Posted by Bad Bart on May 07, 2006 at 00:33:20:
A tribute to Barbanne, the best writer of stories ever, the finest necrobabe of all!!
(Plagiarism being the sincerest form of flattery!!)
The Demise of Bad Barb and Bad Rose.
We were two bad gal outlaws; me and Rose. She was Bad Rose. I was Bad Barb. We robbed alike and kilt alike and we dressed alike. We both sported skin tight spray on jeans and stilletto cowgirl boots and little waistcoats which we let flap free in the breeze. That's coz Rose would have had trouble buttoning hers up anyway coz of her magnificent rounded boobs while mine were pert and firm but with nipples like gun barrels!! We wuz known and feared throughout the West!!
Well shucks!!
So one afternoon we rode into a small dusty nameless western town. Passin a cutsey blonde with a healthy cleavage outside the little schoolhouse we asked;
"Maam? Could you kindly direct us to the nearest saloon?"
"Why" she said blushing, "that's just down the street aways, but ladies, I would advise against it. That place is allus full of lewd characters and evil women".
"Sounds like our kind of establishment" said Rose and without further ado we trotted down the street, hitched our horses and sashayed right through the swing doors.
"Two whiskys right away and make it fast" I said " I say two whiskys coz we is bad and mean!!"
There was a wicked semi clad gal playing away on a piano over in the corner and Rose took umbrage at this.
"Shut the f*#k up" she exclaimed and that wicked gal just kept right on playin and gave Rose the finger. Well that riled Rose and she drew her six gun and fired and put a slug right between that gal's eyes and the gal just slumps limp like onto the keys and dies on the spot. Then she slides onto the floor and her boobs spill out and her dress rides up revealing a lack of underwear and her eyes cross over and her tongue unravels and she gives out with a last great fart!!
"The lost chord" sez Rose!!
"Spoil sport" I sez and then we laughed and hollered and drank more whisky till we wuz plumb liquored up!!
Then some good lookin cowboy with a huge star on his chest comes over and he says;
"Hey that was my gal playin that there piano and so why don't you pick on someone wiv your own disposition!!"
"Why mister sheriff" I says "be pleased to oblige. Let's take this outside"
So we steps into the dusty street and we start pacin'. Then we stares one another down.
"Shucks" sez one of the townsfolk "that there sheriff is the slowest draw in the west. He'll get hisself kilt".
So after a quick whip around amongst the townsfolk and with the aid of a generous donation or two someone approaches Rose with a hatful of money and sez;
"This here cash is yours if ya blasts Barb for us 'fore she gits the sheriff"
"I cain't shoot me best mate" sez Rose till she catches sight of the money. Then she sez "Consider it done"
So here am I facing up to the sheriff fixin' to drill him full of holes and I starts to draw my trusty six shooter and afore I can get a shot off I hears a loud bang and something slaps me between the shoulder blades and I'm thinkin' he ain't got his gun out and I ain't fired so where'd the gunshot come from HUH? And then I looks at my shadow and I sees the sun shinin' through a little hole in my chest and I think hey that ain't right, and that's when I turn and I see Rose with a smokin' gun in one hand and a wad of cash in the other and I understood all!!
"Why pard" I says "ya........shot.......me!!". Just like that. Three separate words!!
And that hard hearted gal just laughs scornfully and starts countin' the cash. So I think I'll blast HER into eternity and draw my gun. But Rose was a heap quicker and her gun had fired again while mine was still coming out of its leather sheath.
KABOOMPOW!!!!
The slug ripped into my abdomen and my finger tightened on my trigger and jerked it in a reflexive spasm.
KABOOM!!!
My bullet tore into the ground in front and to the right of me just as a painful contraction burnt through my body, and I staggered backward, lifted onto my heels by the force of the second little lead projectile hitting me. I tried firing again and this time saw the dust kick up just a few feet in front of me. I staggered and rolled my eyes up and crossed them over and my tongue unravelled like a pair of granny's old knickers flappin' around on washin' day (Us bad gals allus does that when we is kilt. Go cross eyed and stick our tongues out that is). I fired once more wildly into the air and again into the ground. Then my gun slipped from my fingers and clattered away to my right while my left hand clawed at my tummy where another round, cratered and ridged bullet hole had appeared to match the other one through my chest between my pert bosoms. My hat fell off and fell backward down behind me and I rocked unsteadily on my boots and then staggered sideways still clutching my tummy wound. And then I tottered drunkenly back to the right and teetered on my toes.
