Posted by Archer on September 20, 2003 at 01:23:30:
I'll probably be flayed alive for this even though my name isn't Marsyas... Oh well...
"Hello," a familiar voice asked.
"Jackie?" Shari asked, apparently needing reassurance that she'd properly
recognized her friend's voice.
"Shari!" Jackie answered. After a moment, she added, "Are you
in town?"
"Yes, I'm staying at a dump called The Olde Colonial. Apart from
hot showers and HBO --and soft core porn -- well, I'm paying for this trip.
Well, the bellhop is kinda cute... Jackie, would you --" Shari
hesitated.
"Can I see you?" Jackie asked.
"I'd like that. I'm in room 402."
"I can be there in half an hour..."
"Perfect. I need a shower -- it was a rough flight."
"Hey, lover, I could make it in fifteen minutes if you could postpone
that shower -- we could conserve a little hot water, if you know what I
mean."
"I'd like that, Jackie."
"Good things are worth waiting for, lover," Jackie replied, "but
you can spank me if you want."
"Right now I just want you to scrub my aching back."
"Only if I can scrub you all over..." Jackie answered. Jackie
was already completely undressed. She gave a mock frown, "What's
the matter, lover? Ya going to take a shower dressed like that."
"Well maybe I was hoping that bellhop'd help me out of my clothes..."
"You're right, he's cute, but he probably couldn't handle a real woman.
Besides, the snaps on those bras you wear weren't designed with men in
mind."
Shari laughed. "Okay, Jackie, I was hoping that you'd help me
out of these. Of course I could call room service..."
"Oui, madame Shari. Your humble and naked
maidservant will now undress you."
"Let me introduce us. I'm Martine and this is my friend Bubba
Bye-Bye. You're Shari, of course, and I haven't had the pleasure
of meeting your lovely companion."
"This is Jackie..." Shari said nervously. "Please don't hurt us."
"If it's money you wan't, I have about fifty dollars in my purse," Jackie
said helpfully.
"Relax, ladies, I've already been paid. Shari's husband paid me
to check whether she was faithful. If not, my instructions were to
kill both Shari and her lover. Of course I wasn't paid to kill the
maid who used to wear this dainty outfit, but I guess you could call that
a little bonus. So ladies, any last words?"
"Please, Miss Martine, we'll do anything you want," Jackie begged.
"Sorry, but time's up. Time to clock out." Martine
squeezed the gun's trigger. A steady stream of bullets caused the
two showering women's bodies to dance violently as they tore through their
soft flesh. Martine released the trigger. The two bodies swaggered
and slowly fell into a heap on the floor. Martine checked their pulses.
"Good work, Bubba," she said, patting her gun affectionately.
Martine dragged the two corpses out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
She laid them on the bed taking care to spread their legs wide -- Shari's
husband wanted them completely disgraced. Martine noted the body
of the maid and thought -- maybe I could get a little extra pay out of
this -- maybe she's not a maid, but a lover... She stipped the maid
of her underwear and posed her like the other two women. She then
set up the webcam and started sending the streaming videos over the internet.
After a few minutes, she shuttered the webcam and turned the three bodies
over. "Can't neglect your bottoms, ladies," she said. She took
a moment to spread their legs wide again so the viewers would get a good
view. She unshuttered the camera.
"Well, my sluts, I have to go, but the boys can enjoy you for awhile
-- at least until they discover your pretty bodies..."
As she left, Martine had no idea that she would pay dearly for these
words.
"You and your stupid internet porn," Carlotta said disdainfully.
"Why can't you just fuck me in bed like a normal woman."
"But Carlotta, you gotta come see!"
"Okay, okay..." She got out of bed but didn't bother to put
on a robe. "Three naked chicks bottoms up on a bed, so what?"
"Three dead naked chicks!"
"Jesus Jesus Hernandez de la Costa!" (That came out something
like 'Jeeeezuss Hayssuss ') "Murdered?"
"I think so... there's a replay option..." Jesus Hernandez
pressed the replay icon on the web page. "Jesus Maria!" Jesus
Hernandez exclaimed. "Ain't that your sister?" He pointed to
the body of what had been the maid.
Carlotta nodded, stunned to see her sister murdered. Carlotta
was surprised to be a bit wet "down there!" Maybe there was something
to this internet stuff after all.
The screen went black for a minute, but they could hear the assassin's
voice in the background.
"Hey, Jesus, can you download that?"
"Sure babe. Anything else?"
"Yeah. First we fuck ourselves silly. Then you use your
street contacts to get me a machine gun."
"How about Priceline.com?"
"Whatever. But first we fuck. Then I avenge my sister."
The weapon had been a cinch. They received a good offer within
minutes. That was one nice thing about living in the good old USA...
No problem that Jesus Hernandez paid with a stolen credit card number...
The gun would arrive by USPS in three days tops.
"So, Carlotta," Jesus Hernandez asked, "how you gonna find the killer
with just the voice?"
"I don't know. What's that search machine you're always using?"
"Google?"
Carlotta typed in the URL: googoo.com. She got an internet
porn site. "Hey Carlotta, don't you know that if you mispell a URL,
you get a porn site? Allow me..."
After restarted the browser -- it crashed under the load of all the
popups that displayed on exit from googoo.com -- Jesus Hernandez brought
up the famous search site. He handed Carlotta the keyboard.
