Posted by NL on August 06, 2007 at 14:24:33:
The Flying Saucer Menace-- Part 3
In time, a few people began to understand that Flying Saucers were not only real, and from Outer Space, but that they were also capable of ruining one's day. A great, green, glowing and even growing and glowering blob of crackling fire appeared in the sky above Oinkville one day, right about noon, and right about the time the noon lunch whistle sounded at the big Toxic Garbage plant that provided most of the town's best paying jobs. It was in November that this happened, 1949. A Mr. Amos Mutt, lunch bucket in hand, walked outside the gate with some of his fellow employees. He was brushing bits of toxic filth off of this coveralls and happened to glance up and see that swirling ball of green fire. It was reported that he never was quite the same again. Instead of sitting down and eating his lunch out of doors at one of the picnic tables provided by the International Toxic Garbage Corporation, he just kept on walking until he had walked home. He found his young wife at the ironing board. She was surprised to see him home. He went straight to his dresser and from the drawer that contained his stock of men's magazines he extracted the old .41 revolver he also kept there, nestled among the tits and ass, and shot his wife between her breasts. Then he stipped her naked and fucked her. He did not eat his baloney sandwiches. He ate, in a sense, his dead wife's pussy but only after coming inside of her several times. The order was way off. He'd never have done those things in that sequence before. Those who testified at his trial later described him as a man of regular habits, a real regular fellow. Of course, several others were witness that day to the odd ball of green fire. All in all, the Flying Saucer was visible for about five minutes and it ruined the day for several men and women. One woman is said to have disemboweled herself in the street in front of her house with a steak knife. She was clad only in a bra, a white, cotton bra. While she held her intestines in her hands she is said to have challenged passing strangers to have a go at her. She seemed to be in a strange sort of suicidal erotic frenzy. A lot of crazed sex crimes were committed that day in Oinkville. Investigators attributed the Flying Saucer to gaseous emanations from a toxic spill that had occured in the TGP's parking lot that morning. Neurotoxins contained in that spill were also invoked to explain all the odd and murderous and suicidal acts of that day. What a day! A few photographs survive. Some of them are available on the internet, digitized for all to enjoy.
When the Flying Saucers arrive they leave a trail of dead, nude, or scantily clad women in their wake-- shot, stabbed, strangled and sexually abused. Panels of scientists have not yet able to discover the reasons for that odd connection. But all agree that it is very interesting. Some people say that the Flying Saucers are merely gusts of psychic energy, but why the psychic energy should be so lethal, and so lethal in that precise and disturbing manner, has not been explained. All over this great land of ours, the people clamor for explanations that make sense, that are satisfying in some deep spiritual sense. Mr. Mutt felt victimized and wanted to damn well know why. Who could blame him? He rejected the neurotixic shit explanation because for years and years he had worked around toxic shit. Like most Americans he ate toxic shit, inhaled toxic shit, bathed in toxic shit and shat toxic shit all his life and why would he, out of all those others equally poisoned, be the one to commit such mayhem? It just didn't seem reasonable. Besides, when it suited the powers that be, the big corporate giants-- gods among men-- that toxic shit was said not to be so bad. Be a man! Stop wimpering! Yah want the goddamn government to protect you from everything! Sissy! Wimp! But when it suited them, oh yeah, then the toxic shit made you go crazy and made you kill your sweet young thing or someone else's sweet young thing, and rather than admit that malignant forces from beyond the stars intervened in human affairs and took control and turned ordinary folks into victims (even those who killed those sweet things and fucked the corpses were in that sense victims) THEN they would invoke toxic shit. But still you were somehow culpable. You weren't man enough to resist the toxic shit. You still had "choice" and "free will" whatever the shit that meant.
Most, if questioned, would probably tell you that the Flying Saucers seemed not to give a damn about things like justice and fairness, at least not as human beings understand the words. Flying silently through the sky at 4000 mph and leaving nothing but dead female (SEXY dead female bodies) behind them, they really seemed not to give a damn about human values, or val-yers. And that was a shame. What might we learn from Flying Saucers! If only they would speak to us!
A man in Ohio, whose exact name and location must not be revealed resolved to contact the Flying Saucers by mental telegraphy. He wired an automobile battery to his ears to boost the current and thought thoughts of some sort known only to him, while electrons coursed up and down and all around his brain, while squatting in his backyard one summer evening in 1957. After a few minutes his ears were badly singed. He got up stiffly and unsteadily and went inside his modest frame house, into his bedroom he went and out from under the socks wadded up in his sock drawer he pulled an old .38 police special revolver. He went next to the house across the street where a rather attractive divorcee lived, alone. That young woman enjoyed sunbathing in her front yard. She wore the merest scrap of a bikine, a pink bikini, in fact, while sunbathing. She had been sunbathing that very afternoon, which had been a Saturday afternoon. The man from Ohio just walked in, pushing open her unlocked front door and since the hour was late he found her in her bathroom where she had obviously been preparing for bed. He found her seated on her toilet in a short, sheer negligee reading a screen magazine. Her eyes widened and she sat up straight when the man from Ohio entered her bathroom. He shot her in her stomach. He stripped her body naked and laid her out upon her bed and fucked her nude big-breasted body with what we must imagine (for such is the Flying Saucer Menace) to have been fierce and unnatural vigor. Later he disclaimed all knowledge. Yes, he played dumb. But astute police work revealed the sturdy Autolite battery in the man's backyard, the two wire leads with clips on the end. Combine that with his singed ears, and the man from Ohio was revealed for all to see. Now we might ask: was the man from Ohio a victim of toxic shit, or a plaything of star angels soaring above, astride their flaming flying saucer disks of imperishable dura-looooonium?