A confession of HATE

Posted by Blue_Dreams on August 15, 2000 at 18:30:58:

Disclaimer: I don`t care if you are 18 or 7, I don`t chose for you, I don`t warn you against what`s "bad", and I don`t know if this is bad or not,but this is me, and this is true

A Confession of Hate
By Blue_Dreams

Life....
Some poeple live it, the way they want.. and some do what THEY want, and just keep surviving
THEY want rules, and want them to be followed, the more strict the better
THEY also want suits, and neckties, and college degrees . . THEY want manners, THEY want soberness, THEY want sanaty.
Well, what`s wrong with what THEY want? nothing in fact, except that it`s THEY who want it and I damn fuckin HATE THEM !
That was what was running through my mind when Amy was there, playing the piano.
To anybody else , she would seem a operfect girl..
So cultured, so delicate , so pretty . . her thing long well trained fingers taunting the notes so softly and cleverly, her aristocratic face smilling innocently with the joy that the music brings, her music.
A sight that would make any of you admire her.
A sight that fills me with utter mind boggling disgust.
Imagine with me, as I look at her playing, all those hours she must have spent training, every damn day, imagine the fuckin descipline she must have so obediently followed in order to train her fingers to strike the right note, and her ears to ccatch the right ttone, folowing rules, following rules, following rules.
And what does she get at the end? A natural gift like that of Mozart of beathoven? a natural sense of tnes and harmony, nooo, just a technical that even a robot one day can master if he`s fed with the right rules!
I wonder how can this technical skill, so hardly earned through painfull training can save her tonight..
For me, music is a word of its own, and it`s keys i`m born with.
I never realy believed in descipline and stupid training to gain a skill, all you need is some sense, and some brains, and some understanding in the nature of things, TRưUE nature of things.
It`s this difference between me and her, between me and THEM, between me and YIOU damn slave who keep craving with dust in throat along your life that gives me the right to do waht i do.
Am I mad? Am I SICK? Am I at leas damn fuckin IMMORAL? come and say to me honey, come, come, come.. i`ll be always waiting.
In fact you`d never think of doing so, why shgould you? I`m just a perfectly normal guy , just like 6 billion other perfectly normals who fill the streets and pollute the earth with their wastes and rotten thoughts, with their useless breath.
And it`s this breath which i silense.,slowly..gently,,one by one.
When shall I be stopped? someday, maybe soon, maybe late, but surely before I reach the throat of number 6 billion.
Anyway, not tonight, for the victim is here, and we are alone, and she likes me, she damn fuckin likes me, and no matter what kind of thoughts wich might go through her lazy programmed brain tonight, she sure thinks she`s SAFE :)
I approach her clapping, watching, smiling
she reclines back into her seat, smiling back and looking at me.
If there is something I realy loath in her, it`s her smile..
So pure and innocent, so unaware that life is real, and that it`s full of shit, and that the word is never safe for the silly and the defenseless, not even if he tries to be better by learning and training new skills, especialy if this skill is the aristocratic art of playing piano.
She had cheaks, round and nice, and her light grean eyes were radiant of a color which reminds you of the pastures on which cows feed, and wide where her eyes like those of these helpless cows
as for the body, it was a oerfect soecimen, slender and tall, nice full upright breasts . . and that long creamy throat upon which her healthy aristocratic face with its strong jaw bones and pretty chin is throned.
she was sitting on the chair when i approached her, smilling and looking up at me, asking me if i liked what she played.
I suddenly told her to stand up, startled, still smiling, she did.
"what...." she asked, when i gently palced my bare hands around her throat as she rose to her feet
her throat was cold , seems so thrilling to touch , she had a not very prominant addam aple, but i could fel it beneeth my palm, I slowly adjusted my thumbs beneath her perfect chin, and my fingers slowly met behind the nape of her neck, geting entwined with her hair there.
"Swallow", I said, firmly
"what? why.. I.."she said uncompregensivly
"just swallow, trust me", i answered, firm and matter of factly
She did.
