Oh, hi. Come on in. My friend here doesn't mind waiting a few minutes, do you, sweetie? Sweetie? Rude of her not to answer, don't you think? Well, she isn't going anywhere, is she?

Hey... you aren't from one of those Christian hit squads or anything are you?

Good... I didn't think ol' Sam'd let anybody like that in here, even if he doesn't really believe they exist.

Now, I know Sam sent you in here so could hear the stories I have to tell you, ain't that right? Yeah, thought so. Well, you just sit back and listen, friend, just sit back and listen. Every single one of these is absolutely true, I assure you, I guarantee it.