Posted by Sawney Beane on July 16, 2006 at 02:07:18:
The Collected Works of Sawney Beane: Volume #40
EATING ON A BUDGET
by Sawney Beane
17,19 July; 3 August; 28 September; 3, 28 October; 10 November 1996
4,232 words
DISTRIBUTION NOTICE and DISCLAIMER: Sawney Beane requests that any distribution of this work of fiction remain within the realm of social responsibility. This story is suitable neither for minors nor for the seeming majority of adults who have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality. It is pure fantasy, which means that, for whatever reason, someone has found it interesting to think about the events depicted herein. It does not in any way mean that the author would like to see this fantasy become reality, so if you are the type of person who might be swayed into doing something irrational by reading a work of fiction, the author respectfully requests that you decline to read further.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sawney Beane, originally a native of Edinburgh, lived for twenty-five years in a cave on the coast of County Galloway, subsisting on the flesh of unfortunate travellers, roughly a thousand of them all told. He and his wife raised a large family of eight sons, six daughters, eighteen grandsons, and fourteen granddaughters. Eventually, the family was captured, and the whole lot was brutally and unjustifiably tortured and executed without trial. Since his death in the early 17th century, Beane has reformed his ways and now confines his atrocities to his literary endeavours.
WARNING: This story contains scenes of consensual snuff and gynophagia. If you find such things offensive, please steer clear; you have been warned.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a homey look at a typical middle class family enjoying a good meal that is a bit beyond their price range. There's not much else to say about it.
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James smiled as his wife entered their suburban kitchen carrying a single sack of groceries. "Didn't get us much this week, did you, honey?"
Mrs. Finnigan beamed at her loving husband. "Sure I did. Meghan is bringing the rest in."
A flash of distressed realization shot through Mr. Finnigan's brain. "Oh, God, Joyce, you didn't!"
The wife smiled proudly at her husband, who collapsed at the kitchen table in despair. "Darling, you know we're on a tight budget. I've told you not to splurge on such extravagance; why can't you listen to me?"
"But, honey, she was so adorable, I simply couldn't pass her by!" She seemed genuinely confused that her husband was not delighted with her.
The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of a young woman in a long white dress. She carried two large grocery bags stuffed with food and laid them down gently on the table. Then she stood silently near the door awaiting further instructions.
Mr. Finnigan's jaw dropped. He moaned, "Damn, Joyce, how much did you pay for that one?"
"Don't worry, darling, she was a bargain, only a little bit more expensive than the last one."
"I had to work overtime every day for three months to pay for the last one," James moaned disconsolately.
The girl in the white dress politely pretended not to listen to the conversation of her new masters, even though she was the subject of discussion. She was truly a stunning sight to behold. The long sleeves and long skirts of her dress concealed almost all of her skin below the neck, but the thin white fabric could not conceal the fine curves of her petite figure. The face itself was enough of a treat. Sharp blue eyes stared innocently out between dark lashes and bracketed a small round nose, which trailed down toward a pair of red lips framing a perfect set of teeth in a beautiful smile. Rosy cheeks, a cute chin, and a smooth slender neck added to the effect, and the whole countenance was framed in a cascade of long golden-blonde hair. James could scarcely image how much she was going to set him back and began to try to recall the returns policy at the market.
"But we simply can't afford this!" cried Mr. Finnigan desperately.
"But, darling, we have so much to celebrate with your promotion, Kathy's graduation, Arthur's making the rugby team, and my record month of bargain hunting!"
"Unfortunately, I didn't get a pay rise to go along with my promotion."
"Lighten up, James, you only live once!"
"She is gorgeous," Mr. Finnigan finally conceded. "How much did you pay?" he sighed.
Mrs. Finnigan named a figure, which made James Finnigan wince. On further reflection, he said, "We can't afford it by any means, but that is very cheap for a girl like that."
"It's the model year close-out sale, darling," said Joyce Finnigan with a self-contented smile.
James sighed with the realization that this eliminated the possibility of a refund. The girl was theirs to keep, so he'd better make the best of it. He could reform his spendthrift spouse at a later date. He and his wife were silent for a few moments as each pondered how to proceed.
The girl in the white dress claimed the pause as an opportunity to speak. "I beg your pardon, Sir and Madam, but could I perhaps ask what your plans are?"
Mrs. Finnigan seemed annoyed at the interruption and replied simply, "Day after tomorrow, Sunday dinner."
