Posted by Barbanne on March 15, 2000 at 16:37:12:
THE CLEANING LADIES.
By Nona.
I'm a cleaning lady.
That's what I do.
That's why I wear a figure hugging spandex costume that emphasises my curves and bumps, and that's why I carry a Glock nine millimetre with a silencer together with a filleting knife and a garrotte.
I clean up. Clean up the world of it's female population. Not that I pick whom I wipe away into eternity, no, that's done for me. I just pick up a list every Friday and then I have a week to whack whoever's on the list. One in five are guys but the rest are girls. That's why us cleaners are cleaning ladies, not cleaning men. That way our female victims trust us and of course that makes popping them so much easier.
At the end of the millenium it was so obvious that the only way the world would still have any human population in a hundred years time, was if fifty percent of those alive in 1999 disappeared by the year 2010. To make sure the sustainability was ongoing, eighty percent of the doomed fifty percent had to be females. That way breeding rates would stay low and the excess males would die off in a world epidemic of homosexuality.
I didn't invent this solution, no way. The sisterhood came up with the scheme and all I did was get picked as a cleaning lady. I was sixteen in 1999 and would be twenty seven in 2010. At that time, or before if I reached my target, I could become a breeder and I'd get all the sex I wanted, although I'd only be allowed to carry one baby to term every two years. I'm now twenty two and well on target.
This day my first target was a lady called Judy. She was forty one and still a real good looker. She had two daughters, one twenty one called Amy and one eighteen called Jenny. A pair of cute girls. They were all listed for cleaning. The husband, a dentist, wasn't on the list. He would be at work anyway. I rocked up to their place about nine am. It was mid summer and hot. They had a big place on the east side of town. It had a pool and that's where mother and daughters were. They had a little terrier dog with them. My spandex suit says Avon which is a brand of stuff ladies sell to other ladies, so the ladies wouldn't think squat of an Avon lady calling. That's what us cleaning ladies are this year, Avon ladies, except we don't sell much, just hot lead and it's free really. We always have satisfied customers though. Well, we've never heard one complaint.
I pressed the bell.
One of the girls looked around from the pool and said. "It's the Avon lady mum." then Judy looks out and says "Come on back here and show us your stuff dear, it's too damn hot to go inside." I went around to the pool with my little Avon case.
"What have you got to show us that's good this month dear?" said Judy.
"You're going to love this," I said, "It'll just kill you." (my pathetic joke but I laugh at it.)
Judy was on a lounger wearing last year's swimsuit and it was a bit small and she bulged out here and there. Jenny was sitting on the diving board in a teensy weensy bikini and Amy was in the water. I pulled out the Glock and Pow!
The bullet took Judy between the eyes and just above the bridge of her nose and knocked her backwards off the lounger and onto the tiles. She lay there sprawled out like a figure X with her heels still up on the lounger and she was bleeding and made not one movement.
Pow!
I shot Jenny through the left breast, took out her heart and splasho! she toppled into the water.
Pow!
I shot Amy through the head.
Amy went under and then she came up, floating with her arms and legs spread, hair billowing out. Jenny sank down and was sort of half floating, rolling around at the bottom of the pool.
I reloaded the Glock and set out for my second appointment.
Next was Rosemary.
I rang the bell on the inner city terrace house and waited.
The door opened and Rosemary, hugely overweight, was there. She had a loose housecoat on, quite short, and it gaped at the front. Her fat thighs scraped together when she walked and her breasts, like two melons fought to be free of the garment.
"Oh an Avon lady, how nice."
I shot her in her puddingy tummy. The bullet punched her backward and she landed on her back on the hall carpet. She quivered and shook like a plate of jello and her vast thighs rubbed back and forth as she shuddered in pain. The house coat had fallen open and her tummy, streaked in blood, and her big breasts were in plain view. Her breasts splayed out and drooped to either side.
She said, "Ergh.......Ergh......Ergh."
I shot her again through the teeth.
A shriek and I looked up. At the top of the stairs was a fat girl in her early twenties, wearing a cotton frock. This must be Emily, the daughter. I snapped a shot and it caught her above the ear, taking off some of the top of her head. She shrieked "Aaaaa" and then it cut off as the bullet did its work and Emily pitched down the stairs and crashed to a stop at the bottom. She had her head on the floor, legs up the staircase and her dress had fallen backward over her body, leaving legs, stockings, suspenders, knickers and fat white thighs and jelly rolled tummy on display.
