Posted by Berenice on May 04, 2002 at 00:18:21:
It's so funny I could almost laugh.
I wrote here asking for help because I was really, really *scared*. I hd changed my life and I was happy, and I was getting fucked by guys not like the guys here but *fun*, it was all fun. The only thing I did wrong was to find these guys by writing online, and that gave me away.
So I ended up with a guy writing to me and saying in the header not something like "Hey Baby" or something stupid like "Saw your ad" but "Let's fuck" and since I'd asked for that, I thought hey, how perfect!
Oh yeah, perfect. he knew it was perfect. He, what was the term, he answered the mail? he read my ad and set out to create someone *just like* I'd asked for...dumb and hot and ready to screw and so I set up a meeting in a few days.
After I set up the meeting it came out when I mentioned that sometimes I liked it "rough", liked hair-pulling and name-calling and for the guy not to be too considerate...it came out that he was a Dom, he'd been a Dom for years, and none of it showed in the early letters!
Oh, I'm sorry, you wanted the fucking "juice", forgive me.
I just keep laughing...I got scared because I couldn't stay away from him but I was scared he'd take my new life away from me and I asked *here* for help because I thought some of you might care and try to help! "Verity" did but didn't help much...and no one else said a GOD DAMNED THING.
So I went and got the juice, huh, didn't I?
Okay, here it is.
When I met him at the motel (and look I'm not a fanciful person) I knew *when I saw his eyes* that I should get back in my little car and get back on the road but almost *all* of me just struck a pose and waited, he gave orders..."I'll get the key, you wait...I'll get my case, get yours..." and I just waited like he said, got my case like he said, followed him.
He didn't say "Hi" or kiss my cheek like the guys who want just sex do. He didn't laugh, he wasn't drunk. He wasn't rude, didn't look me up and down, look at my breasts.
He was all ready.
I was ready for something that wasn't going to happen and *it was too fucking late* and I was in too deep for this.
It was like I was with that guy again, the one who was into Snuffsex and was confident and handsome in the right way and made me feel like I wasn't in control...and I loved it all over again. It hadn't been long enough for me to be safe from this.
Oh, right, the juice, yeah? Sorry, don't help Berenizia, who the fuck is she, get the juice!
Inside he hugged and kissed me real gentle, so gentle it was like my Dad, and I could tell we were about three seconds away from "the juice". In two seconds he looked into my eyes and told me to get undressed. He had told me he wanted me on my knees in that last letter, the scary one, and I was on my knees right away and it felt right again, I sometimes think it's like being a junkie, here I am with a needle in my arm again. He told me to get into the bathroom and he said "I drank coffee all the way here." I knew what that meant and I tried to keep control and laugh and say "Coffee, oh no, at least it's not asparagus!"
And yea pretty soon there was the juice, one kiss and then he was pissing on me, in my long, perfectly done hair, my done makeup, in my open mouth and telling me I only had to swallow some, my breasts, he groaned the whole time, "oh yeah, oh that's right" and I could tell he wanted to say more AND I WANTED TO SAY MORE I wanted to say "that's what I'm for, that's what I'm made for, piss on me, mark me..."
He cleaned me up really nice, washed and dried me. It made me think of the Black Dahlia, he washed and dried her too. When I was washed and dried he made me put my stockings and my half-slip back on and go to the bedroom...he looked at my whips and said which hurt and which didn't...picked the ones that hurt a lot, the rubber one, the textured one. Took the handcuffs. Took the blindfold. Got my glasses off and the blindfold on...I hated that so much, told him so, he told me it didn't matter, all that mattered was what he wanted.
I had been there fifteen minutes and all the way DOWN I AGREED ONLY HE MATTERED. I wished just then for a knife on my throat, he laid me down facedown and stroked me with something, I kept wishing it was cold metal but it was fabric...it was boring but soon I moaned...
Sorry, not enough juice?
A list then of the juiciest.
He fucked my cunt with a very rough feeling dildo without lube and without patience, I screamed into my hands which were manacled to each other but not to anything else and then when I begged for him to keep going but forgot to say "master or sir" he pulled it out all at once and I cried cried cried behind my mask. I cried *because he wasn't pleased* not because it hurt or humiliated to have plastic instead of flesh in me.
he used an inflatable dildo in my ass, made me bleed and scream again. He then told me to keep it in, started savaging my tits, and with me faceup fell on me, I was SO GLAD to have him all over me! He called me a cunt, a bitch, said I was ready for it, I was made for it...I started talking back, I was more creative.
He told me how to suck and finger his cock, put me on my knees him in a chair and gave me really explicit instructions...when I wasn't sucking he talked and I talked, he told me to worship and I DID said that he had a cock, it made him my God, I had a cunt it made me his slave, all women were slaves all men Gods like this I was empty without his cock useless without being fucked I wanted him to fuck me SO BAD...
Finally he put me face down on the edge of the bed, my ass even with the edge, legs drawn up like frogs, so ugly, I waned it so much, he FUCKED me hard from behind, he was big and he was fast and hard and talked and made me beg and I begged and meant it every WORD I wasn't Berenice with a life I was Berenizia who had no life unless a cock was in her cunt ass mouth unless her body was bare breasts pinched and bruised, whipped on her ass
and thighs with some whip she couldn't even see but made her hurt so bad she cried again
Juice?
He fucked me again. I sucked him again. He told me he had a Dom friend and he would be sharing me with the friend, his cock in my mouth, friend in cunt or ass. He said he might charge money. He said that giving me to his friend increased his power. I moaned for it, begged for it, thought "I will never be with this man again" I knew that the SAME NIGHT I would fantasize about this new man and I *would* agree...he said (here's the juice guys!!!!)
"Where should I cum? On your face? Deep in your throat? (he was in my mouth then, his balls in my hands) In your cunt or your ass?" I said "yes! yes! yes! yes!" He got impatient. Slapped my face with his cock. I loved that too. "Where should I cum so you'll be back next week to take my friend too? And anyone else I want?"
I said the truth of course!
Anywhere! Come anywhere, I will already be back! It was three days ago and I already live with all my time for this, his plans, finding new girls ("you are for parting the cunt of another woman while I fuck her" I said "I'll lure them to you help teach them what they are for" finding boys to train to become just like him "I'll tell them what cunts are for, what their destinies are, while their cocks are in your mouth, I'd tell you but it'd be a waste, it's to teach them what I had to learn, to use bitches the way they're made to be used"
Me:"I think I know one I could lure him to me just me at first but then tell him you get women like me all the time you'll teach him" Him: "teach him to spit in your face, watch me whip your ass as you blow him" Me: yes
Juicy enough guys? He came on my face. I didn't wipe it off, I put makeup, dark eyeliner, purple lipstick, over it. Discarded stockings, left bra off. Put on shoes. He left minutes before me, then wrote me next day to tell me we're getting ready for his friend next week...two men...I told him I'd never had two men one in front one in back...we'll do that I'm sure. New ads to lure new girls and men.
And I told him.
I love him.
Love him the way I loved the guy who I hoped would kill me.
Love him the way I love knives.
Love him the way I loved thinking "I don't have to get old hurt go on I CAN JUST DIE JUST BE DEAD JUST BE A WHORE TOY SLAVE NOT LIVE!!!"
Juicy, huh. Gee. So, Verity, I'm living my life, huh. I've got it all back, huh. I've made it all juicy huh guys.
Know what I keep thinking?
Maybe his *friend* will want to kill me.
Or the next one.
Or the next...
Or when I'm on the street...
or...
Someday won't there be a knife for me?
Won't there be a knife to let out ALL my JUICE???
-Berenezia