Posted by PK on February 03, 2002 at 17:54:06:
I know, it's been quite a while since I've updated my site. What can I say?
Sometimes life intrudes. I wish that I had a really good excuse, like I'm getting
married, or I'm pregnant (congratulations, Annette) but I'm not. Oh, I had a steady
relationship going there for a while, but I had to cut it off when he stopped stocking
the chocolate chip cookie dough wand went back to Cherry Garcia. (ick!)
So what HAVE I been doing in the mean time? Work, mostly. Family stuff, a lot.
Depression, a little more than I'd like. The usual. But I've gotten a new program
(new to me). Yes I've joined the horde of Poser people. I haven't mastered it by any
stretch of the imagination, but I'm having fun with it. So my latest cartoon is a Poser
image. I hope that you'll bare with me.
One thing I've always noticed about Poser images is that they always take a long
time to load. Now with my notoriously slow web host this could be a real drag. I'm
hoping that I have optimized the image enough to limit you down time. I've also
broken it into mini images so that they might process quicker.
Please let me know what you think. As always, your kind praise and constructive
criticism is greatly appreciated. Quiet appreciation does nothing for me. Non
constructive, slanderous, or rude comments tend to bring me down, but don't ruin
my day.
Oh, and special thanks once again to PK for being such an inspiration.
luv,
Carrie
Hi Carrie
"Drat, the tubes are all full! Oh well, never mind. Wake up, sweetie, I'll just have to eat you
now!"
Pretty feeble, but it's a start. Actually, it was Albert's idea. He thought he looked a bit lean in
the picture which pleased him at first as he's been worrying about his weight. Then, well, you
know how he is. "What a cutie," he muttered, drooling slightly "I'd eat her right there. Not
while she's asleep, of course. Terribly rude." One thing led to another until he was urging the
'Albert' on screen to wake the poor girl up and swallow her. I had to explain that it was just a
picture, not even an animation. He was a bit disappointed, but not so much that he wasn't
flattered at seeing himself portrayed by one of his admirers.
The only problem is, he thinks the pantry in the pic is smarter than his back home, all those
succulent beauties elegantly displayed like edible trophies. Now he wants to refurbish his own
and he's cooking up all sorts of hare-brained and possibly dangerous schemes to raise the
money - he blew the proceeds of his last royalty cheque on a dozen very expensive (and
delicious) Kuari women in a moment of self indulgence. Not a rare moment, of course. His
latest plan is to make a fortune smuggling marmalade. You might think this wouldn't be a
problem, he could just buy and sell it, but in fact it's illegal on Aldebaran IV for reasons no
rational being could understand - much like cannabis on Earth - and anyway the really good
stuff is made outside his normal hunting area. Buying the genuine article in North America
would add to his overheads, but if he could somehow sneak a few dozen crates of prime
Tiptree chunky orange out of Essex he'd be made for life. I told him he should just buy it
openly in the US and put up with the cost of importing, it wasn't worth the extra risk. Albert
isn't sure. He's gone off to reread the terms of his hunting license, the complicated bits about
what he can and can't take off Earth. He's fairly sure that if he gets caught buying marmalade
at this end, the MIB won't come down too hard on him (if they even care) but they might get
ideas about what else he's been sneaking away with.
You see what you've started?
Well, never mind. Hi Carrie, nice to have you back. Love the pic but how are those poor
souls without screen grabbers supposed to save it?
Oh, and always happy to be an inspiration. It's easier than working....
Cheers,
PK
It depends on whether the marmalade venture bears fruit. Carrie may have
spawned an Albert sequel, the inspiration goes both ways. We'll see. Stay loose
and froopy.
PK
Alysand lifted her eyes from the cash register just for long enough to notice that her next
customer looked a little strange. He seemed to be a really big toad. She didn't want to
comment, you meet lots of funny people in a delicatessen..
"Yes?" she inquired brightly. "What would you like?"
Albert looked around furtively. "As much marmalade as you've got," he muttered out of the
corner of his mouth.
"Marmalade?"
"Tiptree Gold, if you have it....I can pay."
Alysand stared. Ohmygawditsanalien, she thought. The Martians want our fruit perserves.
"We only have three dozen jars," her alter ego said. You know, the part that wasn't wetting
herself. Cute and warty. Boogaloo.
"Tiptree?" the alien insisted.
"Genuine," Alysand assured him.
The batrachian reached under his filthy raincoat. "American Express or gold?"
"Gold card?" Alysande was fizzing.
"Bullion. Heavy metal."
It was difficult to decide. There was an awkward pause.
"Or I could just eat you," Albert offered helpfully. "I'm sure you'd like it." After all, money
wasn't everything. He stuck his tongue out. This could be interpreted in a number of ways.
Alysand moaned...