Posted by PK on October 13, 2001 at 18:33:01:
JENNY CHECKS OUT
A tasty tale of summer fun by PK
Jenny's morning was not going well. She was irritable and bored. Her cheap and
ucomfortable uniform dress was sticking to her - nylon, probably - and work at a supermarket
checkout desk was not her idea of job satisfaction. She'd only taken this position out of
desperation. Since the software company she used to work for went belly up she'd been
unable to find anything decent, and good jobs were hard to come by in the current economic
climate.
After four weeks of checking out groceries, Jenny felt she was slowly going insane from
boredom. The customers provided some amusement at first, but that had worn thin very
quickly. Now she only saw them as annoying interruptions to the sexual fantasies she tried to
distract herself with. As if that weren't bad enough, there seemed to be something wrong
with the air conditioning, or maybe it was incipient claustrophobia. She felt hot, cramped, and
her collar itched. If one more idiot unloaded half a ton of purchases and then started looking
for their money, cards, discount tokens or whatever only after being told the price, as if the
idea of paying came as a total surprise, she was going to bite somebody.
The worst of it was, she could see through the glass doors that it was warm and sunny
outside. The best weather for ages, and she was stuck in this mausoleum.
The queue at her till showed no signs of subsiding. It was summer, and one of those
pointless and baffling bank holidays was approaching. Though the shops hardly ever shut
these days, this seemed to be a sign to the general public to stock up as if for a siege, or
possibly a nuclear winter. Gloomily, Jenny wondered if starving to death was really such a
bad idea. She wanted to strip off her dreadful shop clothes and dive naked into the cold
meats section. Now THAT would get a reaction from these shopping zombies, she thought....
Just as she was half seriously wondering when she'd crack and actually do it, one of the
supervisors tapped her on the shoulder.
"Phone call for you, Jenny. Says it's urgent. I hope it's not your boyfriend calling, you know
our policy on ...."
"I know, I know....did they say who it was?"
"Something about an emergency at a barbecue club, I don't know. Couldn't make sense of it.
Just take it and get back quickly. I'll fill in for five minutes, but don't hang about. In case you
hadn't noticed, we're busy".
"I'd noticed" muttered Jenny under her breath.
Leaving the harried looking woman to cope with another endless line of hungry mouths, she
got up, pulled down the sticky skirt of her dress and went to see what the big problem was.
In the staff office, one of the secretaries held the phone out to her at arm's length, as if it was
radioactive. Jenny took it with scarcely more enthusiasm, though a part of her welcomed the
interruption. It had better not be Mike. She had broken up with him a week ago and although
she missed the sex, she had no great urge to start it again. Her mother? Please no. No more
"when are are you going to marry that nice boy and settle down." Anything but that, God be
merciful....
"Jenny Bright?" The voice was male, pleasant and totally unfamiliar.
"Er.. yes...". Great, she thought. Great start. Witty, incisive, sexy...
"I hope I've got the right Jenny. Pretty embarrasing if I haven't ....you are on the list of
barbecue club volunteers, aren't you?"
Jenny felt as if a lightning bolt had shot up from the soles of her feet into her brain, taking the
scenic tour of her groin and adrenal glands on the way.
"Um. yes..." she found herself responding while her mind raced. For a fact, she was. She had
sent in her name from an advert on the Internet in a moment of insanity.
"Well, If you're up for it, we have a vacancy" Mr Pleasant Voice went on. "I'm sorry about the
short notice - we don't usually arrange these things at the last minute but someone dropped
out unexpectedly. You know how it is. You to try plan everything but people change their
minds, fail to turn up for no reason, decide to visit their aunts....sorry, I used to run a chess
team, I should be used to it by now. Anyway, if you're not too busy and you can see your way
clear we'd be very grateful. If it's too sudden I'll quite understand..."
Jenny's head was spinning. She could hear somebody saying "No that's quite alright...I'm not
doing anything important.." and realised that it was her. She collected herself for a moment
and went on.
"How will I get there? I mean, what do you want me to do? Should I bring anything with me
or..."
"No problem!" PV responded brightly. "We'll send a car. All you need to bring is yourself." He
paused for a moment as if struck by a thought and added sheepishly "Well, it would be good
of you to bring some mustard, if that's not a problem?"
"No, that's fine. I'll get some now. Anything else? You know where I am." She choked back a
giggle.
"Yes, rather convenient, isn't it?" He laughed. "Well, if it's not too much bother, some extra
virgin olive oil and a bit of black pepper wouldn't go amiss. There never seems to be enough,
does there? Oh, by the way, I'm forgetting my manners. I'm Tony."
