Posted by PK on August 23, 2003 at 18:27:59:
"Wait a minute," Jeff said. "We're going to eat HERE?"
"Why not here?" Katri teased.
"It IS your birthday," Ferrin added.
"But..." was all Jeff could manage.
"Old Human custom," Katri explained. "On the anniversary of a person's birth, said person's
friends, lovers and family give presents and arrange treats and parties and things. I think it's
neat."
She would. Of course, Kat wasn't technically human, but the Kuari were close enough for
jazz. Humanoid, genetically similar, slightly smaller and with cutely pointed ears. Elves.
"And the folded pieces of stiff paper with pictures on," Ferrin noted. "And friendly messages."
It was a conspiracy. Both his girlfriends were in on it.
"But..." Jeff started and realised that this wouldn't do. He was being wound up. It had to be a
joke. "These people serve..."
Bunnies?
"Ku flesh," Katri finished helpfully. "Freshly cooked and right off the hoof. Did I get that
right?"
There was no point explaining the obvious. His Ku lovers had invited him to a restaurant
where people of their own race were the main course.
"On the hoof?" Ferrin wondered.
"Cow feet," Kat said. "It means..."
"I knew that. I just thought..."
Jeff tried to collect his own thoughts. The best he could manage was, "I thought you didn't..."
"Approve?" Kat teased. "Of what? The KLF? Don't worry, it's not a terrorist front, just a
restaurant."
Not that that KLF were very good terrorists. Or very bad, depending on your point of view.
All they wanted - demanded - was that their race be returned to their former status as cattle,
which they had 'enjoyed' under the rule of the Ss'Rith . They rarely killed anybody but they
did occasionally disrupt computer communication systems, as Jeff knew from personal
experience. However, the dining establishment in question - Vallin's Place - did have a
reputation and it did seem uncomfortably close to being a front for KLF propaganda.
And Jeff didn't like the KLF at all. One of their sympathisers had tried to provoke him into
eating an innocent Ku female, and had almost fooled him into blaming Katri for it. It had
almost driven him over the edge and wrecked the team he was trying to build. Of course, the
culprit had paid the price. Since then, he had established what he thought was a good
relationship with his team and the two of them he slept with. And did other things, of course.
"And the food's great," Ferrin said. Her perky, frecked face promised mischief. "At least,
that's what I've heard."
"Tits and pussy on a plate," Kat added. "Dish of the day, we've been saving up."
Like a recovering alcoholic, Jeff wanted to say "I don't eat people." But...
He did want to and they knew it. They knew him. Any minute now they'd remind him. He
imagined it.
[You didn't mind eating Risha. Spit roasted.
That was different, she betrayed us. She had it coming.
No argument. She did. But don't tell us you didn't enjoy it. We saw you.]
But no, they wouldn't. He'd been living with Kat and Fen for long enough to know that they
didn't accuse, didn't judge, didn't do guilt trips. Maybe it was because they weren't human.
"Or we could just go for pizza," Ferrin said.
That had to be a challenge of some sort. Except that it might not be.
"Not fond of pizza," Jeff said. Too stodgy. Recipe for constipation.
"Fish and chips?" Katri suggested. Katri liked fish.
Better. But...
Oh yes, he HAD enjoyed eating Risha. Of course, he hadn't been alone in that. The whole
team had come to the barbecue and all of them had had some of her. Sacrifice or sacrament
or justice or just good food? Be a burger...
Her choice, and presumably the choice of the Ku females who comprised the menu here.
Since the Alliance of the Human Federation and the Ruan Commonwealth had expelled the
Ss'Rith, nobody had to be eaten unless they chose to be. Risha had embraced her principles,
such as they were, and chosen to be roasted rather than face imprisonment for sabotage,
reckless endangerment, defamation and attempted manslaughter.
Rough justice, but fair enough.
"Okay," Jeff uttered.
"Fish and chips?"
"Ku pussy on a plate," Jeff retorted. "Let's go in." He could always back out later.
