Posted by Sawney Beane on October 18, 2006 at 22:03:47:
The Collected Works of Sawney Beane: Volume #88
AN IRRESISTIBLE WOMAN
by Sawney Beane
23 March, 20 April 2002
2,747 words
DISTRIBUTION NOTICE and DISCLAIMER: Sawney Beane requests that any distribution of this work of fiction remain within the realm of social responsibility. This story is suitable neither for minors nor for the seeming majority of adults who have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality. It is pure fantasy, which means that, for whatever reason, someone has found it interesting to think about the events depicted herein. It does not in any way mean that the author would like to see this fantasy become reality, so if you are the type of person who might be swayed into doing something irrational by reading a work of fiction, the author respectfully requests that you decline to read further.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sawney Beane, originally a native of Edinburgh, lived for twenty-five years in a cave on the coast of County Galloway, subsisting on the flesh of unfortunate travellers, roughly a thousand of them all told. He and his wife raised a large family of eight sons, six daughters, eighteen grandsons, and fourteen granddaughters. Eventually, the family was captured, and the whole lot was brutally and unjustifiably tortured and executed without trial. Since his death in the early 17th century, Beane has reformed his ways and now confines his atrocities to his literary endeavours.
WARNING: This story contains scenes of consensual snuff and implied gyno/androphagia. If you find such things offensive, please steer clear; you have been warned.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Another Tasty Kate's story. Probably predictable, but it's sort of cute anyway.
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NCY 228
Jack was a guide at Tasty Kate's. It was his job to lead a woman from her room in the residential section of the restaurant building and guide her through a long series of stages that eventually ended up with her in an oven. He took great pride in his job, and everyone knew he was the best in the business.
The job was an odd combination of gigolo, psychologist, and maitre d'. In the evenings over beers in the local bars, he would share stories with the other male guides and the stunningly attractive women who performed a similar job with the male entrees on the opposite side of the building. It was a good life. All entrees at Tasty Kate's were there voluntarily, so there was no need for him to feel any guilt.
When he picked up Jill early Monday morning at her room on the 35th floor of the Tasty Kate's tower, she seemed just another one of the more than fifteen hundred women he had guided in his nearly six years on the job. Perhaps she was just a shade more attractive than the others, but then again every woman was more attractive than her predecessors. It was Jack's job to believe that and to make her believe that as well.
Jill was tall, falling short of Jack's six feet by a mere two inches or so. Her lightly tanned body was curvaceous without being fat. A mane of shoulder-length brown hair with just a hint of redness complimented her brown eyes and delicate face. Every bit of her looked tender and succulent. The McGill party would dine well tonight.
Jill smiled broadly at Jack as he introduced himself and explained his function. Although all the entrees were volunteers, it was difficult to predict how a woman would feel the day Jack came to pick her up. Jill's initial reaction appeared fairly positive, so he looked forward to a relatively easy day at work.
Jack and Jill rode the lift down to the sixth floor preparation rooms. It was 8:00 am, and Jill's date with the oven was for 1:00 pm, so they had plenty of time. Jack was responsible for preparing her both physically and mentally. The mental part began first.
The first preparation room was a small room with a red sofa on one side and a small bed on the other. There was an attached bathroom. Although it was luxuriously decorated, the room had the layout of a cheap hotel room as well as the purpose of the same. The couple sat down on the sofa and began a conversation.
The beginning was always the most difficult. He had to establish rapport with his charge very quickly or the day would be wretched. There was also the matter of the bed. It was his duty to sexually satisfy his client if she so desired, and very few turned down this opportunity for a last fling with a tall muscular man in his mid-twenties with well-behaved blonde hair and a piercing but tender gaze. However, getting started was always a bit awkward.
Jack had established many effective techniques for doing his job, but Jill made things easy for him. She started by removing her blue dress and folding it neatly and placing it in the plastic storage box that would eventually have to contain all of her worldly possessions before the couple exited this room. She then sat down on the sofa next to Jack in only her skimpy white silk bra and panties. She relieved herself of these in short order. He had seen this kind on confidence only a few times in the past, but he was always glad to see it.
"You're good-looking but a bit overdressed," she purred.
Jack responded by unbuttoning his shirt and placing it over the arm of the sofa. She slithered over onto her back with her head on his lap looking up at him. She seemed surprised to see his completely hairless chest and arms.
"What happened to you?" she said, but the soft caresses of her hands running all over his upper body made it seem less rude.
"Comes with the job; you'll see about that later." She understood.