"Pleased to meet you". replied Jenny automatically. "When do you expect..?"
"Oh, the car should be with you shortly, it's not far. Ten, fifteen minutes? Maybe twenty, it
depends on the traffic. Anyway, it doesn't matter if you're five minutes late, the party's going
on all day - it's not like you're catching a train or something."
"No, I suppose not" said Jenny. "That'll be fine. See you soon."
"Right - and thanks very much, I mean..."
"No problem"
Jenny put the phone down in a sort of daze. No problem. Did I just say what I think I said?
she wondered. The secretary asked her something as she left but she just waved her hand
and muttered something non-committal. Pepper, mustard, olive oil. Maybe she should get
some horseradish? He probably forgot to ask...men! Useless at shopping.
She picked up a basket from the stack The supervisor was waving her over and she went
towards her.
"Problem? I hope it's nothing serious.."
"No...yes. Look, I'm sorry but I've got to go."
Mustard....where was that?
"But we're short staffed - look, if you need to take a break..."
"Sorry, can't be helped...emergency...talk to you later..." Jenny moved off leaving her
effectively chained to the till and wandered into the body of the shop. Where the hell WAS
the mustard? If you asked anybody they'd just say "aisle seven" or something. Eventually she
found it. What else? Pepper, olive oil, got it. What else? Tomato ketchup? God forbid. She
shuddered in disgust. It they're going to put ketchup on me I don't want to know about it.They
can bring their own. Besides, Tony sounded so nice - he wouldn't do that to me, would he?
Eventually she thought she had everything. She looked at the lines in front of the checkout.
Too slow, and anyway she hated queuing. She'd just put them in a carrier bag and walk out.
She was staff, she had a uniform on, nobody would notice. Not until it was too late to worry
about, anyway. Did she have time to change? Probably not. She put her condiments in a bag
snatched carelessly from a counter and moved casually towards the staff changing room.
Then a thought struck her and she detoured to the wine section. They probably had some,
but you could never have too much. She picked some of the best reds she could see. No
need to worry about expense in the circumstances. On to the lockers....
Elise was there, surreptitiously dragging on a cigarette. She jumped as Jenny walked in.
"You should give those things up, they'll kill you" said Jenny automatically.
"If a heart attack doesn't get me first. I thought you were Judy."
"Please!"
"What are you doing here anyway? It's not your break yet is it?."
"Not exactly..." Jenny opened her locker. Was it worth changing? The clothes she'd come in
were hardly any better and she wouldn't be wearing them long, anyway.
"Look, Elise, you know that dress I bought last week..."
"The blue one? The one you really NEED panties with? Do I ever! What about it?"
"You can have it. I don't think I'll be wearing it again."
"You're kidding. It cost a fortune. Have you gone off it already?"
"Not exactly, no.." Jenny paused. This was getting too complicated. How would Elise get the
dress? It wasn't listed in the will she'd drunkenly typed on the computer after answering the
ad. She didn't want it to go to waste..
"Take my keys and pick it up from my flat after work" she said, fishing her key ring out of her
purse and tossing to the other girl.
"Why? Where are you going, anyway? Not that I'm not grateful and everything, but what's
going on?" Elise was beginning to look somewhere between puzzled and concerned.
"Look, Elise, remember that ad I answered? I told you about it in the pub a week last Friday.
You may have forgotten but..."
Horrified realisation dawned on her friend's face. "You can't be serious. That cooking club
thing? I thought you were joking. You're going now? Why didn't you say anything before? I
thought we were going to see the new Arnie film tomorrow."
"Short notice. Somebody dropped out. You'll have to ask Karen, she likes Arnie. Anyway, you
said at the time you might fancy it yourself."
"It's one thing to talk about it after a few drinks - are you really going to do it? Can't you
change your mind? They can't make you, can they?"
"No, nobody's forcing me. I said I'd do it, that's all. Wouldn't be right to back out now. If I turn
chicken when I see the spit, maybe. Anyway, if I stay here much longer I'm going to top
myself. Probably after braining a few customers with a frozen turkey." A vision of spitted
poultry flashed through her head. Freudian slip?
"I can't believe you're really going to do it. Who are these people anyway? Do you know
them?"
"No, not really. Just ..um..Tim? Bob? No, Tony. But he sounded really nice on the phone."
"So you're going to a barbecue with a bunch of total strangers and you're going to let them
.....is it outdoors?"
"I should think so. Why?"
"I don't know, I just thought of you taking all your clothes off in front of all those strangers and
wondered if the neighbours would be able to see you."
"Hadn't given it much thought. I don't mind that, anyway. They're hardly going to do me with
my clothes on, are they?"