The decor in the restaurant was intimate, sensual and friendly. It felt like stumbling into a
warm bar with a band playing when you'd been lost on the foggy moors or bewildered and
desperate in the industrial district of a town you didn't know. It promised safe haven and
wicked, undefined delights. It smelled of flesh, raw and cooked, and exotic intoxicants. Wine
with arrack, opiated spices barely sensed. The tables were divided into a maze of little nooks
and crannies, dimensions indeterminate. There was laughter and chatter. People eating,
people talking, people drinking. And....
Jeff wanted to go home. Right now. Read a good book. Watch some vid. Go to bed with his
lovers.
"We booked a table," Ferrin said. "This way."
Jeff let himself be led. The waitresses....
They were naked, or half-naked. All of them.
"So, pussy on a plate," Kat bantered. "Anybody's in particular?"
It was one thing to embrace the principle of self-determination, another thing entirely to see it
in action. Jeff considered ordering a BigMac. Human junk food you could get from
dispensers.
Too late. A waitress came to take their order. She could have been Fen's country cousin,
freckles and all. She lacked Fen's Levi shorts and T-shirt.
Not in Kansas any more, Jeff thought. Not that he'd ever been there. While Kat exchanged a
few words with the waitress, he noticed a picture hanging on a wall across the room. An oil
painting, or so it seemed in this lighting. Several humanoid females (presumably Ku but they
might as well have been human) being devoured by large bipedal lizards. Anthropomorphic
stylised versions of what Jeff had to guess were the Ss'Rith.
The waitress caught his diversion. "Oh, that," she said, smiling. "Reminder of the Good Old
Days, according to some. Quite evocative, don't you think?"
Jeff found her smile endearing. "It is a bit..." Powerful? Art crit wasn't his strong point. What
to say? "You aren't one of them? I mean.."
"You mean do I want the soi-disant 'masters' back? The ones you Galactics call the Ss'Rith?
Yuck. Not I. Never fancied being gobbled up by some bloody great lizard who'd just as soon
eat a monkey. I prefer the personal touch."
"Are you, umm..."
"Am I..?" An arch smirk. She knew. He knew she knew. Etc.
"He means are you on the menu tonight," Ferrin explained for form's sake.
The waitress laughed. "Not yet," she said. She smiled at Jeff. "But the interest is appreciated.
I thought I'd serve tables a bit before taking the plunge."
Jeff didn't know quite what to say to that.
Katri did. "And he was SO looking forward to eating you..."
No point denying that. "The thought had crossed my mind," he admitted. It was the right thing
to say.
The waitress flaunted her hips. "I should hope so," she said.
Katri leaned out and licked her, in the tender spot just between the hipbone and the pubis.
The juncture of leg, groin and belly.
The girl enjoyed it.
It's perfectly natural, Jeff told himself. These people are used to being food, it's a part of their
cultural heritage. Now they have other options, but...
Kat had made no secret of the fact that eating Risha hadn't disturbed her at all. She'd chatted
lightly with her friends and colleagues while snacking on her former associate's prime cuts.
Neither she nor Fen had commented adversely on the fact that he had been aroused by the
proceedings, as he was now. The traitor had met her just deserts. Might as well enjoy it. She
had even been greeted by most of the team when she went to the spit. Flix had stayed aloof.
She hated comnet saboteurs with a passion and stayed only to see Risha killed. She had
refused to give her the honour of eating any part her.
Different mores, Jeff knew. The Ruan ate their dead too, at least the traditionalists. But they
didn't serve each other in restaurants. Kat and the waitress were still bantering lightly, Kat
suggesting she'd come back when the waitress was ready to commit; the waitress offering to
send notice. It was surreal.
Fen noticed his discomfiture. "Are you all right? You seem a bit..distracted."
"I don't know," Jeff said. "It seems a bit weird. I suppose you're comfortable with it, but..."
"It bothers you?"
"Frankly, yes."
"Why?"