Then she rolled over and examined his zipper minutely before sliding it down and unbuttoning his pants. He helped her slip him out of the pants as well as his shoes, socks, and underwear, thus freeing his attentive penis. He often used erection drugs in order to ensure adequate performance, but he didn't need anything right now. He was nude and this girl he was guiding was starting to look like she was guiding him. That was a good thing but very rare.
Jill examined his smooth hairless genitals and ran her soft hands over them, but she didn't ask the question again as she knew the answer. Then she rolled suddenly over and slithered to the floor, landing on her back awaiting his approach. He didn't make her wait long before he gracefully slid onto her tense body and entered her effortlessly. Their sex was long noisy and surprisingly violent. It was often the case that the women Jack guided approached this final sexual encounter with a sense of reckless abandon. It was, after all, final.
Jill excelled in this as in all else. Her passionate screams reverberated off the soundproofed walls and pierced Jack's skull. Her razor-sharp fingernails dug painfully into his shoulders, but he had to endure it stoically.
Jack's job tended to make him jaded towards sex, but this was one experience he genuinely enjoyed, despite the trickle of blood down his back when they were done. Jill breathlessly thanked him. She took only a few minutes to relax and catch her breath before she was up and on her way to the bathroom. Jack followed the one he was supposed to be leading.
The bathroom was almost as large as the bedroom, and it was stocked with some special equipment. It took a lot to clean a human body inside and out, but Jack was an expert. Jill followed his directions without complaints, but she was unwilling to try any of the unusual devices before he had demonstrated them by trying them out on himself. He hadn't seen this approach before, but it was his duty to do whatever it took to get her to go along, so wherever it was physiologically possible he complied with her whims. They spent quite a long time in the bathroom and were slightly behind schedule when they exited through a back door.
The next room was circular and was occupied by something resembling a large hot tub in its centre. The tub was filled almost to the rim with a slightly foul smelling liquid. Jack helped Jill stuff her hair into a special shower cap and then did the same for himself. It was easiest to go into the depilatory fluid with his woman. This was why his body was completely hairless, probably the worst thing about his job. Before climbing in, Jack snipped off most of her pubic hair with a small pair of scissors and stored it in a small plastic bag. Some of the customers liked to keep souvenirs.
Jack and Jill climbed into the tub, being careful not to splash the liquid onto their hair and face. Jill had to remain in the tub for five minutes. Jack rubbed her body with a soft sponge to aid in the liquid's effectiveness. Then they stepped out and stepped into the shower in the next room to wash off the viscous liquid.
Jill seemed fascinated by her smooth pubic mound. She rubbed her smooth body against his playfully. Jack didn't seem to mind. A few minutes later they were in a small tiled room with a sweet smell and spray-bottles of non-toxic perfume that Jack dusted Jill's sparkling-clean body with. This was more or less for show, but she was perfectly appetizing as they stepped through the door into the large kitchen filled with enormous stainless-steel behemoths.
Jill gasped a bit and betrayed the first hint of nervousness Jack had seen in her as she saw the ovens for the first time. Her life outside of the oven was entering its last hour. She recovered quickly, however, and did not protest as Jack led her over to a steel table and placed her on top of it. He coated her soft skin with butter, massaging it into her body amid her excited purring. Jill felt compelled to reciprocate and would not proceed before Jack matched her in shiny slipperiness.
The next stop was the spice rack. It wasn't really so much a rack as it was a large steel trough about ten feet long and five feet wide. Jack lifted Jill up into it and, at her insistence, climbed in after him. He rolled her around in the special spice mixture that would perfectly complement her feminine flavour. Jill seemed to delight in rubbing the spice into Jack's skin, and by the time it was done, he was as perfectly coated as she was. Messy, but he had to admit it was entertaining.
They climbed out of the spice and walked across the kitchen to Oven #7. Jack admired Jill's glistening smooth body and its gritty coating of herbs and spices. He felt a bit self-conscious about the fact that he was similarly prepared, but he found the whole thing intensely erotic.
Jack introduced Jill to the busy chef who completed his duties with a man assigned to Oven #5 and then came over to attend to Jill's roasting. She smiled prettily at him, and the chef was polite but less than single-mindedly attentive. He did take a minute to chat amicably with Jack.
The chef and his assistants pulled open the oven door and placed a large steel tray on the roller bearings mounted on the oven door. They added a bit of water that would eventually form a delicious girl broth when Jill's juices seeped into it during the cooking process. The chef directed her to climb into the tray, and, although the searing heat of the pre-warmed oven made her wince, she complied without hesitation.
"What do I do?" she asked the chef.