The girl smiled pleasantly, "Very good, Madam, and what is your pleasure in the meantime?"
"Jim, do you want to show her to her room?" asked Mrs. Finnigan, "It might give you a chance to work off all your worries, and dinner won't be for at least two hours."
Mr. Finnigan sighed resignedly, "Well, I might as well not waste the opportunity." He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and led Meghan out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
James Finnigan and the docile guest arrived at the spare bedroom and entered. "Well, here's your new home," said Mr. Finnigan in a forcedly merry voice.
"It is very nice, Sir, I shall be quite contented."
"You can call me James."
"Excuse me, sir?" This was not at all the treatment she was trained to expect.
"James."
"Yes, James." Meghan stepped demurely over to the double bed and carefully folded back the covers. Then she stood and removed her dress, while James watched her emotionlessly. The dress was designed to be easily shed in one or two fluid motions, and she wore no underwear. The nude girl reclined her fabulous body on the edge of the bed and looked up at James expectantly.
The promising figure James had seen through the dress was even more perfect unclothed, and he even started to think that his wife had made quite a bargain. But the thought passed quickly. Still, she was quite a catch.
As James made no move for several moments, the girl spoke up, "How can I please you, James?"
James drew a blank; there were so many wonderful possibilities. "Whatever you would enjoy most, is fine with me, Meghan."
Meghan was taken aback by this generosity and did not know what to say. "I am here to please you, sir."
"Yes, and it would please me to make you happy, so what will it be?"
Meghan could not respond fully in words but said "Well, I've always wanted...uh...you know?" At the same time, she spread her legs slightly and placed one hand over her genitals and the other near her mouth. James understood and smiled.
The host approached the foot of the bed and lowered his lips to the soft, moist flesh just below the girl's thin patch of blonde pubic hair. He started with a gentle kiss, which sent a thrill up Meghan's spine. Then, to her great delight, he touched his tongue to the outer edge of her womanhood. After that, he really got started. James slipped one arm under each of Meghan's silken thighs and grasped her smooth shoulders while dragging his tongue back and forth across her labia. Meghan squealed in delight as the tongue forsook the edge and plunged itself deep within her vagina. James tired of that after several minutes and began nibbling at her bulging clitoris, while rubbing gentle circles around each of her nipples with his index fingers. Meghan trembled with sensual pleasure, and James responded by sucking on her genitals so hard that he could feel the labia and clitoris pulling up toward his teeth. Meghan felt as if she would implode and explode at the same time. She was panting when he released her.
James paused to strip off his clothing and then slid up on top of her sweating body. His erect penis entered the dripping vagina effortlessly and they clasped each other in a tight embrace while pumping in and out for fifteen minutes. Meghan moaned and howled the entire time, and James did not think it sounded faked. He'd heard women fake before; then again, Meghan was specially trained. In any case, both participants were panting when they separated.
Several minutes later, Meghan remembered her place. "Do I please you, James?"
"Immensely, my dear."
James and Meghan rested in each other's arms until Joyce called them down to dinner. James reluctantly stood up and got dressed. Meghan looked at him questioningly. James said, "Yes, you should dress for dinner; we have children in the house."
James and Meghan walked down the stairs hand in hand to partake of Joyce's excellent beef stew. When they arrived, Kathy and Arthur were already present at table. Joyce directed Meghan to sit next to Kathy on one side of the table, and Arthur sat on the other side, while the parents occupied the end seats.
Throughout the meal, the close proximity of Meghan to his daughter, made James uncomfortable. The former, at twenty-one years of age, was only three years older than Kathy, and the superficial similarity was unsettling to a father. Meanwhile, seventeen-year-old Arthur spent the entire meal staring at the gorgeous guest. For her part, Kathy spoke to the slightly bewildered Meghan as if she were her new best friend.
"Meghan will be our guest until Sunday evening," said Mrs. Finnigan to her children, "and I hope you will make her feel right at home."
"Don't worry, Mom," said young Arthur with a leer, "we'll treat her nice."
After dinner, Mrs. Finnigan did not invite Meghan to join the family in front of the television set, so the guest gracefully retired to her room. She spent the evening reading a novel that someone had left lying around and mentally preparing herself for the demanding two days she had before her.