One of the many things Jeff liked about Ferrin (her freckles, her toes, her professional skills
and the fact that she was dynamite in bed) was her directness. Not that he didn't appreciate
Kat's whimsy, nor that Fen didn't have a sense of humour either - both his lovers liked to
tease - but when he wanted a straight answer, she'd give him one. Usually, anyway.
Sometimes he wondered why either of them stayed with him.
["You're our tall cool one," Kat had said. "Besides...."
"You have that thing we like," Ferrin had added. She had held his balls in her hand for
emphasis.
"Things we don't get down on the farm," Katri had said. And what she had done next wasn't
suitable for public consumption.]
"I'll get you a menu," the waitress told Kat.
"Why?" Jeff didn't know where to start. Eating an attractive woman was a favourite fantasy of
his, always had been. Ferrin knew that. She had also known, somehow, that he wouldn't hurt
her. She had never been afraid of him, despite his half-guilty repressed desires and the
obvious fact that he was bigger and stronger than her or any Ku female. The reason he didn't
usually eat women, apart from the legal considerations, was that it would kill them. He shook
his head. "I suppose I just don't get why anyone would do this. She - " he waved a hand at
the departing waitress - "is talking about going on the menu as if it's a career choice."
"Whereas I opted for technical and administration," Ferrin said, "Career? As in a headlong
slide downhill?"
Verbal acuity, Jeff had noticed, was a Ku trait. The whole species had taken to English like
ducks to water and were splashing about in it happily.
The waitress - still naked, Jeff couldn't help noticing - had returned with the menu. She
handed it to him with an air of ceremony and he couldn't help wondering if he'd been set up.
Any minute now everybody would shout 'surprise!' or 'April fool'. Maybe there would be a
cake with candles or a cardboard replica with a stripper in it. Redundant in this environment.
He was half right. The unobtrusive music in the background changed to Led Zeppelin - a 20th
century classical group. Stairway to Heaven.
The menu comprised a list of dishes of the day, with photographs of the main ingredients.
Some of them had added notes and recommendations.
He didn't know how to explain all that to Alai. Maybe Fen would cover the essentials. No
point micromanaging. You have to trust, sometimes. He smiled at Fen. Alai caught it and
smiled shyly back. Her borrowed shirt didn't conceal much of her anatomy. Her breasts were
half visible. Jeff had licked the cooking oil off them himself. Oil that would have helped the
skin crisp nicely if she hadn't been called back from the oven.
Jeff addressed himself to the bloody remnants of his steak. It wouldn't do to mention that
he'd dreamed of eating her. He had, he suddenly recalled. It's odd the way dreams resurface.
Sleep doesn't end when you wake up. It casts echoes. Deja Vu.
The dream he recalled in flashes wasn't like the restaurant at all. Alai had invited him to her
room, a place he had never visited in real life. It had been cosy and small, but there had
been something wrong with it, or wrong with her. There had been a monkey on a shelf, a doll,
sinister somehow. The dream had been as convoluted as dreams usually are, but everything
had somehow led back to that space. He half-remembered destroying the doll and then...
She had opened to him. He had eaten her, raw. Or not. Her nipples he remembered as
budding mushrooms. Rosebuds. Two fried eggs on toast. Whatever. She had left for
somewhere else...and he had missed her as if he'd known her, which he didn't. Hadn't.
None of this made any sense to him. It just seemed important. There had been a narrow bed
in an attic, a window, something outside.
'Toast?' Ferrin offered.
Each sitting on his favourite post, we chumped and chawed the buttered toast they gave us
for our....
'Tea,' Jeff said. Sure cure for night mares.
It wouldn't do to mention that he'd dreamed of eating her, no. Kat and Fen would take it as
play. Alai..
What did she dream of?
Fen produced the tea. Hot, Indian tea with just a touch of full-fat milk, the way he liked it.
'Thanks,' he said. She nodded and smiled. He watched her hands move. Rainbows.
'Still stoned?'
The light turned the fine hairs on her neck into fire.
'Just a bit,' he said.