Rose just stood there, smoking gun in one hand, wad of cash in the other.
Well then I'm standin' there swayin' about and everyones lookin' and suddenly....I starts to feel like, this is penetration with a plus, and I bin well and truly penetrated alright? And like, this is a turn on? And then I starts lubin' up and I have this overwhelming desire to fondle myself, and never bein' one to defy temptation I give into that urge. Next thing my hand is in my pants and I'm runnin my finger over my clit and I'm feelin' my rock hard nipples with the other hand and I'm staggerin' round and hey, it might only be one heck of a sick fuck thinks a dyin' bad girl can reach orgasm but I'm provin' that it's true right now and it feels pretty darn good!!! And somehow my skin tight jeans is down around my ankles and I'm really doin myself now and I can see the stunned faces of the townsfolks spinnin' round and little boys kind of smirkin' behind their hands and I hear Rose say;
"Shucks Barb, have a bit of dignity" and I sez "Just shut up and give me another" and she obliges by pullin' out her six gun and pluggin' me yet again. And at that precise moment I climax sensationally, and just as I'm REALLY enjoyin myself I hear myself say,
"Oh no........I'm dead!!!", and I feel my body stiffen and rise right up on my toes and I mutter,
"Goodnight Vienna", and my corpse falls stiffly forward with a sploosh right into the horse trough outside the saloon so half my body is in and half out. Then my finger, which was firmly lodged in my pussy, pops out like a champagne cork and my arse is out of control like I'm makin' love to the trough and my toes are drummin' a last tattoo in the dust and the mud and my arms flop down outside the trough with the palms upward flappin' away like a trained seal and suddenly I'm very still and extremely dead. Yet another still, limp, dead and partially naked bad gal shot dead on a dusty street. Happened a lot in the old west!! My hair spreads out in the water and a couple of bubbles rise up to the surface signifying a dying belch or two and a couple of quiet little farts escape my exposed posterior.
"That gal had NO class" says Rose, and then as the incredulous crowd is still ponderin' this latest sensation and examinin' my dead body someone stumbles into the crowd and yells
"The cutsey school teacha is daid. That bullet what Bad Rose shot Bad Barb wiv went right along the street and plugged her good"
So then forgettin' me in my undignified state all hell breaks loose and they grabs Rose who was still countin' the cash and they sez,
"She shot the school teacha!! String her up"
And Rose kind of sez "Whaaaaaaaat?" and next thing someone's got a rope and she passed hand over hand and she's sittin' on the back of a horse under a tree with a noose round her neck and arms firmly tied behind her back.
"Any last words?" sez the sheriff.
Well, Rose kind of simpers a bit to the audience and flutters her eyelids all demure like and she says,
"Hey boys!! You don't want to hang me!! We could have a lot of fun togther you and I. We could ERRGHHH!!"
And before she could say anymore the sheriff whacked the horse's butt and whooped "Giddyap!" and away went the horse and Rose came off of him and snap, the rope whanged taut and she was swinging there twisting and turning and chokin' slowly and serves her right too.
She took forever to die.
First she made choking noises like, "Aaagh...Aaack.....gaaaack....uuurrrkkkk" and stuff like that and her face went bluish and her lips went real blue and her tongue hung out lots and she went, "Oooohhhheeerrr," and then she just hung there for a bit with her head twisted to one side and tongue dangling out.
Meantime I'm still very dead and utterly forgotten as the crowd mills around me while they is watchin Rose. And she is kind of kickin' in mid air and thrustin' her ample bosom arrogantly forward as the noose bites deep into her neck. And she is goin' red, then purple and her tongue is unravelling even more onto her chin and her eyes is going round in her head like one of them toy teddy bears and she is "AACKING" and "AAAAAAARRRRRIN".
"Oooowwwwwkk," she said and thrashed some more but feeble like now.
