting, but oddly enough I'm famous for doing something that I haven't done yet. I'm completely at peace with my decision, and my family has come to accept my wishes. I will die, and I will die well." (5)
The elaborate grand opening ceremony at the new restaurant began at 8:00 am and lasted until midnight. The mayor, governor, and president all made long praising speeches to a gathering of the nation's most affluent and prestigious people. Tasty Kate's first Chairman of the Board, Matthew B. Sloan, unveiled the sign for the restaurant at noon and surprised Katherine Marquette and the world by naming the new restaurant in her honour.
Tasty Kate herself was introduced at 12:30 by Sloan. She had observed the proceedings in dignified silence throughout the morning. Her dress was a floor-length violet velvet strapless gown. The star of the day then circulated among the crowd shaking hands and accepting compliments for over an hour. She took the podium at 2:00 and made a brief speech in which she praised many of her family members and close friends, the management of the new restaurant, the government agencies that had led the drive for the policy changes that made such a venture possible, and the nation's general population. Marquette remained calm throughout her speech and spoke in a steady voice, smiling frequently. She ended with:
Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you now of my own free will. I am almost finished, both talking and living. I will soon be gone, and you will have my lifeless body on this fabulous buffet. I hope that this will be the best meal any of you have ever eaten. I want everyone to know for certain that, even now, I have no regrets. I am fully prepared to make the long voyage into the unknown. Thank you for you attention; I love you all. (6)
A loud cheer rose from the audience, and "Tasty Kate" Marquette stepped back and disrobed with tears of joy in her eyes. The crowd grew silently respectful as she was handed an ornate dagger. She looked upward with closed eyes and a contented smile as she plunged the weapon into her own chest. Everyone gasped as this magnificent woman breathed her last. She was carried off on a satin stretcher to the kitchen. The crowd talked of nothing but the lady herself until dinner was served promptly at 6:00. It was the first taste of human flesh anyone present had enjoyed, and there were no complaints.
The inspiration of "Tasty Kate" Marquette led many a woman and more than a few men to sign up for comestible employment at Tasty Kate's. The restaurant was an instant success, and there were over 350 applicants for the 52 buffet entree positions in the first year. The massive popularity led in a little over a year to the addition of male buffet nights, later to daily buffets, and eventually to the magnificent establishment Tasty Kate's has become today. The world owes an unspeakable debt to the courage and strong-will of Katherine Marquette. Her influence has made the nation and the world a better place to live. May her memory never fade.
1 Howard M. Klomparens, Tasty Kate's: the First 50 years (Philadelphia: Tasty Kate's Press, 229 NCY), pp. 27-33.
2 Heinrich H. Heinzle, Tasty Kate Marquette: The Early Years (Philadelphia: Tasty Kate's Press, 205 NCY), p.126.
3 Alastair J. Allendale, The Lives and Deaths of 20 Famous Martyrs: Reflections of Friends and Family (New York: Simon, Schuster, and Smith, 199 NCY), p.95.
4 Simon K.Potter, Katherine Marquette: A Life Exquisite and a Death Chosen (Philadelphia: Tasty Kate's Press, 219 NCY), p.567.
5 Theodore Hammond, "'Tasty Kate' Marquette: The Woman Who Would Become a Meal," New York Times-Spectator, 9 June 179 NCY, Section A, p.1, col.1-3.
6 Lawrence Underwood, In the Beginning: the Complete Guide to Tasty Kate's Grand Opening Festivities (Philadelphia: Tasty Kate's Press, 179 NCY), p. 403.