Posted by Rache on July 30, 2001 at 04:49:44:
(m/f,gun,non-cons,sci-fi)
Ardent Bane!: Intergalactic Amazon Hunter
Episode 26 - The Monkey Girls of Sappho 4
Fiction by Rache
Hi, I'm Ardent Bane. If you haven't read my previous 25 installments of Intergalactic Amazon Hunter, don't panic! You're in for a real treat! The action is relentless and brutal and you can jump right! All you need, gentle reader, is a little luck, a few good weapons, and a whole lotta guts!
Let me give you some background about this mission, because it's a doozy! This planet we're in orbit around is Sappho 4, 4th planet of the Sappho System, yeah that's right. Home of the legendary Monkey Girls. No man who has ever and I do mean EVER! set foot on that planet has returned to tell his tale. The Monkey Girls of Sappho 4 are the single greatest threat to mankind that we've ever found in our reach to colonize the universe. Something has to be done and done right. That means someone has to go down there and eradicate the dreaded Monkey Girls of Sappho 4. Luckily, out of the literally millions of volunteers, only I - Ardent Bane! - was selected for this monumental undertaking. But I'm not going alone, no I'm bringing along my holocam which will transmit back to you, my faithful fans, live action from start to finish! Commercial free and uncensored - The way real men like it!
So lets go!
Hmmmm....Monkey Girls. Want a banana little girl? HAHAHA I crack myself up! But in all seriousness I need to make sure that everything is prepared. Believe me folks, you don't want to leave anything to chance on an assignment like this! The Monkey Girls have a techno-level of Earth about 2000 B.C. ...Stone knives and clubs. But don't underestimate those primitive weapons, in the hands of a highly trained killer (Like Me!) a stone knife is every bit as lethal as a 1.5Mw Pulse Rifle! But to keep it fair I'll equip myself with weapons of Earth around 1400A.D. ...Let's see a nice English longbow, a long sword of the finest Spanish steel...Oh my, isn't that beautiful? Look how the sunlight gleams off the metal - Honed to a razor's edge folks! And a carbon double-edged dagger, perfectly balanced for throwing. My target is a small village on one of the numerous small islands; only about 20 inhabitants so I'll bring 21 arrows, broad tipped and deadly! Hey - I might miss once!
Let me tell you about the Monkey Girls of Sappho 4. They are small, humanoid in appearance. About 5 feet tall, covered with a silky caramel colored fur from their heads, along their spines, to their tight round butts. This fur gets shorter as it moves away from their heads and ends in a long prehensile tail, hence the nickname "Monkey Girls". The hair on their heads is long and shimmers beautifully, luxuriant to touch and it exudes a smell which is loaded with a chemical pheromone which suggests these little beasties are constantly in a state of heat.
The front and sides of their bodies are smooth taut flesh, usually a lighter color skin than their fur. They have breasts which range from small and firm to large and firm. Saggy breasts have never been reported on a Monkey Girl of Sappho 4. They seem to lactate continuously and the milk from their breasts is a sweet wine-like liquid which is about 30% alcohol by volume. The genitalia of the Monkey Girls of Sappho 4 are lightly furred and very small. The surrounding tissue though is loaded with over 10,000 tiny muscles which enable the Monkey Girls of Sappho 4 to accommodate virtually any sized male organ with ease. They also have a thin membrane, similar to a hymen, which grows back over a period of 24 hours if it's broken. Amazing huh?
But don't let them fool you, the Monkey Girls of Sappho 4 really are beauty and the beast! So are you coming along? The road to adventure is this way!
We've beamed down to a part of the island which should be uninhabited, about 5Km from the village. It's a dense jungle here, I hope you guys are getting this at home. The trees are ancient and huge, the canopy roof is easily a hundred meters above my head. There are a lot of smaller plants, fauna and flora, it's quite beautiful. The air temperature is a steady 72.4 degrees F. and relative humidity is 28%. Nice day for a picnic! Well, we didn't come for that did we? I'm going to set up a camp here, I've brought remote sentries to secure my perimeter and we'll get those working first off. Remember people, you don't need any surprises on an alien and hostile planet!