She shivered all over and just made strangly noises like, "uughhtuuutuuugghhuuutuuut"
Then it looked like she tried to jerk herself free but it only made the rope bite harder and she turned a nice shad of blue.
The rope dug itself into her flesh, biting, bruising, constricting her blood vessels, cutting what little blood was still flowing through to her brain.
She had been there for about twenty minutes now.
She hung like that for a while longer, maybe ten minutes more, not moving, head twisted sideways and tongue swelling visibly, eyes wide open and staring. Then she shook all over and her breasts jiggled some and her legs swung back and forth and there was an awful creaking cartiledge sound from her neck.
And then her struggles diminished until she was just twitchin' and dribblin' and kickin' a little and someone says,
"Aw shucks, she is daid!!" and the crowd turns around all disappointed like and walks away.
"Cut her down" says the good lookin' sheriff and he peels a note off Rose's money wot she got for killin' me and says to the undertaker "Take her out and bury her".
Then he shouts "Drinks on me" and a heap of jostlin' fellas crowd past the horse trough where I'm lyin dead and go into the saloon. A coupla fellas stay behind and grab Rose and drop her with a splat into the dirt and and grabbin' her ankles they drags her, still twitchin, across to the undertakers with her little waistcoat all ridden up and her large breasts jigglin' and bouncin' in plain view and splayed out like Roy Roger's saddlebags. Then someone sees her twitchin' a bit and even though she is very dead he grabs an axe handle from the store and clubs her brutally right between the eyes, and her eyeballs kind of bounce right up into her skull like she was lookin' for somethin' up there and then they spin round a bit and if she weren't dead before, which she was, she sure was good and dead now.
And I'm gurglin' and bubbling in the horse trough and still plenty dead and forgotten.
Then about two hours later a cowboy goes into the bar, brushes the dust off, downs a drink and sez,
"Hey fellas, you want to see the town drunk out there shagging the water trough".
So out everyone crowds and there is the town drunk alright goin at the water trough like a terrier screwing a cricket ball and then the penny drops and someone yells,
"That ain't the water trough he's goin at, that there is dead Bad Barb!!"
And everyone watches until the drunk finishes doing me good and they all holler and laugh and go back inside and I'm left there bobbin away with my naked arse in plain view and totally forgotten again. Then as an after thought, the good lookin sheriff type says,
"and git that dead body out of the horse trough too, it's spookin the horses"
So I feel rough hands grab me and dump me down in the dust and manure and the mud and I'm lying there staring vacantly at nothing in particular with a dozy sort of dopey look on my dead face. Then they grab my feet and drag me through the slush and dirt to the undertaker's parlour where they prop me up wiv Rose on the verandah for the photgrapher to get shots of the two dead outlaw gals so's he can make postcards. Then they put us in front of the window where the saloon gal wot Rose shot and the teacha wot got shot too are reposing in proper coffins and take more pics wiv me and Rose sort of piled in front. Then for a different market they take us in and strip us and take lots more pictures of me and Rose in various sexual poses.
"These are for the sick mob who like looking at dead naked cowgirls" sez the photgrapher.
"Amazin'!! That's quite disgustin'" says the sheriff and then he and the photographer shag our dead bodies real good.
Then we got left alone. Just two dead naked bad gals who got theirs. But we didn't get left alone for long. Over at the saloon a bunch of newly arrived cowboys got to hear about the fracas and they made their drunken way across the street to view the dead outlaw gals.
First their curious faces appeared at the windows, lit by the dim lanterns they carried. Then they stole inside and tip toed over to Rose holding a lamp to her face. Well Rose sure looked shocked to be dead what with the raised eyebrows, crossed eyes and tongue hanging out. Serves her right for killing me thats all I can say.
"Yikes" sez one of the cowboys "check out the knockers on this one".
Sheesh!!! There she is with the stupidest look on her face ever and all they can do is look at her boobs!!
Then, discovering me, another calls out,
"Another one here!! Bit of a dozy dopey expression but nice eyes. Too bad she smells like a horse trough. Shucks, who cares, let's git into them boys".
