Posted by LR on August 28, 2003 at 08:46:04:
Datelines by LR
Tasty necro-flavored news
“By the time sixteen naked and expired bimbos were piled in my garage, I had done enough babe-zapping to learn the strengths and weaknesses of each product . . .”
Zap, Crackle, Pop: Home Electrocution Kits Part 1
Product Scout Molly Branch tests four new babe-zappers
(Consumer Journal, September 2003)
By Molly Branch
BOR-ING
I used to think it would always feel exciting to kill a nude babe, no matter how I did it. But over time, most of us learn otherwise – whether you terminate one girl a year or one a week, it’s easy to fall into a rut. With me it’s strangle, stab, strangle, stab, with an occasional drowning or beheading for variety.
Hence the growing appeal of novel technologies for killing young women. Macro-Mart “superstores” now display dozens of killing products in their popular “Take Her Out” boutiques, while slavekiller.com sold fourteen million dollars in products last year. You and I aren’t the only folks hoping to liven up the slaughter experience!
SSSSSIZZLE!!!
Electrocution has always held lots of appeal as a fun alternative to plain old skull-bashing. Quivering bare flesh, sizzling skin, plenty of level-ten pain – what’s not to like, right? Unfortunately, successfully electrocuting a naked woman is a little more challenging that you might expect.
Take the electrical-appliance-in-the-bathtub approach. If you’ve never tried it – don’t. A few years back I tied up a luscious African girl, immersed her in a tub of warm water, and tossed in my old toaster.
There was a loud pop, the lights went out, and I ended up with two hundred bucks worth of electrical repair. The girl’s dark silky skin was hardly singed. I held her head under water and drowned her while I talked to an electrician on my cell phone.
ZZZZZAAAP!!!
Full-fledged electric chairs can be had from those high-end tech-toy outlets, starting at around six thousand dollars. Install an additional grand in high-voltage wiring, and you’re ready to heat ‘em at home with complete reliability and control.
For the rest of us, there are home electrocution kits that operate on household current. These kits are designed to overcome pesky technical obstacles like catastrophic fires, destroyed circuits, etc. They also use various methods to ensure a girl’s actual death, so you don’t have to finish her off with a claw hammer after running up your power bill.
I tested four popular, UL-approved models right in my own home, by electrocuting four babes with each kit.
By the time sixteen naked and expired bimbos were piled in my garage, I had done enough babe-zapping to learn the strengths and weaknesses of each product.
TOYZ
Home kits come with some standard tools and gadgets that all work pretty much the same way:
Pelvic conductors resemble dildos that strap inside the girl instead of outside. A harness secures the eight-inch rods inside the girl’s cunt and/or anus, usually running a narrow cord underneath to expose the pussy lips. The rods usually connect to the transformer with simple plug-in cables, although one cumbersome model had wires permanently fixed to the belt.
The electrode collar, as you can probably guess, needs to fit snugly around the girl’s neck so current can pass through her spinal column and torso to the other electrodes.
Peripheral electrodes usually fasten to the babe’s nipples, labia, feet, tongue, etcetera. These conductors concentrate heat and current, and thus enhance suffering.
The transformer in UL-approved units will include a circuit breaker. A rheostat, usually a knob or lever, allows you to increase or decrease current into the girl.
Whichever product you purchase, follow those instructions to the letter, and check out the “Dos and Don’ts of Home Electrocution” at the end of this article!
NEXT: Four product reviews!