Well, i can`t explain to you the kind of joy I get from such a simple action, but the feeling of her throat structure moving and undialating below my palm was unexplicable, and just as her adam apple was lowered down in her swallowing movement, i tightened my grip
"Uggh, uuhhmmm", she replied in a stupid tone that realy fits her, after all its a shame to watch such creatures talk normal language, seems like they are pretenfing, it`s gasps that really fir the stupidity of a pretty piano playing girl.
I didn`t tighten more3, just watched her.
"uughgghghaaah..aaaahh..waaahhaay? " she asked clumsily, her hands now clutching at mine, her eyes show a terrible expression of unease and protest, that`s what arostocratic girls do yo fight life? protest with their cow like wide eyes? well, lets see how well can that do in such a situation..
I tightened my grip more, so slowly, itwas about 4 or 5 minutres of us standing like that, she gasping and trying to use those pitifull felicate hands of hers to release her pretty neck, her finres , which ere supposed to gain some strength from their piano training, where as good as if they where mafe of spagetti.
Her face reddened remarkebly, and ker eyes bulged, not with protest now, but with real terror, I dug upward with mu thumbs into the softness of the slin below her chin, soon her hands started to slaken and her begadn to flatter, her gasps became short "aahhgh..aaahhgh..aah..aahh."
slowly, gently, I released her down on the chair.
She stod there motionless and gasping big gulps of air at first, then slowly her hand went to her throat, as if trying to fix what I did, I stood there watching, amused,and lit a ciggarette
"Wah..why?" she asled, still holding her neck
I smiled and sat down, toke a breath from my ciggarette and said nothing
"Why? what`s wrong? are u crazy?"she craocked
"Well.." I puffed" lets say I didn`t like ur playing.. ",
"wha..? hell you gone nutz!, u nearly killed me!!!"
"Yes.. and I will kill you, right after I finish that ciggarette, hope strangulation will fit you as a method, cause I love it"
What?? what ? why?"she kept on the stream of stupidity
"Cause I like you neck, and HATE YOUR DAMN FUCKIN GUTS", I said
She looked at me startled for a few seconds, then as soon as the reality of the situation finaly reached her lazy dura matter, she dashed towards the door.
I watched finishing my ciggarette as she tried to open the door, in vain.
I stood uop and started walking towards her
"Open the door, open the damn door at once or you are in real trouble you damn sick idiot" she screamd at me
"Trouble? shitm do u really think it`s ME who`s gonna be in damn trouble?? are you kidding? ", I said calmly as I kept approaching
Don`t you come near to me, don`t you move one more step you bastard or i`ll scream, I`ll.."
I splapped her, had too, twice.
she collapsed on the floor crying, holding my pants
"Don`t kill me, pleeeease pleease don`t kill me, why are you doing this? pleeeeease"she whailed
"well.. "I said, gesturing that the situation is outta my hands
"come on, i`ll do anything, anything you want, and I won`t tell any one, ill please you, i`ll do anything", she screamed hystericaly
"Well, will you consider a blow job", i said calmly as if discussing abusiness transaction
"Blow job? ..yeah..sure, blow job sure, yeah, i`ll do that, i`ll do that, please"she cried eagerly
"Alright", I said as I pulled out the gun from below my Shirt, it looks like a colt, but propably most idiots who know anything about guns will know from the first site it`s just a toy.
"What? why that gun? I`ll do what you asked me, I`ll promise",she screamed as she saw the toy and looked away , her words were said so fast I could hardly understand them
"Calm down, calm down, this is just to make sure you wont try to bite my bullet so hard honey, you know, any bad move and just like that old song of queen..bam, and you`re dead" i said as I placed the gun on her skull"now open my zipper"
She quickly unzipped me, trembling with fear and her clumsy fingers worked their way inside my pants and underwear and pulled out my erection, a short moment of hesitation, then the thing was in her mouth
"hey hey, didn`t they teach you at that fancy college to lick it first?that better be done well if uyou wanna see your mama again" I ordered
She pulled it out and started kicking as her fingers , trembling and clumsy, rubbed the shaft,I have to admit she toke her time and did it well and slowly, propably thinking that as long as she`s doing that she`ll stay alive, and propably hoping that if it ended well, she`ll go home and have her chance of putting me to jail .