Around 10 o'clock, Meghan heard Mr. and Mrs. Finnigan going upstairs to bed, still debating the principles of sound household budgeting. The television was still on, so the kids must have been watching. At midnight, the telly was switched off, and Meghan heard approaching footsteps in the hall. She was just about ready to switch off the bedside lamp and sleep when she heard a faint knock at her door.
"Come in," she said in what she judged to be just loud enough for her visitor to hear but no louder.
The door swung open slowly and silently, and young Arthur stepped meekly into the room, closing the door behind him. "Can I talk to you?" he asked in a far from confident voice.
"Sure, what's on your mind?" replied Meghan with a friendly smile. This was not something she was trained for, but she was happy to talk to anyone this night.
"You are."
Meghan blushed and smiled coyly. "Why is that?" She knew where this was going.
"Actually, I don't know, but there's something that bothers me about you."
"What?"
"You're not doing what I want you to do."
"I'm sorry; what do you want me to do?"
"No, I mean, you're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen, but...." Arthur's timid voice trailed off.
"Thank you," Meghan said, blushing again. This Arthur was a nice kid.
"But why can't you keep being a gorgeous woman instead of a...." Arthur swallowed loudly rather than continuing his sentence.
"Oh...I see," said Meghan. Arthur was still standing awkwardly beside the door, and Meghan was on her back under a big blanket. She patted the bed next to her hip and said, "Come over here."
Arthur walked to the bed and sat demurely next to Meghan's ankles. "Why do you want to do this?" Arthur asked in anguished tones.
"I doubt I could explain it," said Meghan with a sigh, "but it's really a good thing."
"Try to explain it anyway."
"Well, it's just that I've never really expected anything more out of life than this. On the farm where I grew up, we were taught from earliest childhood that that's the way life is. You grow, learn, play, and perhaps reproduce for twenty years or so. Then you sacrifice your body and move on. The idea of living to be thirty is as inconceivable to me as living to be a thousand is to you."
"But aren't you offended that you were brainwashed this way?"
"I don't know; was I brainwashed? Is this way necessarily wrong? We live different lives, but I doubt you are much happier with your prospects than I am. Everything in my life has been designed to prepare me for this weekend, and I'm going to play my part as well as I possibly can. I'm satisfied with that, and I wouldn't know how to go on living if I didn't always have the certainty of this event in my future. There's nothing solid for you to hold on to. You don't know where you will be next week or next year or ten years from now, but all my life I've always known where I would be now. It's a good feeling; and, to be honest, I pity you a little bit."
"But..."
"Look, my parents and grandparents were all domesticated. You have to go back to my great grandparents to find a wild-born member of my family. I'm proud to be able to follow my family tradition, and I'm proud that my children will carry on after me."
"You have children?"
"Yes, three of them. I was first mated three years ago, and I have two sons and a beautiful daughter. They will grow up to be an honour to my family."
"They sound delicious," Arthur said with a bitter laugh.
"I hope so," replied Meghan seriously but with a tolerant smile.
"I should probably go," said Arthur, standing and leaning toward the door.
"No," said Meghan, "You can stay as long as you want to." There was real feeling behind this statement. No doubt she was lonely in her new surroundings.
"OK," Arthur smiled, "I'll stay and talk." But that is not what happened, because at this moment, Meghan, who up to this point had been on her back in bed under a big blanket, decided she was a bit too hot and flung the bedspread aside. Arthur inhaled very sharply as his companion's gorgeous body was fully revealed. Somehow he had never imagined that she was naked beneath her blanket. It probably wasn't any stratagem on Meghan's part; she was innocently unaware that the action would affect him at all.
Then Arthur did something that was very atypical for the shy teenager that he was. He leaned over and kissed Meghan gently on the lips. It was meant to be a short peck, but Meghan returned the kiss, and their lips seemed unwilling to part. By the time that kiss was over, Arthur was on his side in bed next to Meghan's long nude body, their limbs entwined with one another. Arthur was aware that only the thin linen of his pajamas stood between him and paradise.
Meghan whispered with a silky voice in Arthur's ear, "You can do anything you want with me tonight, but you must promise me one thing."
"Hm...what's that?"
"You must not fall in love with me or become too attached to me, because I will leave you on Sunday, and I'll never come back. You must not get too emotional."
Arthur smiled sheepishly and said, "I'll try." The pair slid into another prolonged kiss, and Arthur couldn't remember being happier.
