Posted by Ripper X on June 15, 1999 at 07:33:40:
"There were nights
when it took a dear more rum and water then his head could carry
And then he would sometimes sit and sing his wicked wild old sea songs minding nobody
But sometimes he would call for glasses of rum
and force his trembling company to listen to his stories, or bare chorus to his singing
Often I have hear the house shacking with "Yo Ho Ho, and Bottle Of Rum"
All the neighbors joining in for dear life
With the fear of death upon them
Each singing louder then the other to avoid remark
For in these fits
He was the most over-riding companion ever known
Who would slap his hand on the table for silence all around
Who would fly up in a passion of anger at a question
Or sometimes, because none was put and he judged the company was not following his story
Nor would he allow anyone to leave the Pub
Until he had drunk himself sleepy, and reeled off to bed
I remember his bright dark eyes and the pleasant manners, made with the coltish country folk
And above all with that filthy, heavy, bleared, scarecrow of a pirate
Sitting far gone on rum
Suddenly he
The Captain that is
Began to play God with his eternal soul!" . . .
Hah!
You call that a song.
Hah!
Well I'll give you a bleeding song.
EIGHTEEN MEN ON A DEAD MAN'S CHEST
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
DRINK AND THE DEVIL AND DONE FOR THE REST
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
THE MATE WAS FIXED BY THE BOSON'S PIKE
THE BOSON BANE, WITH THE MARLIN SPIKE
AND COOKIE'S THROAT WAS MARKED BLIGHT
IT HAD BEEN GRIPED BY FINGERS TEN
AND THERE THEY LAY ALL GOOD DEAD MEN
LAY BRINK ALL DAY IN A FROZEN CAN
AND YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
FIFTEEN MEN OF A HULL SHIPS LIST
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
DEAD AND BE DAMNED AND THE REST GONE WEST
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
THE SKIPPER LAY WITH HIS KNOB IN GULL,
WITH HIS SCALLION JACKED HIS CHEEK AT SHORE
AND HIS SCALLION HE WAS STABBED TIMES FOUR
AND THERE THEY LAY IN THE SOGGY STYE,
DRIPPED ALL DAY LONG WITH THEIR UP STARING EYES,
WITH WORDS UNSAID ON A FAILED SUNRISE
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
FIFTEEN MEN STIFF AND STARK
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
TEN OF THE CREW HAD THE MURDER MARK
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
WITH A CUTLAS SWIPE OR AN OUNCE OF LEAD
OR A YEARNING HOLE IN A BATTERED HEAD
AND THE SCOFFERS GLUT WITH A ROTTING RED
AND THERE THEY LAY, I DAMN ME EYES
ALL LOOKOUTS CLAPPED ON PARADISE
ALL SOULS BANED COUNTRY WIDE
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
FIFTEEN MEN ALL GOOD AND TRUE
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
ALL MEN CHECKED IN AN SAIL WITH ALL PEW
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
THERE WAS CHEST UPON CHEST WITH SPANISH GOLD
WITH A TON OF PLAIT IN THE MIDDLE HULL
AND THE CABINS RAID, OF A LOOT UNTOLD
AND THEY LAY THERE WITH THEIR SIGHTLESS GLARE AND THEIR LIPS STRUCK NUMB
WHILE WE SHARED ALL BY THE RULE OF THUMB
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
ALL WAS SEEN THROUGH THE STERN LITE SCREEN
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
I HAVE NO DOUBT WHEN A WOMAN AT BAY
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
ON FLIMSY SHIP WITH A BUNKERED COT
WITH A THINDERED SPOT THROUGH HER BOSOM SLOT
AND HER DID LACE DID DRY ON A PUBLISHED BLOCK
OR WAS SHE ONCE SOME SHOWERING MAID
THAT DARED THE KNIFE AND TOOK THE BLADE
BY GOD SHE WAS STUFFED FOR A BLOODY JADE
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
FIFTEEN MEN ON A DEAD MANS CHEST
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
DRINK AND THE DEVIL HAVE DONE FOR THE REST
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!
WE WRAPED THEM ALL IN A MANE SEWED TIGHT
WITH TWICE TEN TURNS OF A HAWSERS MIGHT
AND WE HEAVED THEM OVER AND OUT OF SITE
WITH A YO HEAVE HO AND FAIR YOU WELL
AND SOUTHERN SPLUNG AND A SOUTHERN SWELL
TEN THOUSAND DEEP TO THE BOTTOM OF HELL
YO HO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM.
Now there is a song ya bastards!
Ya ha ha ha!
Now let me tell ya about the time I had to chew off me own leg!
It was nice!
It was delicious!
HA HA HA HA HA!