"Bloody exhibitionist!" Elise giggled then caught herself. "If you're really going through with it,
I suppose I can't stop you. I'll miss you though. Oh Hell.." She gave Jenny a hug.
"I'd like to say I'll miss you too but...."
There was a knock at the door. Couldn't be staff, then. A voice called out hesitantly "Miss
Bright? Is there a Miss Jenny Bright in there? Car for you."
Jenny unclasped her friend and opened the door. "Be right with you" Where was the bag?
"OK, I'm coming. See you Elise...well...."
Elise followed her and the driver to the main door. The sun outside was almost blinding.
"Is there anything you want me to take care of?" she asked.
Jenny stopped. "Horseradish" she said chagrined. "I forgot it. Could you nip and get me
some? I've got this bag...."
Wordlessly she turned and hurried off. Jenny smiled apologetically at the driver. He
shrugged. Half a minute later Elise handed her the jar, her expression unreadable.
"Have a nice day" said Jenny ironically "I'll be thinking of you sweating behind that till."
"Take care.." her friend started to say. Jenny laughed.
"Enjoy the dress. The colour suits you better than me anyway."
The ride in the hired car was a smooth one. Tony had shelled out for a top class limo, there
was lots of leg room in the back. She had the window down, and the cool air was pleasant on
her bare arms and legs. After a few minutes, they were out of the town centre. There were
trees on the streets and around the occasional fields. Nice area, she thought.
"Is it far?" she asked the taciturn driver.
"About five minutes now." he replied.
Jenny settled back into the seat, then started upright. A terrible thought had struck her.
Surreptitiously she felt under her dress and tried to remember. Relief! She did have her good
underwear on and it was clean. She'd had a dreadful vision of pulling her dress off and
revealing the ragged greyish pair with the hole in. Perhaps she could have slipped them off
and hidden them under the seat. She relaxed and enjoyed the journey. A part of her mind
wondered if she was really totally insane, but she refused to let it spoil her day.
Soon enough, they arrived at a large house, set back from the road by a short walk. She
supposed there must be more grounds at the back if the party was here. Or was it indoors?
She hoped not. It was so nice ouside, it would be a shame to waste the weather.
"Here you go miss" the driver said as he opened her door. Jenny stepped out.
"How much..? " she asked. then stopped. Did she have enough money on her?
"All paid for Miss. Have a good day."
He drove off as Jenny walked to the front door. Should she go round to the back? Or present
herself at the tradesman's entrance as self-delivered kitchen goods? She giggled just as the
door opened and a good looking man of about thirty five came out. He caught Jenny
laughing and smiled in sympathy.
"Oh great. I was just looking for you. You are Jenny aren't you? I'm Tony." He held out his
hand. "So good of you to come at such short notice."
"No trouble" said Jenny, handing him the bag.
"You remembered the mustard! Great! Horseradish too, I knew I'd forgotten something. And
wine. You really needn't have. All welcome though! Come on through."
"It's not inside, is it?" Jenny really wasn't sure she fancied that.
"Oh Heavens no. The spits are in the back yard." He turned and gave Jenny an appraising
glance. "We've got one waiting for you. No hurry, though. Have a drink, meet some people,
enjoy yourself. There's plenty of time."
They passed through the house, which seemed to be empty. As they came out of the back
door it was obvious why. A considerable crowd of people were in the very large back yard.
Jenny could see smoke through the crowd, and was that the smell of something cooking?
"What happened, anyway?" Jenny wondered. "Did someone back out?"
"No, Anthea - my sister - was going to take your place, but she came down with hay fever at
the last minute. She's inside lying down, loaded with anti-histamines. Well, another day.."
"Not the outdoors type then?"
"Not really. Oh look, here's Sam. Sam, this is Jenny. She's the last minute volunteer."
A tall brunette shook Jenny's hand and gave her a glass of wine. "Thanks very much for
coming. Straight from work, too." She eyed the shop uniform. "Salmon pink isn't really your
colour you know. Not with that red hair. Not sure it's anybody's - well I'm sure you know that."
"I know." Jenny set her wineglass down on a table and pulled the offending garment off. Then
she kicked off her shoes too. The grass was thick and felt pleasantly cool and moist under
her bare feet. She curled her toes into it. Tony picked up her dress and asked what he should
do with it.
"Burn it, unless you keep souvenirs."
"I'll burn it. If I want a souvenir I'd rather keep those rather pretty undies of yours. Unless
Sam claims them first."
"You're not one of the volunteers, then, Sam?"
"No," said Sam "I've thought about it but not today." She eyed Jenny appreciatively.
"Besides, now I fancy eating you instead."