Joyce Finnigan was awakened by a rhythmic creaking sound somewhere in the house, and she shook her husband to consciousness. "James! What's that noise?"
James Finnigan blinked his eyes for a moment and listened intently before smiling slyly and replying. "I think the fox has found the keys to the henhouse."
"Whatever are you talking about, James?" replied Mrs. Finnigan in great distress.
"Your son is the fox."
"You mean he...?"
"Yep." James Finnigan sounded almost proud and was clearly entertained by the situation.
"That hussy!" shrieked Mrs. Finnigan. "I'll kill her!"
Mr. Finnigan smiled. "I bet you will, but it's not her fault. Did you tell her not to obey Arthur?"
"No, but..."
"You know that she is under orders to obey any instruction from any member of this household unless you or I specifically tell her not to."
"I know, but..."
"Don't blame the boy either, Joyce. It's natural for him, and it's good for him. It'll build up his confidence."
"But you've got to go stop them! My Arthur shouldn't be giving up his virginity to a common kitchen slave like her!"
"I'll do no such thing. You're assuming he was a virgin before tonight? Don't you think it's too late anyway? Besides, it surely must not count when you do it with a kitchen slave. You didn't call it adultery when I fucked her."
Joyce was somewhat placated but still disturbed. "You're right, I suppose, but I'm going to ground that boy for a year!"
"No you won't! In fact, we're not even going to let either of them know that we heard them. You let them have their fun and concentrate on making your grand plans for Sunday dinner."
Mrs. Finnigan accepted this dictate reluctantly, and the couple drifted off to sleep just as the noise from below ceased.
Saturday was a day of plans and preparations. Mrs. Finnigan consulted with Meghan about the dinner arrangements and invited the guests. Meghan also spent a great deal of time in the kitchen. Arthur sulked, and Mr. Finnigan tried to stay out of the way. Kathy stayed in the way but did her best to help out. Everything was on track by eight at night, and Meghan retired to her room with a feeling of satisfaction. Arthur snuck into her room after his parents had retired for the evening. He made love to Meghan again, which she enjoyed immensely. However, she could easily tell that her departure the following day was going to be difficult for him, and the realization pained her. Again Mrs. Finnigan heard the creaking and was ready to stop it but was restrained by Mr. Finnigan, who took the opportunity to distract her with a lecture in economics.
Sunday morning was when the real action was to take place. The family gathered in the kitchen at 8:00 am to see Meghan off. She had been awake for three hours and had already spent over an hour in the kitchen and another hour in the bathtub. She was ready and eager to get on with things.
"OK, everyone," announced Meghan when everyone was gathered, "I'll walk you through this as much as I can, but keep in mind that I might expire at any time. The book next to the stove contains the step-by-step instructions that you will have to follow. It's very easy to understand, and I recommend that someone use it to keep track while I'm still here, so that you can make the transition easily."
Kathy picked up the book and read the instructions to herself as Meghan lifted her nude body onto the previously cleared long central counter. Arthur removed her sandals as per her instructions.
"I've taken the liberty of injecting myself with the anaesthetic, so I should be going numb from the chest down in a few minutes. By the way, the preparation kit you have is an excellent brand. It's the kind of kit that a person is honoured to be snuffed with. I'll be ready in a minute, so, Mr. Finnigan, if you would just take out tool number one."
James Finnigan slipped the shiny steel scalpel from the ebony case and held it ready for use. His hands did not shake. Mrs. Finnigan's profligacy was making this a common experience for him.
"OK, Mr. Finnigan, I've drawn a line on my belly for you to follow. Please start at the top, which is just at the tip of my breastbone. Your scalpel has a stop-plate to keep you from sticking it in too far, so cut as deeply as it allows you to. Move down slowly but firmly, and try to stay in the centre, except you can take a slight detour around my navel. The incision should end at about the top of my pelvis. Go ahead when you're ready."
Meghan reclined on her back and watched carefully as Mr. Finnigan slid the steel into her flesh. The skin and muscle offered little resistance to the ultra-sharp blade, as James effortlessly transformed the thin black magic marker trail into a narrow red gash. Meghan gave him a congratulatory smile as he finished up, and Arthur ran from the room with tears in his eyes. Meghan knew that she probably would not see her young lover again, but he would see her in all her gory glory.
"Excellent, excellent. All right, Mr. Finnigan, please insert your fingers and pull the two sides apart slightly. Make sure you have the layers of skin, fat, and muscle all together. Don't rip them apart. You can use the gloves if you wish."