"Oh Jesus." said a little voice.
I turned. A thin hispanic girl in shorts and a halter stood in the side doorway. Clearly a servant, housemaid or whatever. She wasn't on the list, but she was a domestic and domestics don't count. I placed the gun against her forehead and she started babbling prayers. "Jesus, Mary, Joseph....."
Bang!
The bullet made a wet, red hole in her face between her eyes.
She was flung back as though a rope had been tied to her and ten people had pulled it backwards. I looked in. She was stretched out, arms and legs outflung. No more bullets needed.
I went looking for Amelia. Seventeen and the second daughter she was on the list. I found her cowering under the bedclothes in an upstairs bedroom. I shot her through the sheets. She pissed herself when she died and remained a bundle of bleeding, yellow stained, bedclothes.
On to Mardi's place.
Mardi was an executive secretary. Every week on this day she and a half dozen other secs had breakfast together. Sort of power eating for power girls. All seven were around a table on a brick back patio when I arrived. There was a vine trellis and it looked great. They were hopping into strawberries and cream and champagne. They all looked cool and were dressed in straight skirts and silk shirts, stuff like that, very business like.
Mardi looked up. she had long dark hair and was pretty in an Italian sort of way.
"Avon. What the fuck are you doing here?"
I smiled, really sweetly and shot her through the left nipple. She smashed backwards onto the table, squashing cream and sending champagne flutes flying. She lay there wide eyed, studying the sky through sightless eyes. The others screamed. I leaned over and shot three of them with the gun angled downwards, through the top of their breasts. One, two, three. Bang! Bang! Bang! They flopped about, dead in a welter of strappy shoed feet, white, slender legs and disarrayed skirts and peep shows of panties and stuff. A blonde girl had stood up and her mouth was a perfect O. I shot her, the bullet went into her mouth like a lover's penis, and took out the back of her skull. She nose dived onto Mardi. A redhead was screaming. really loud and she just stood there transfixed and wailing. A brunette was making a run for it. I snapped off a shot and it hit her under the shoulder blades. She went down and skidded over the brick paving. I turned back to the redhead and shot her through the heart. She went down like a puppet with cut strings.
I left.
On the way out, two college girls were coming down the street on bicycles. They weren't on any lists, but kids going to school of any age don't count. As they waved at me I shot them both. They crashed off their bikes, wheels spinning and lay there looking awfully dead. A bus coming around the corner had to really swerve to miss them.
Sandra's Gym.
I had four more names on my list and that was it for my day. I used my speed loader to reload and went to the gym.
A perky blonde in ass strangling shorts and a sports bra was behind the counter. She asked me was I alright. I showed her my list of names.
"All in the gym," she chirped, "right through there."
She wasn't on the list but I shot her anyway. Reckoned I'd put her out of her misery. Those shorts must have been torturing her crotch.
I went into the Gym.
Allie was using the bench press. I walked over and shot her through the breast. The weights plomped down onto her squashing her flat little tummy. Miranda was sweating it out on the exercise bike and I shot her behind the ear, through her thick blonde hair. Her legs kept pedalling, sort of reflex twitching, and she fell face down and lay over the bike, arms dangling, fingers curled, and blood dripping onto the floor. Kylie was in the sweat room with Jodie. both were stark naked, towels cast aside. I opened the door and they looked up dripping and smiled wearily. I walked in and held the gun against them and shot them. Kylie screamed, Jodie didn't get a chance. They both lay there bleeding and staring.
As I came out, Sandra, she's about forty and super fit, was throwing a real wobbly. Screaming and wailing and phoning the cops for God's sake. I couldn't stand the noise and popped her between the tits, knocked her over, flat out on her back. She still kept up moaning so I shot her again in the forehead. I had a rotten headache and all that screeching......you know how it is.
I went home and washed my face in cold water and took a couple of Aspro. That eased the headache and I sat down with a packet of chips and a diet coke and put the news on telly. I knew I had to cook my tea, but couldn't face it yet.
When you're just a cleaning lady you work hard and just nobody appreciates it. What you do I mean. Like sending those gals to heaven, or hell. Whatever. I mean someone's got to do it but no-one cares two hoots about us cleaning ladies.
Just blooming sludgies.