Posted by jamie on May 05, 2002 at 22:20:39:
PART 2
17th March 4986
Robert told me about his father today. In all this time we have been going together I have never met him. His parents are rich. I know that. Robert told me his father and some friends are members of a culler's club.
Every Sunday morning they go to the same training and assessment school I will have to go to if I am drafted,. Robert says they go there every week to share a girl. He thinks they take it in turns to actually kill one of them while the others watch.
Robert says his father wants to meet me.
11th April 4986
Robert's father and I had an odd talk tonight. I don't know whether I liked it or not. He could have been truly concerned for me, but I just don't know.
He talked about how he thought it must be very bad for a girl to be killed by a stranger, how some girls he had enjoyed had been the daughters of friends and knowing him had helped them. He said his group always tried to choose a girl one of them knew. The club member who knew the girl always was the one to kill her so she might be less frightened and would not have to suffer as much as a stranger might want her to.
I did not know what he was getting at so he explained that he was a friend of the Governor of the selection school and, if I wanted, he could arrange to come for me immediately I graduated from the introductory and orientation course.
I was terribly confused. I asked him what he meant by come for me.
He told me he would be happy to process me himself if I wanted, that his preference with girls he knew was to gently strangle her manually as it was a much more personal way to process girls and it also allowed for her to be killed with as little pain as possible.
I was appalled. I thought he was saying he would come and take me home. I asked him if he meant it, that he really wanted to kill me.
He told me he liked me and certainly did not want to hurt me, but if I had to die, well, he thought I might prefer him to do it than some stranger. He said it would make him very happy to help me that way. He kept looking at my neck.
I ran from his house, but did think about what he said that night. Perhaps it would be better to be killed by someone I knew. Surely if he knew me he would do it so it would not hurt me so much. I never got much sleep that night thinking about what it would be like to be killed by him rather than someone I did not know.
I spoke to the school councillor about his offer and she told me not to have anything to do with Robert's father again. She said I must understand that only four out of ten girls from each draft are required to submit to the cull, the rest are allowed to go home once the rest of them are dead. If I agreed to his idea, I would be the first to be killed with no hope of going home.
Then she asked me if I knew what sort of a club Robert's father was in and I said I thought it was one of the many culling clubs men could join. The Councillor said that that was only part of it and had I noticed there was a particular group of boys and girls in the school who befriended the most pretty girls while most other students tended not to and I said I had noticed Robert was friends with some kids who liked to be seen with the prettiest girls, but so what?
Then she told me that all these kid's fathers were in the same cullers club and these kids were paid extra allowances if they could get friendly with the pretty girls who were sure to be selected for the draft. They then took the girls them to meet their fathers who would pressure those girls into to letting them kill them if they were selected for the training and selection school and then I realised Robert didn't care for me at all and only took me to his dad so his dad could talk me into letting him strangle me.
I never saw my boy friend again after that. Well I had to at school, but I never went with him again. He said he did not care as I was not allowed to have sex anyway. He said I would killed while still a virgin.
Why do they want a girl to be still a virgin when she is selected to be killed. I wonder if she is still after she is dead- whether they allow the client to have the girl before killing her or use her afterwards maybe then I remembered reading somewhere that it is not allowed to sexually molest selected girls.
They must get their pleasure just from killing them.
None of it is fair although I am glad, I suppose, if that is the rule.
27th June 4986
My eighteenth birthday and they came again, the same doctor to check me over for health and any blemishes on my body and the same assessor to assess me for eligibility for drafting. I hate it the way they run their hands over you. Surly the assessor can tell if I have developed in beauty by looking, but he says it helps him examine a girl to touch her at the places he is examining, says it helps find any faults on her skin.
There were none to find.
They called my mother in then and said that it was their duty to inform her that I had been assessed as being a group "AA plus" quality girl and as such was obliged to submit myself for induction into the West London Selection and Training School, Bureau of Female Population Control at eight the following morning.
My parents tried to tell me that I probably would not be chosen, that there was sure to be lots of girls more beautiful than me who would be culled, but I am terribly frightened. I cried a lot tonight.