Okay, as you can see I've got my camp set up. I've even brought my portable stockade, with any luck I'll be able to capture one or two alive and then we can see what those 10,000 muscles between their legs are good for! heh-heh! As many of the faithful 39 know, I do like to have a little fun with my prey. Getting hot and bloody gets me excited and I don't mind admitting a luke-warm body is every bit as good as a live one! It's getting kind of late in the day, so I think we'll rest here tonight and at dawn we'll do a little scouting, how does that sound. My next transmission will be in...6 hours, set your clocks friends you won't want to miss any of the action tomorrow morning!! Oh! And don't forget to leave the autopilots on your recorders, because you never know when something exciting is going to happen with Ardent Bane! I've set my holocam to start transmission the moment one of my sentries activates, I don't want you to miss the action!
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Commercial Break: For the next 6 hours we bring you: Ultimate Bass Fishing with Jed Grout! Get your poles ready friends cause this week he's on that great bass fishing planet.....ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ
We interrupt Ultimate Bass Fishing to go straight to Ardent Bane! on Sappho 4...
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Can you hear me? This is Ardent Bane! on Sappho 4...I'm whispering because my perimeter sentry went off, its silent alarm triggering a chemical response in my brain and waking me instantly with 500cc of pure adrenalin in my buttocks! Somewhere, off to my left is an intruder, it has to be one of the legendary Monkey Girls of Sappho 4! I won't be able to narrate anymore, I need to use all of my impressive skills to swiftly and silently deal with this new threat. But stay tuned folks, you'll see all the action, I promise!
Okay, I've managed to get behind the Monkey Girl. It looks like she was out foraging and is unaware of my camp just a few hundred meters to the left. Interesting, nocturnal creatures? My information didn't say anything about that, well, that's why they picked us folks. because of my unique skills and ability to adapt to new and difficult situations. Stick with me and let's bag us a Monkey Girl, huh?
I'm turning on my universal translator. I'm going to try and take this first one alive, a little intel never hurt! I'm about 8 feet behind her, it doesn't appear that she's armed. I know I'm whispering pretty soft, but believe me, in a second I won't be. I'm leaving the holocam here so you can watch me in action, don't forget friends: Don't try this at home!
Ardent Bane! crept out of the bushes, moving silently on cat-like feet. He just need to get close enough to bring the flat of his sword down with a quick blow to the Monkey Girl's head. he could see that the creature was incredibly beautiful, a silky mane of light brown hair cascaded across her back. He caught her face in profile and it was wonderful to behold. The moniker Monkey Girl was horribly inaccurate! Her tail twitched slightly, left to right and back again. Ardent could hear her humming softly as she picked splendid red berries from a nearby bush. He could feel himself becoming aroused, oh yes! The first one is always the best, he would teach her a thing or two before this night was over he thought with a smile.
Ardent turned around and gave the camera a little smile. One for the kids he thought. He only needed two more steps and then he would have her. Suddenly *Crack* he stepped on a fallen branch and the loud crack was like a gunshot in the calm quiet night. Ardent cursed and lunged forward with his blade, all thoughts of capture gone now, he needed to kill this creature before she could sound the alarm!
The Monkey Girl leaped back and Ardent's thrusting sword point only just barely missed. She was far more agile than any creature he'd hunted before he realized, too late. She was about 6 feet away and pointing something...Ardent squinted, it was...it was an UZI submachine gun!! What the hell? Ardent said to himself just as the beautiful Monkey Girl depressed the trigger.
In less than three seconds ten 9mm bullets had stitched their way from Ardent's crotch to his collar. Blood spattered in a chilling staccato of death. The gorgeous Monkey Girl walked over to Ardent Bane! and kicked his sword away from his hand, he wouldn't have been able to use it anyway. Blood bubbled out of the wounds to his lungs and he coughed weakly, spilling blood from his mouth. Oh no, he thought, it wasn't 2000B.C. ... It was 2000 A.D. ... He looked up at the Amazon Monkey Girl of Sappho 4 and pleaded with his eyes, staring into her soft, almond shaped orbs of green flecked with gold. She was so beautiful, he thought, maybe she would understand and help him. His medical pack could fix him up, anything short of death was treatable, if only...
The Monkey Girl looked down at Ardent Bane! Her lips moved. The universal translator told Ardent and his viewers what she said: "Asshole!" and then she pumped another three second burst into his face.
the end
rache18us@hotmail.com