Posted by Israeli guy on December 15, 2004 at 05:21:24:
ProfX was outraged. "The more I look at it, the more it's becoming clear ! This election was stolen ! I'm now getting a report about a rural farm in south Dakota. The pigs ate all the chicken before the election, and statistics shows that chicken are 85% democrat."
"Let me have this !", said Cheryl while dragging behind her a case labeled "FACTS !". She grabbed ProfX's last datum with shaky hands. "We have to let our representatives know about this. I will stop at nothing letting people know the FACTS. I'm sure that when everyone hear about the FACTS, they will do something."
"Yes but why are you yelling every time you say 'facts'", asked ProfX.
"I don't know, it just comes naturally to me. Isn't that a strange FACT ?" replied Cheryl.
"It's beyond this phase, I'm afraid." Said Sam in an authoritative tone. "Our representatives and FOX news have decided to cover up the truth. We can't just sit here and wait for the likes of Rush to prevent true democracy. We have to defend the constitution !"
"What can we do ?" asked Cheryl, obviously worried.
"Fear not." Sam answered calmly. "My huge analytic brainpower is now focused on compiling all the data I got from 'nowhearthisfolks!.com', 'amazingthings.com', 'shockingthruths.com', 'mindblowing.com' and 'superduh.org'. Once I have finished doing this we can make our move."
"What are we to do ?" asked Cheryl.
"It depends. It might be that it turns out that the vote was real. You have to remember that this is scientific work and after a careful investigation ... if, say, and I'm just saying, we find out that there was no big deviation in the computerized vote ..."
"Enough of this crap !" interfered ProfX. "Computer votes are stolen ! Paper votes are distorted ! It's all one big scam ! I didn't vote for Bush ! You didn't vote for Bush ! She didn't vote for Bush ! did anyone here vote for Bush ?"
No one answered.
"If this was the Ukrain we wouldn't even have that conversation ! It's all up to us to make sure this won't just pass." continued ProfX vigorously. "All reason has failed. Our slimy little so called Democrat representatives will just let this pass. It's up to us I tell you !"
His foaming mouth left no room for mistake.
"I appoint myself leader of this rebellion !" Declared ProfX. "Sam and Cheryl : you are first officers ! And ..." ProfX looked worried.
"What's the problem ?" Asked Cheryl.
"We need cheerleaders. No teem ever won without them." ProfX explained.
"I'm on top of this." Said Sam calmly. His voice warm and reassuring. He went and immediately came back with Kimnikki and Rathead wearing cheerleader outfits. "One two three four ! Steal elections - Get a war ! Goooooo rebels !" they were going.
"Good, then we're all set." Said ProfX. "Sam ! you will run from the south, taking all southern states. Cheryl ! you do the north. I will run strait to DC, and we will join forces there. We will take capitol hill by surprise from three different directions ! Synchronize our watches ! I will see you there in three minutes."
"I have a better Idea." Suggested Sam. His evident leadership qualities enhancing his position as first officer. "We can just wait for them to come and get us."
"But no one is coming," remarked ProfX.
"I guess that means we won." Said Cheryl. "Let's just ask Luthor to make sure."
"Here's looking at you, kid." Said Luthor.
"This isn't enough," Said ProfX. "Let's ask Rathead."
"Of course you're right, ProfX." Said Rathead with a comforting German accent.
"We have confirmation !" Said ProfX excited. "I declare myself dictator of this land as I felt was right from a very early age. From now on everyone will have to read the NY times and pass a test about it at the end of the year ..."
He was interrupted by IG saying "Hey man, how much is a hot dog ?"
ProfX was puzzled : "I'm ruler of the land ! I don't sell hot dogs."
"Oops, sorry." replied IG. "You just looked this way to me."
Israeli guy.