They flop out their dicks and start masturbating, dicks growing larger and longer and stiffer, hands pumping faster and faster and then one after the other, within seconds, their cum flies out and splatters all over me and Rose lying there dead, helpless to protect ouselves. A ribbon of white goop sploshes on my open staring eyeball. Goop from their ejaculations hits us like gunfire, spraying us, sticking to us, covering our breasts, our nipples, our belly buttons and our face and smearing our white, still bodies. My head is flopping around and I see flashes of goop, then lanterns and then Rose then more cowboys.
They're all standing around now, looking down at our dead bodies. I am covered in drying jism, my mouth is full of it where the one hirsute cowboy mouth fucked me, and it is starting to run out and over my cheeks. My head is bent over backward, my long frizzy red hair streaming down until it reaches the floor. My arms have fallen off the bench and are splayed outwards, fingers curled slightly. My sightless eyes gaze patiently at nothing. my tits are upthrust, nipples erect and pointing at the ceiling.
"Well boys let's head back to the saloon" sez one cowboy!!
"Let's have a bit of fun first" said another, and a couple of them grasped my ankles and another grabbed my arms and they dumped my limp corpse face down on Rose, sightless eyes staring into sightless eyes, mouth against mouth, squished breast against squished breast and bush against bush. Two dead naked bandit gals locked together. That really amused all them big meaty cowboys and they went off hollerin' and laughin' back to the saloon.
So next day the undertaker comes in and finds the two of us stuck fast together, glued with all the goop that had been ejaculated on us the night before.
"What a freakin' mess" he says, "Boy!! Come in here and prise these two apart and take 'em out and dump them in a hole somwhere" And then as an afterthought "Hey and git rid of them other two bodies. We'll save a bit on boxes".
So his assistant kind of jemmies our bodies apart like two bits of pork cracklin', and he drags the saloon gal and the gal wot taught school out of their nice neat coffins and strips them and dumps us all into a heap.
Then he loaded up the ricketty old wagon.
First he dragged out the saloon gal and dumped her in the back. Then he took out the school teacher type and laid her on her back next to the other gal.
Then he returned and this time grabbed me under the armpits and dragged me out to the wagon. My ass hung down and my tits swayed and my arms dangled and my fingers hung lifelessly and my tummy bulged like a little pot. Had I been alive to be aware of it I would have really chastised myself for allowing myself to have such an embarrassing tummy bulge. But I cared nothing for what I looked like. My head hung forward and my frizzily curly hair curtained my face. My feet turned inward, toes curled up. The neat bloodless holes in my body concealed the ruin and damage that Rose's bullets had done.
The boy heaved me face down over my two dead companions.
I landed across both of them, my breasts squished against the saloon gal's globes, my groin covering the schoolmaam's face, my pussy tickled by her nose and mouth. My mouth was open and drooling against the saloon gal's cheek.
Then it was Rose's turn and I felt her magnificent breasts pressed against my back as she was dumped unceremoniously on top of the pile of jiggling, vibrating, dead female flesh.
The wagon moved off. The boy and the undertaker in the front, the four killed in the back. It stopped and started and swerved and swayed and bounced along and our tangle of flesh bumped and shook and slid and wobbled along, helpless to do other than move when the van moved. My tits rubbed up and down against the saloon gal's, my pussy slid wetly against the schoolmaam's facial contours, my mouth slipped sloppily against saloon gal's mouth. Rose's boobs slid up and down on my back. My tummy and arms and legs massaged the flesh of my girlfriends.
Like some gross parody of sex our four cooling bodies writhed together in orgiastic slippery sliding intimacy.
The van with its cargo of still twitching, quivering flesh drove out into the countryside and finally stopped deep near the town dump.
"No dumping of rubbish without a permit" said the sign.
"This will do" sez the undertaker, "let's git diggin".
So him and the boy kind of scrape out a shallow ditch just deep enough to receive the four of us.
"Now git them bodies off the wagon" he says.
The two men came to the back.
They shoved Rose off first and she fell in a heap of juddering voluptuousness and jiggling boobs on to the ground.
