Posted by Kojak on September 26, 2004 at 09:00:06:
Cindy was lost in her dreams.....
Captain Ralph scratched his grizzled beard then he scratched his ass then he scratched his ear then he dug a bugger out of his nose & flicked it into the wind...the sun was just coming up off the coast of Greenland. The cold wind was shifting about along the leeward shore.....his pants were slipping downards as he again hiked them up...'Dammit Pippi I need a new belt!' He bellowed loudly....Pippi appeared from below the deck in response to the Captn.'s words. Pippi was a displaced Cuban Transexual seaman...his world was a small one, Captain Ralph's boat. Captain Ralph was never going to let Pippi go ashore it seemed, for Captain Raplph had a thing for Pippi.....Pippi still remembered the day she was pulled from the waters off Cuba in a failed attempt to escape the dictatorship of Cuban President Ricardo Montenezzo's father the questionable Castro Castenanada. Now she was a prisoner. She had thrown several messages in bottles into the raging sea over the last 10 years in the futile hope of a recue.....She hated Greeenland & she hated Captain Ralph, who took her in the evening hours to watch star fish by the moonlight along the various shoals whilst sipping on grog...then she would be forced to satisfy his desires.....she hated it....he loved it yet deep inside she liked it.
Pippi materialized wearing a full length sheer green sequin gown & high heels of black patent leather.....her figure was slim...her hair long & black...'Waht das myeee Captin Wish for?" 'A belt God Dammit! I can't be the Captain if my pants keep falling down!' Captn. Ralph boomed in reply....Pippi shrugged & made lewd motions with her left hand in the Captain's direction...Captain Ralph grunted his disapproval & again tried to hitch up his pants as he steered the helm hard to the leeward side, directing the boat further inland in search of the cove called tiny man cove.......as he cranked the wheel hard towards the shore he yelled 'I oughta teach you a lesson U Cuban bitch!'.
Black Bart, was a rival sea Captain & hated Captain Ralph with a passion...as his boat came along side Captain Ralph's he boomed in a voice crackling with fetid disrespecet..'Captain Ralph! We be boarding your ship to take that Pippi winch along with us, for we needs a new deck hand!'...Captain Ralph, hearing this replied back across the windy expanse between them...'Shiver me timbers if U do, U sea dog, Pippi stays with me.....how did U sneak up on me U bastard!' Was his reply.....
Cindy was combing her hair (in her dream)when there was a knock at the door....getting up to answer it she suddenly felt nothing as a bullet hole appeared between her eyes.....
Captain Ralph unzipped his pants...'Come & get some U scurvy barnickle encrusted son of a lampray bastard...' Was his challange.....He laughed at his own words, for Black Bart was known as a 'hard head' amongst the seaing community & one given to rash actions. As if not to dissappoint, Captain Bart jumped into a waiting row boat & directing his crew of 4 seaman, they began frantically rowing towards Captain Raplh's ship, the hard wooden prow of the small boat smashing into the surf & parting the waters with it's unforgivingingly hard wooden front part....
'Avast, come not closer or I will blow U out of the water U treacherous seaweed draped bottom feeder!' Captain Ralph said......Pippi was getting nervous, how could two grown men act so childish? After all she was not even a real woman! But evidently, one of her messages had reached Captain Bart. She liked to drink beer, fart, scratch her ass & generally act like a slut...hmmm, maybe men found that attractive? Regardless, Captain Ralph again was having pants problems, this time, as he lurched towards the fordeck in order to obtain a pistol his pants fell about his ankles resuulting in the Captain falling face first onto the deck....
Bart, seeing this burst out in laughter then yelled across the ever decreasing distance between them....'Come now Captain, U can but barely keep your pants on U scurvy bastard, better to surrender your ship & that Miss Pippi than risk further emberressment, you can be my cabin boy & I'll get thee some new knickers...!'
Captain Ralph was about the reply pulling up his pantaloons when he had a massive loss of balance as the ship lurched & he keeled over the side of the boat like a stuck tuna..his body was floundering most unceremoniouslly on the ocean waters close to the ship when Bart, excited at this sight launched his huge harpoon from a distance of not more than 10 feet. The shaft found it's way into Captain Ralph's ass....Captain Ralph screeched. 'U Scurvy bastard, U feed me iron? I'll take that harpoon & make U eat it!'. 'Hah. better start towards the shore U unworthy salt...I have your ship & Pippi!'. With that reply Bart boarded with the boat crew....
Pippi shuddered & adjusted her gown...Bart closed in on her & ripped the dress of her.....when he saw the true anatomical nature of his prize he scolwed & placing his pistol to her forehead he blew out her brains.....Pippi was then fucked by the horny crew & they ended up tossing her corpse into the waters, her dress was tattered, her hair a mess, her brains were seeping out of her head, the sight was a terrible one & Captain Bart only chuckled at the scene.
Captain Ralph flopped, swam, wounded, to shore & was found by a group of Greenlanders out on a nature hike.....Captain Ralph amazingly was still alive though the worse for wear....as he lurched about & crept to dry land his pants again fell off......'Balls!' He muttered..'I needs me a new crew & a new ship & some decent pants with a belt'. With that he again pulled up his pants & secured them with some handy seaweed. With that done he began chasing the nature group about the shore line jabbing at them with the harpoon, limping along & screeching obscenities as only an old salt can, things like "U land lubbing bow legged flatfish sons of ledger writing tax mongers, I'll skewer you all & roast your caracasses on the poop deck for the mere spite of it in all that the great sea gods hold dear, oh my ass, you'll pay with your lives for this, my Pippi, what has become of thee, Oh Cuba, U bastards, it hurts, my ass!' etc. etc.....
Life was good after all....Captain Ralph would live to fight another day.....Cindy lay in a pool of her own blood...her dream of Captian Ralph had ended as had her life....her brains were pudding, she pissed her pants. the end