"Just try to relax. It won't take very long before you're a delicious feast. The heat will make you feel tired and sleepy, so just let yourself drift off. We'll get you in an hour or so. Your body will be loosened up by then, and we'll arrange you in a pleasing position, so you don't really have to worry about anything. You'll be perfect; I guarantee it." It was a well-practiced speech.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it," replied the chef. "It's my pleasure to serve you." Chef humour never was very good.
As the chef stepped back, Jack started the last phase of his day's work. "Jill, are you ready for them to slide you in?"
"Almost," she replied dreamily.
"I've really enjoyed the time we spent together today. I am sure you'll be the best feast any of your customers every tasted."
She smiled at the flattery. He had to say something like this every time, whether he meant it or not, but today he really felt his words. He would miss this one; few of his women were as easy to guide.
"It's time now, Jill," he said gently.
"OK," she replied then hesitated and then purred coyly, "But, Jack, aren't you coming with me?"
Jack stared astonished at his gorgeous meal-to-be in the steel tray. She, of course, was aware that his duties ended at the oven door. Her innocence was purely an act. Still, he was strangely affected by her inquiry. Suddenly, many of her eccentricities made sense, and perhaps her deliberate preparations of him throughout the day should have tipped him off, but still it was an unheard of occurrence.
It really wasn't so easy to dismiss as one might assume. For one thing, how does one brush off a request from a girl on her back in a baking dish about to be exposed to scorching heat? His job was to make her departure pleasant and rejection could jeopardize her serenity.
But much more powerful was the fact that, truth be told, the idea did appeal to him. It is a fact that almost all of the guides harboured fantasies of being consumed. It would be very difficult to lead so many people to their deaths if you didn't feel a strong sense of empathy with the desires that had led them to the ovens. Chefs were more often either sadists or artists or both, but the guides were in fact meals who for one reason or another hadn't taken the plunge.
It was not, in fact, unheard of for guides to take their turn in the oven. Jack himself had been the guide for one of the most illustrious former female guides when she had thrown in the towel and allowed herself to be spit-roasted for a university graduation party. Jack knew of two or three other colleagues who had faced the flames. But to be invited along by the woman he was guiding was entirely new.
Jack smiled faintly at her request but did not reply. The chef's assistant began to push the tray into the oven, but Jack ordered him to wait a minute more. Jack then stepped to the phone on the wall nearby and dialled an internal number. "Mary, hi, this is Jack. Yeah, I'm fine; thanks. Listen, could you do me a favour? Please have the McGill banquet moved to a larger room. I think banquet hall number 3 is available. Also, call Mr. McGill and tell him his party can invite their wives and girlfriends to dinner for no additional charge. No, it's OK, I'll be responsible; just do this for me and I'll be eternally grateful. Yeah, you too. Thanks." Jack wasn't actually authorized to do this, but, then again, who would argue with him.
Jill's meek expression slowly changed to a broad smile as she listened to this telephone conversation, and she nearly squealed for joy as Jack climbed the steps and slid himself into the pan next to her.
The chef began to protest loudly, but Jack turned to him and said, "Don't worry, Mel, it's OK. Just make us especially good. Goodbye."
Mel seemed shocked but stopped complaining and ordered his assistants to slide the tray into the oven. As Jack and Jill disappeared from view, he called after them, "Jack, you crazy son of a bitch, you're going to get me in big trouble for this! But I'll do my best to make your foul carcass taste good."
Jack smiled as the oven door slammed shut with a grotesque finality. There would be no turning back. The heat was overpowering, and Jill hugged her body tightly against his. He wondered how anyone could endure this alone.
When the chef's assistant peered through the glass of the oven door fifteen minutes into the roasting, he saw a slightly browned rump moving rhythmically. He couldn't see much else, but it was obvious that Jill's final intercourse that morning hadn't been so final after all.
When the chef checked the oven half an hour later, both Jack and Jill were motionless. They lay on their sides in a tight embrace. Jack's penis was still buried within her womanhood. Jack had apparently snuck one of his erection pills in order to maintain this surprising endurance.
The chef pulled the pan out of the oven as promised after they'd been in for an hour. He basted their lifeless bodies thoroughly to preserve their tenderness, but made only minor adjustments to their position. They had somehow assumed a naturally delectable arrangement on their own.
It took at least three more hours for the roast to be completed, but when done the finished product was enough to make even the jaded chef beam with pride.
The McGill party thoroughly enjoyed their unexpected windfall. The wives were especially happy since they had not expected to enjoy such a fancy feast this evening.
The Tasty Kate's management took a lenient view and forgave Jack for the unauthorized addition to the McGill meal and took no disciplinary action against Mel the chef or his assistants.
The talk that evening at the bar was focused on Jack and his irresistible woman.