Posted by PK on December 10, 2001 at 18:45:47:
BLUE MOON
Jenna focussed all her attention on her toenails. It was the only way to quell the panic rising
in the pit of her stomach. Carefully, she clipped them short and neat. She thought about
laquer. She thought about sailing boats. Blue sky and blue sea.
Edible dye. She painted her toenails blue. The embroidered robe hung on a chair. It seemed
a thousand miles away because she could measure her own existence in seconds if she
thought about it.
On stage any minute now. Don't look in the mirror, that's what vampires do. No, that's what
they can't do. She didn't want to see her own eyes. Feedback, you see? No panic, breathe
deeply. All over soon. Concentrate on the details. God is in the details, that's a quote from
somewhere?
Where? Doesn't matter. Pick up the robe, drape it over shoulders. Shivery gooseflesh, soon
be warmer. Bare feet on wood. Nice, nice wood.
Jenna walked out of the dressing room suitably clad. Cheers, whistles, applause. It's just a
lottery, she thought. That's all it ever is. Sooner or later, we all lose. I'm now insane, she told
herself. Thank God for that. Amazing to be so calm and so terrified at the same time, how is
that possible?
I know where I'm going, she told them all. Do you? It helped a bit.
The others on spits, she knew some of them. The heat. Well, no cold Hell for her.
Disrobe with a flourish. Shaky but it doesn't show.
My club, my choice to take the chance, my turn. Enjoy it while you can. Eat me.
But as the spit entered, somehow, Jenna howled at the moon.