Posted by PK on December 09, 2001 at 17:26:12:
BAMBI AND THE TIT-EATING SPACE ALIEN
Bambi strolled down the beach unhappily. Another film job refused. Another day as a
waitress ahead of her. Life seemed bleak.
That was when she met the Alien.
He was nine feet tall and horny. He greeted her as he sprang out from his cave hideout with
these chilling words. "Hello. I'm going to eat your tits."
It was a novel introduction. Bambi didn't quite know what to do with it.
She thought about 'EEK, no, don't' and several variants on that but settled for the simpler
response.
"Why?"
"Tasty, nutritious, all the food groups I require. Please remove that cloth thing, it's not very
nice to eat."
Bambi strained herself to think about it. If he ate her tits...serious health problems were
possible. It would do her career no good either.
"Sorry, no." She glanced about. No lifeguards were in evidence.
"Well, I tried asking nicely. If you're going to be difficult..."
The Alien ripped off her bikini top and bit off her right breast. Fifty percent of her assets
gone. Bambi was disconsolate. Worse was to come. He ate the other one.
"Now that hits the spot," he said, wiping his mouth.
"I'm bleeding to death," Bambi protested. Her tits gone, her bikini ruined - blood was soaking
into the bottom half - and her career in tatters. And, of course, she was going to die.
"Oh, sorry." The Alien pulled a device out of a pouch in his body. It beeped and chattered. He
ran it over Bambi's torso. The bleeding stopped.
"The skin and nipples should regenerate in about half an hour. I'm afraid you'll only be a 32
after this, though. Can't be helped."
Bambi sulked for half an hour after he left, until her nipples grew back. The she noticed that
she felt lighter. It wasn't so bad. She sunbathed topless and wondered about a career as a
fashion model. Maybe big tits were passe after all.