But, whatever went through her mind, she acted as a somalian famine strck child getting to hold a bar of candy, she sucked with a skill that most woman would envy.
her fingers played with my balls so gently, her tongue quivered on tyhe head of my dick, and when the pushed it deper in her throat, hr neck muscles danced so nicely around it that I delt like squeezing it once again around it till her silly soul comes out to be splashed with my semen, yet I refrained myself and let her do her womnderfull work
"hey honey, i`m cummin now, damn i`ll b cummin like hell, so slowallow it
"mmmph?" she muttered
"Swallow it all , every damn drop you bitch", I screamed as i stuck the muzzel of the pistol to hear forhead and cummed into her throat like I never did.
She kept sowallowing obediently till the lasty drop, I copuld`ve sworn that her fear had a smell.
"that was good", i said to her, who where avoiding eye contact, prtending to be bussy cleaning my dick with her tongue, trying not to face what`s next
"That was good honey", I smiled
"Yeah?" she said with hope, trying to force a snikle" did you enjoy it?""Yes, very much i have to admit.. but.." I answered
"but? . ." she wondered, about to cry again
"but that was insulting, I mean.. how come you belived that i`d let you go home just because you blowd me? do you think I`ll let you go ? I sthat how stupid you think I am?"
"but.. but i wont tell any one, I wont, pleeease, I love you", she screamed
Well, she asked for it, the test, and I sure would give her her last chance :)
"Love me? " I said"do you know what`s love?"
" I love you i swear, I `ll do anything for you, anythingb you ask me to, I swear I`ll do"she screamed again, words as fast as bullets
"hey, don`t you sound like briad adams here?" i laughed as i layed the gun on the chair and raised her up, she laughed to, quite hystericaly
" I.. I realy do love you, If it`s blow jobs you want i`ll do it any time", she smiled, trembling
"Well,love honey is not blowjobs, its trust" I said as I rose up and went to the piano to my little bar near the piano to poor me some wine, when i heared the click
I didn`t turn around, and i heared the toy un clicking six times as I poured myself some red wine, when I finished my glass and turned around she was colapssing on the floor, looking at the gun and crying.
"And trust is what you fail at, you stupid thing, omce again your stupidity makes u belive you can fool me? you can make me trhow the gun so recklessly and give my back to you?"
"I`m sorry" she saidm wide eyed, as she crawled away on the floor while I approached her"i`m sorry, i was nervous, pleease, noo, noooo"
I wnt down to hair and pulled her standing by the hands, then once again, my fingers cuddled themselves around her throat, this time it was warm, and her fast heart beat was like live little animals in my grip.
She closed her eyes, the coward bitch, she closed her eyes and prayed while I once again pushed my thumbs into the helpless softness of the throat, pushing right oon her adams apple, so hard she must`ve felt she swallowed an egg, she didn`t plead much, must`ve been too damed shoked and desperate to do any thing..all she did was that her hands rose to mine reflexivly, long manquired nails trembling on my writs as butterflies
I kept pushing my thumbs further and squeezing the sides of her neck so tightly with my fingers till he tongue started protruding, that only added to her ultimate stupidity as that fat pink thing oozed out and glistened, trembling and quivering till it reached the tip of her lovely chin, her eyes started rolling in their sokets as her body trembled, she kept salowinga nd trying to gasp and it felt like heaven, every move she made was a lovely carease to my palms that felt so errotic that I felt like thanking her :)
I squeezed more, her eyes falling bakwards, and her tongue getting as purple as the rest of her face, tremors rippled through her young body as her hyoid broke slowly beneath my fingers . . not untill ten minutes latter when i finaky released her column of soft bruised flesh and let her fall on the floor like a sake of potatoes, then triumphantly, i placed my saftey shoe on her neck, and pressed, and pressed,and pressed, hearing funny pittifull sounds of things breaking helplessly below it.

The cutting of the body, the use of the blender, and the bloiling and paking tole the rest of the day..then it would take three weaks to dumb the contents of the last pack in my toilet`s ditch..no trace..no body..no case :)

One stupid creature gone, another 6 billion to go..you`re one of`em, so I `d really love to hear your point of view :)