Posted by Grizz on September 22, 2001 at 17:04:23:
my penis looked at me and said "let's sing a duet." I agreed reluctantly at first because its been years since we sang together. So we sang "Me and My Shadow" except we changed the words to "Me and My Penis" the way we used to sing on stage. My penis does a great soft-shoe too, a real song-and-dance man.
We also sang the Green Acres song, but WE sing:
Grizz: "You are my penis"
Penis: "Goodbye city life"
Together: "Green Acres we are there"
Afterward, we were laughing and laughing. We were singing "in" jokes like "Pink Cadillac". I hadn't seen him THIS happy in years. He's a sopranno of course, and I was surprised that after all these years his voice was still as strong and clear as a bell. I got kind of sentimental. And then I remembered ... his best song. I signed deeply and asked "Would you sing "Ben" for me, Penis?" He said "A-a-alright", took a deep breath and then just started singing, acapella ...
"Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You've got a friend in me"
Ahh, it was beautiful. Originally sung to perfection by a 13 year old Michael Jackson. A masterpiece, sung for a movie no one liked, about a lonely boy and his rat no one liked.
(IMDB)...
(lyrics)
Penis hit every high note, remembered every word of every verse. But would he remember the last word like he used to sing? Would he change the last word just for me. Would he remember? I listened.
"Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
Like Ben
Like Penis"
He remembered! "Ah Penis", I said "you're a gem to stay true all these years, attached to a lout like me, always seeking your special place in the world. Penis, I'm going to find you a home, a real home. A real vagina just like you've always wanted. Warm and juicy, like you deserve."
So, this is my appeal to everyone out there, all you wonderful people. Would you give Penis a home? You, yes you, the lady in accounting. Or maybe you, the woman in the flower shop. Or maybe you, the young cheerleader. Maybe you have a sister or an aunt that could provide a place of warmth to a deserving penis. Even if you have never done so before now, please answer my appeal for Penis's sake. Look into that special place in your heart and give my Penis a home.
Take care and God bless.