Posted by AlOmega on September 25, 2004 at 17:09:24:
I'm not sure if this is my 'wurst' story or not. However I did write this in less than ten minutes. As most cooks would say - "Enjoy."
It wasn’t a dark and dreary night but a sunlit day when I saw her. She had strayed from the rest and I was getting that ‘feeling’ I get sometimes. Carefully I crept behind her and before she could cry out, I grabbed her by the neck. Dragging her back into the brush, I continued squeezing her tender neck keeping all sounds of terror from escaping. She fought as best she could until her flailing limbs became exhausted and she lay still. I kept squeezing to make sure she was indeed dead.
Then the fun began. First I stripped her naked and inserted a blade into her so as to remove as much of her blood and viscera as was possible. A careful washing and rubbing down made her body presentable for the fire I had started. It didn’t take long for her to be fully cooked to my satisfaction. Man o man she was enjoyable. Very tasty as well. I only wish I’d had something to stuff her with.
I’m pretty good, by the way. Not only a good stalker but a fair cook. No one’s ever complained. Oh, I suppose I shouldn’t say that. Someone generally gets upset. Mostly they’re farmers though. You see farmers have wives, sons, and daughters. Sometimes they get upset when one of theirs is missing. But they rarely find the body. That’s the advantage of eating em. Wild animals will get rid of the bones, of course. However there have been occasions when a farmer will find the outer wear. But what are you going to do? What can he do anyway. She’s already dead, gone, and eaten.
There are times, however, when I get tired of eating them. But then I’m from the south and I do miss the mashed potatoes and gravy. That’s always nice to have with your meal of chicken.
Well what did YOU think I was talking about???
AlOmega