She typed "Voice analysis of hitwomen" and pressed ENTER. Google
dutifully returned all 59,387 matching sites. The fisr match was
another internet porn site with 8000 popup windows. The second match
was just what Carlotta was looking for.
In the box marked UPLOAD MEDIA FILE, Carlotta entered the
name of the downloaded video. She clicked on the buttom marked SEND.
After two popup ads for subscriptions to Reader's Digest, Carlotta got
the result:
Possible Matches:
(1) Vice President Cheney
(2) Martine Thurston-Howell III
She downloaded the profiles on both suspects. She gave Vice President
Chaney's credit card numbers to Jesus Hernandez as a thank you for all
his help. As for Martine Thurston-Howell III -- she was about to
be terminated.
Martine was driving and her companion was watching for signs.
"There! Turn right!" Elaine said when she saw the One Mile
to Delta Mu Mu Class of 1998 Reunion sign.
"Thanks, Elaine. I'm really glad you could come."
"Just promise me one thing, Martine. No business this weekend."
"No business," Martine reassured her lover.
"You do neglect me sometimes, you know," Elaine said, not completely
satisfied.
"But I do provide, Elaine."
"Yes, you do, but I'd be happier with a little less if only I got to
see a little more of you. I mean, I don't even know what you do for
a living. You might be a Mafia killer for all I know..."
Martine almost drove off the road in response to Elaine's comment.
Her inner voices said -- She knows! But Martine pulled herself together.
It was just a chance statement. Elaine clearly didn't know.
"Over there, on the left." There was the Delta Mu Mu 1998
logo. And she recognized Bailee Arnett, Delta Mu Mu's valedictorian
of 1998. Bailee was talking to a Hispanic woman.
"Damn Spics!" Martine said, forgetting that Elaine's last name was Sanchez.
"Hey!"
"Sorry!" Martine apologized very sheepishly. She knew Elaine
would probably make her pay for the prejudicial remark. She'd probably
even flirt with the Spic chick just to make Martine jealous.
"So Bailee, who's your friend," Martine asked, pointing to the
woman flirting with the woman sporting the "I belong to Martine Thurston-Howell
III" tattoo.
"Just a model. Goes by the name Carlotta Boobs. The last
name is fake, but the boobs and the first name seem to be legit.
She's doing a photoshoot tonight."
"Well she's being a little too friendly with my woman."
"You'll have to talk to her about that. She's not one of my models
-- just an amateur. Very pushy, I might add."
"So, Bailee, are the cameras ready?" Carlotta asked.
"Yes. In the living room, as you requested. But I don't
see how we can shoot in there. All the Delta Mu Mu girls are in there..."
"Relax. Just do your job and let me do mine. I'm paying
for this custom..."
"It's your money..."
The clock chimed 9:00 pm. Carlotta stood on a chair. "Ladies,
it's time!"
"Time for what, slut?" Martine shouted.
"TIme for everyone to strip," Carlotta said, pulling out her AK-47.
She fired one shot, instantly killing the founder of the Ukrainian chapter
of Delta Mu Mu. "Ooops. Everyone but Natasha -- being dead
sort of excuses you from these proceedings. And Bailee, you need
to keep tabs on the cameras."
Everyone except Natasha, Bailee, and Carlotta stripped down to bra and
panties.
"I said strip. Did I say anything about bras and panties?" The
bras and panties immediately came off. And after the last pair of
panties had been discarded, Carlotta squeezed the trigger. When she
let go, only four were lft standing: Carlotta (of course), Elaine,
Martine, and Bailee (checking the cameras). "So did all of that stream
to the internet?"
"Got it!" Bailee chirped.
"Good!' Carlotta said, quite pleased. "You can strip now."
"But..." Bailee started to protest. The stony look on Carlotta's
face told Bailee that this wasn't the time for objections." Bailee's
clothes came off. Everything. "As naked as the day I was born!"
Carlotta squeezed and released the trigger. Bailee and Elaine
danced their final dances as the bullets ripped through them. Their
bloody bodies fell to the floor as the bullets stopped flying.
"It's just us, now," Carlotta said. "So, I know what you're
thinking. An AK-47 fires a few hundred and one rounds and then you
gotta reload. And I fired a few hundred and one rounds -- or was
it just a few hundred."
Martine must have guessed a few hundred and one for she lunged at Carlotta.
Carlotta set the speed to slow and squeezed the trigger. Three bullets
left. The first hit Martine's shoulder, causing her to fall backwards.
The second, a perfect shot: it entered Martine's love canal -- well, baby's
were definitely out. Carlotta released the trigger.
"You bitch!" Martine screamed and writhed in agony. "You
gotta put me out of my misery, now!"
Carlotta squeezed the trigger one more time. Her last bullet pierced
Martine's cold heart.
"Well, Carlotta, I've got good news and bad news and good news."
"First the good news."
"Well, babe, we've made billions on the streaming video."
"Great. The bad news?"
"Well, you killed Bailee."
"So?"
"So the Necrobabes Main Site semiweekly update is going to be late..."
"And the good news..."
"Well, you'll help Peter bring the site up to date." Jesus
Hernandez right arm moved quickly. Carlotta felt his sword enter
that most feminine of areas. Unfortunately the sword he wielded wasn't
quite that sword... Lucky she wasn't wearing panties or they
would be soiled...