Mr. Finnigan pushed his bare hand into Meghan's belly and, with an expert motion, converted the red gash into a ten centimetre wide chasm. Meghan's gurgling organs were clearly visible, and Kathy peered in curiously.
"I can tell you've done this before, Mr. Finnigan. Now we have to get rid of the internal organs, so we'll have room for stuffing. First, we need to get out tool number two."
Kathy took the tool first, and Mr. Finnigan was more than happy to let her do the honours. Under Meghan's careful direction, Kathy guided the tip of the instrument a few centimetres into Meghan's anus and pressed the larger of two buttons. This caused a circular blade to circumcise the rectal wall. Then she pulled it out a bit, and the tube of flesh that had once been the lower end of Meghan's digestive tract was carried along. Kathy's pressing the second button caused a small plastic fastener to be attached to seal off the rectal tube, while the tool released itself from the flesh.
"Good job, Kathy. Now if we seal off the other end of my digestive tract, we can remove most of my guts. It's important that you don't rupture anything while we're doing this. My digestive tract is mostly empty, but it still contains bacteria that will contaminate me, and it's ever so embarrassing to give someone food poisoning!"
Meghan explained how to pull out the intestines, liver, pancreas, bowels, and kidneys, among other things. She gave advice on where to find major arteries and how to avoid rupturing them. When she was done explaining, Kathy set about cleaning out Meghan's abdominal cavity. Her father held the plastic tub into which organ after organ was placed. When almost everything below the diaphragm was out, Kathy used tool number three, which grasped the esophagus just below the diaphragm and attached two plastic tie seals and then severed the esophagus between them. With that, the stomach could be removed safely.
"Kathy, you're a natural at this. I should be pretty vacant down there, and I'm still here, so let's finish up quickly so I can live to see the oven. Next you have to stuff me. Pack it in fairly tight, but not so tight that it loses its consistency, and don't pack anything too tightly against my diaphragm."
Mrs. Finnigan brought over the tub of stuffing that Meghan had prepared the night before, and Mr. Finnigan and Kathy proceeded to stuff handfuls into Meghan's body.
"There will be some shrinkage during the roasting, so to make me look as natural as possible, you should stuff me enough that I'm just a little bit fatter than I was before."
James and his daughter followed these instructions until Meghan was looking a bit on the chubby side. Kathy followed Meghan's direction and sewed the incision back up using a heavy black twine. The tight rows of black stitches criss-crossing Meghan's belly betrayed Kathy's excellent grades in sewing class.
"OK, we're about done. Please bring over the cooking dish and roll me over onto my belly in it."
Mrs. Finnigan wheeled the cart carrying the dish over, and the three family members gently rolled Meghan over so that she rested on the bottom of the high-walled metal dish. Meghan crossed her arms under her chin so that her hands rested on opposite shoulders, and her elbows jutted out in front of her.
"All right, this is just about it. You've all done fabulously, and I thank you very much for your kindness. You'll find recipes for preparing my organs in the book Kathy has been reading. I recommend that you eat the liver raw, but you can cook it if you prefer. Be sure you clean out the digestive tract well. As for me, the oven is pre-heated. All you need to do is give me the apple and pop me in. Make sure you baste me every half hour. Thanks again, and enjoy your meal."
Kathy held the large red apple for Meghan to grasp between her jaws. Mr. and Mrs. Finnigan pushed the cart to the long, coffin-like oven that all families of real worth had. Kathy opened the door, and her parents placed the lid on the cooking dish. Then the trio slid Meghan and her dish into the oven for the long roasting period.
Meghan was long dead when time came for the first basting. She had probably only lived a few minutes in the scorching heat.
The Finnigans had several hours to prepare the internal organs and to cook the side dishes that Meghan had prepared the night before. There was even ample time to clean up before the guests began arriving at noon.
When all was said and done, the meal was a resounding success. The neighbours, relatives, and friends on the guest list all had great things to say about the Finnigans and their tastefulness. Everyone enjoyed every bite of Meghan's body. Even Arthur enjoyed the meal despite his every effort to the contrary. There were even leftovers to supply sandwiches to lunch boxes for weeks to come. The only real loser was Mr. Finnigan's wallet, and he knew that despite his lectures to his wife, Meghan would probably not be the last girl she'd bring home to dinner.