Posted by Jennifer Kilmey on December 04, 2000 at 11:24:38:
I am a broken hearted girl, abandoned by my lover. Oh, Rom, how could you leave me? I am wearing a long white nightie. There is nothing underneath. Just my slender body. I stand on the chair. I have to raise up on tiptoes to reach the noose. I haven't bothered to paint my toenails. There's nobody to see them anyway. I take one last deep breath, and step into the air. The rope crunches down on my tender neck, squeezing tighter, tighter, I hang limp. I don't care, 'till the air hunger makes me start to move. I can't help it. My body doesn't want to die I guess, even if I don't care anymore. My legs begin to kick and twitch. Nobody here to watch the show now though. It doesn't matter how much it hurts to die, or if I'm pretty as I twist and convulse in the final moments of my lonley agony. God, I feel more alone now than ever. How can it take so long to die? Why must I hang here feeling the rope crush my throat, my heart is beating like a drum as I writhe back and forth, my naked thighs rubbing together as my feet pump in a sort of running motion, as though I might somehow run away from the pain... from the loneliness, from death... Where is death? why can't it be over? Two minutes two minutes two minutes? right? Shouldn't it stop now? Fuck, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, It will never stop. I,m a Pagan girl after all, and we all know, Pagan girls go to hell.
I'm in Hell Rom. I miss you.
Jenny