I was still sprawled on top of the saloon gal and the sexy gal wot taught school, and despite the constant movement of the van my blood had started pooling, staining the tips of my breasts and my tummy and the fronts of my thighs with the bluish rose colour of livor mortis. My vulva, my outer labia, were also discoloured and purplish.
The undertaker grabbed my heels and tugged. The boy pushed from inside. I slid backward towards the outside, my tits squishing upward as they dragged over the saloon gal's corpse. My legs dangled downward and my ass pointed up and my pussy scraped over the rear ledge of the cargo compartment. The boy gripped hold of a bunch of my hair and hoicked me up and I tumbled backwards into the arms of the waiting undertaker. With his arms around my chest he dragged me across the leaf litter, my heels bobbling along and dumped me on my back beside the freshly dug hole.
My mouth was open and my glazed eyes stared at nothing in particular. My eyeballs had crossed slightly giving my face a kind of vulnerable look of surrender. My arms lay stretched out where I had fallen and my legs were spread wide open, feet turned inward, toes and fingers upturned and clenching as rigor mortis approached.
Rose and the saloon gal followed soon after, dragged across the ground, heels scoring tracks in the muck of the forest floor until they too lay sprawled beside me, the saloon gal, like me face up and staring sightlessly at nothing and Rose on her side, her rounded ass pointing back toward the wagon and her beautiful breasts scrunched over each other. Then finally came the gal wot taught school looking pretty amazed at this whole turn of events. They perched her in front of the hole and kind of kicked her body in. Her corpse landed with a soft thump on the soft earth at the bottom. Next they half dragged, half carried the dead saloon gal over to the hole and dumped her in. She landed across the other occupant of the hole, her soft dead breasts squishing down on the schoolteacher's back.
Next it was Rose's turn and they shoved and pushed her across the dirt with their feet until she too fell into the pit and landed face up across the other two, her limp dead arched back pose accentuating her beautiful breasts, and wiv her glazed wide open eyes shining in the dim light of dusk.
Finally it was my turn. Grabbing an arm and a leg each they lifted me up and dropped me into the hole in the ground. I landed with a soft thump on the pile of feminine flesh beneath. By some chance I landed so that my face and Rose's were together, mouth on mouth, lips opened on lips, pussy against pussy. Lovers at the end!!
My arm had kind of caught on the side of the hole so it was sticking up backwards at right angles to my dead body, and I had skidded onto Rose's arched corpse so that my butt just protruded above ground level. The two men gave it a few solid kicks, but that grave was a tight fit and I just jiggled and shuddered and dribbled a bit over Rose's parted lips.
"Hmmmm", says the undertaker, "just a tad shallow"
"Drag out the bodies and dig it deeper?" says the kid.
"Naaaah" says the undertaker, "just mound up the dirt a bit".
The guys had bought shovels with them and they started dumping the mound of earth back into the hole. Quite quickly the pile of female bodies, limbs, breasts and torsos disappeared inside the steady inflow of soil. All except my outstreched hand that is, and my butt!!
So the undertaker and the kid pack up and take off and it's gloomy and lonesome out there but who should happen by but a couple of drunken cowboys.
"Say pard" sez one (Lot of that pard talk in the west there was). Anyway he sez "Hey Pard. Ain't that a femeenine butt stickin out of the ground?".
"And shucks" sez his pard, "ain't that a femeenine hand?"
"One way to find out" sez the first drunken cowboy "let's try 'em out for size"!!
So they release there enormous scimitar like dicks from their chaps and one slaps his into my clawed hand and the other goes to work on my butt until they both explode forth and goop and jism dribble down over my hand and arm and my exposed backside in a most undignified manner. Meantime deep in the dirt amongst the tangle of dead female bodies my face is sliding grittily over Rose's and our lips are slobbering together as the last vestiges of dribble and cum moisten our intertwined tongues.
Having done their deed the drunken satisfied cowboys lurch into the dusk.
Maybe now a gal can claim a bit of dignity in death.
But darkness is falling and the beasts of the forest begin to creep out and survey this new addition to their environment. And what ghastly furry creature is looking MIGHTY interested and approaching with a somewhat lustful expression on it's beastly face. And is that a line forming????
Aww shucks. What a way for a gal to face eternity!!!
Sigh!!