Posted by Sawney Beane on September 13, 2007 at 22:18:25:
The Collected Works of Sawney Beane: Volume #153
AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH
by Sawney Beane
8 September 2007
924 words
DISTRIBUTION NOTICE and DISCLAIMER: Sawney Beane requests that any distribution of this work of fiction remain within the realm of social responsibility. This story is suitable neither for minors nor for the seeming majority of adults who have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality. It is pure fantasy, which means that, for whatever reason, someone has found it interesting to think about the events depicted herein. It does not in any way mean that the author would like to see this fantasy become reality, so if you are the type of person who might be swayed into doing something irrational by reading a work of fiction, the author respectfully requests that you decline to read further.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sawney Beane, originally a native of Edinburgh, lived for twenty-five years in a cave on the coast of County Galloway, subsisting on the flesh of unfortunate travellers, roughly a thousand of them all told. He and his wife raised a large family of eight sons, six daughters, eighteen grandsons, and fourteen granddaughters. Eventually, the family was captured, and the whole lot was brutally and unjustifiably tortured and executed without trial. Since his death in the early 17th century, Beane has reformed his ways and now confines his atrocities to his literary endeavours.
WARNING: This story contains scenes of semi-consensual snuff and gynophagia. If you find such things offensive, please steer clear; you have been warned.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Sort of a quickie. One of those inspired by the opening line.
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"I can't believe," Nadia said with a heavy sigh, "that after all we've been through together, you're still going to cut my head off!"
"Yes, dear," Tony replied tiredly. "I'm sorry."
"You're not sorry," she snapped back. "If you were sorry, you wouldn't do it!"
"Would you please relax, Nadia?"
"No, I don't want to relax, Tony. I'll be mellow when I'm dead. Right now, I'm furious."
"You're not making this any easier."
"I'm sorry," she sneered. "I didn't realize that was my responsibility."
"Look, baby," he coaxed. "I need a brunette for my collection."
"So? Why can't you go to the store and buy one like we did all the others? Why do you need my head for your collection?"
"Well, for a while I was thinking I might be able to make do with another, but...."
"Hold on a minute. What do you mean 'for a while'? You mean to tell me you were planning this all along?"
"Yes, well, at first, but I thought after a while that I didn't want to let you go."
"So you're telling me that when you and I went down to the store five years ago and picked out that blonde to start your collection, you were planning on me being decapitated for your collection even then?"
"Er...yes...I was."
"Jesus!" She scanned the wall and looked over the four female heads mounted there and contemplated all of the memories they conjured up. And more importantly, she contemplated how all of those memories had suddenly taken on a subtle but significantly different shape.
On the left was a pretty blonde, the oldest of the collection and prepared by the least expensive and therefore least competent taxidermist. The smile was a bit artificial, and the eyes vacant. Although it was difficult to tell whether this was a result of the mounting or her natural live state. The happy couple had gone to the shop and picked her out together when Nadia had just turned twenty years old. She was young and in an exciting relationship with an older sexy man who loved her endlessly. She had been excited as she helped him choose the perfect blonde for the collection he wished to begin. She had never thought much about the selected girl's opinion about the whole matter, but the beautiful head had decorated the walls of their home for nearly five years, and the flesh of her body had been succulent and tender.
The other trophies, a redhead, an Asian, and a black, all beautiful and all happy shopping memories for Nadia stared back from their perfect mountings with natural expressions. Now Nadia was about to become one of them: a wall decoration and a banquet. Life sucked.
"Nadia, please understand."
"You're a real bastard, you know that?"
"Whatever you say. Look, I wanted to go get another one, but every time I imagined another brunette in my collection, it just didn't seem right. I can't think about anyone replacing you."
Nadia shot a fiery glance at him. "You think that flattery is going to make me ok with decapitation?"
"No, dear, it's just the truth."
"You are a bastard."
"Come on, dear, don't be angry."
"You think I can just stop being angry because you want me to?"
"No, I know, but it's just not right to die angry."
"What other way is there to die?"
"Hey, you want to go in the bedroom for a little while first?"
"Fuck off, you know I only give head once a day!"
"Yes, well, we probably don't have time anyway. I have a taxidermy appointment for you at five."
"Oh," Nadia looked at the clock and knew where she would be in two hours time. "Who are you taking me to?"
"Iggy's."
"Iggy's?" Nadia said contemplatively. "They do good work."
"I'll make sure they do excellent work," Tony replied. "With your quality, it shouldn't be hard."
"Thanks, baby, you're the best," Nadia replied with a sneer in her voice.
"Anything for my baby."
"Yeah, sure. And your baby's body?"
"You've got an appointment at the butcher's at seven."
"Who?"
"Sam's."
"Ah, he's very good. Hey, can you get his wife to prepare my rump with her special honey and pineapple recipe. I've heard it's to die for."
"I'll ask. Some of the guys are coming over for ham tomorrow evening. I want to have one of your thighs slow roasted."
"Yes, that's a great idea. I recommend the left. I think the right is a bit tense these days." The culinary turn of the discussion seemed to calm Nadia somewhat.
The couple spent fifteen more minutes discussing recipes and dinner plans. Then Tony had to get back to business. "So, I polished the axe and cleaned off the block for you. It's around back."
"Yes, sir, right away, sir." Nadia said mockingly as they walked together around the house.
"Don't be that way."
"Yes, sir."
"I don't want you to be angry with me."
"Something tells me I will calm down in a few minutes."
"Can you forgive me?"
"Let's just say I won't be angry anymore after you swing that axe of yours."
"Cute."
"Thanks, baby, I think you're cute too." Nadia smiled sarcastically as she knelt beside the block.
"Can you try to look natural. I want you to look good on the wall."
"Iggy can fix it afterwards. Just give him a picture of me from a time when you weren't about to cut my head off."
"Ok, goodbye, Nadia, I love you."
"Bye, Tony."