Posted by PK on June 03, 2004 at 17:41:07:
In Reply to: At least something actually happens in TBK's stories! posted by TBK Fan on June 02, 2004 at 18:46:01:
Mmm, you're right. I'll have to practice a bit.
Debbie Jo was a stunning blonde with incredibly big tits. She sauntered out to the pool and
took off her bikini. Jeez, that a rack! Just then a mad axeman leapt out of the bushes and
whacked her head off. Blood spurted from her neck and her huge tits jiggled enticingly as her
headless body fell into the pool.
Just then, her friend Bobby Sue came out of the house. "Debbie Jo?" she called. "Oh no!"
Whack. Off came Bobby Sue's head. Blood spattered from her bodiless head as it flew into
the pool...
Bear with me, I'm just getting the hang of this....
Damn. Been there, done that, couldn't be bothered to buy the T-shirt. It's in the archive, but if
that's too hard, here it is:
"Please don't chop my head off," begged Candi in a tremulous voice. The floor of the
changing room was littered with the dismembered limbs of her cheerleader team. The gutters
ran with their blood. Here they were, congratulating themselves on the victory of the Dead
Squaw Giants over the Doldrumville Neanderthals and this had to happen. Her pretty blue
eyes ran with tears which coursed down her porcelain complexioned face. It was hell on her
mascara, and it was certainly going to ruin her weekend. Her youthful breasts were trembling
with the mad pounding of her panicking heart. (You can see them because she was halfway
undressed for the shower)
"Don't...."
The Axe Murderer paused briefly to cast a lecherous bloodshot eye over her frail, trembling
limbs, though it was hard to see this through his hockey mask. She fell back onto the floor,
scrabbling desperately, as he came in for the kill.
"Little fool," he snarled, raising his weapon as she cringed in helpless terror. "You'll die like all
the other sluts."
"No, no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no, EEEK!" she squealed.
"Oh sod this," muttered the AM, ripping the mask off in disgust. "Can't you get me a part in a
decent story?"
Candi raised herself on one elbow. Her legs were still sprawled prettily, and a little bit
wantonly, which is allowed because she's about to die.
"You're supposed to chop my head off now," she ventured.
"It's so bloody pointless," the AM (actually Gerald, after the mouse in the Syd Barrett song) ,
muttered, as if he hadn't heard. "I could have done Albert or Larry. I wouldn't have
minded......"
"CUT!"
Sorry folks, I'll get it yet...
Well, no. Anybody can write this sort of crap and frankly I can't be bothered to. Five minutes
writing a spoof while my mail downloads is all the time it's worth.
Cheers,
Paul