Posted by Sawney Beane on July 17, 2006 at 17:34:52:
The Collected Works of Sawney Beane: Volume 41
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!
by Sawney Beane
17 July; 18-22, 29 November 1996
3,058 words
DISTRIBUTION NOTICE and DISCLAIMER: Sawney Beane requests that any distribution of this work of fiction remain within the realm of social responsibility. This story is suitable neither for minors nor for the seeming majority of adults who have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality. It is pure fantasy, which means that, for whatever reason, someone has found it interesting to think about the events depicted herein. It does not in any way mean that the author would like to see this fantasy become reality, so if you are the type of person who might be swayed into doing something irrational by reading a work of fiction, the author respectfully requests that you decline to read further.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sawney Beane, originally a native of Edinburgh, lived for twenty-five years in a cave on the coast of County Galloway, subsisting on the flesh of unfortunate travellers, roughly a thousand of them all told. He and his wife raised a large family of eight sons, six daughters, eighteen grandsons, and fourteen granddaughters. Eventually, the family was captured, and the whole lot was brutally and unjustifiably tortured and executed without trial. Since his death in the early 17th century, Beane has reformed his ways and now confines his atrocities to his literary endeavours.
WARNING: This story contains scenes of consensual snuff and gynophagia. If you find such things offensive, please steer clear; you have been warned.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my picture of Hollywood in the Tasty Kate's era. I thought it was cute, but I shouldn't say anything more. Read it for yourself.
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Anna knew that there was a chance that she would become a movie star that day. But it was only a chance, and there were fourteen other girls vying for the part. It wasn't a big part, not even a speaking role, but it was a crucial role in a major motion picture and sure to be a memorable performance. This is why the director, Mr. Edison Finn, was so careful in selecting his actress.
The fifteen ladies seeking the part were on the set and eager to get started at 5 o'clock in the morning. The women were all very similar in appearance. Each was tall, thin, busty, dark-haired, and graceful. There were only slight variations in size between the fifteen women, although eye colour did vary. By conventional standards, the women near the middle of the line would be considered slightly more attractive, but all of them were gorgeous by any reckoning. Anna was eighth in line.
As the fifteen finalists awaited their instructions, they chatted amicably between themselves and carried on like old friends, but the competition to be the chosen one was in the front of each girl's mind. All fifteen were in costume, each wearing an identical eighteenth century French peasant woman's dress. The laced bodices pushed each woman's ample breasts into a pleasant bulge that left little to the imagination. The women were getting impatient by the time the director gave them their final instructions.
"OK, ladies, we're just about ready," said Mr. Finn to his line of aspiring stars. "This is a very important scene, and it demands the performance of a lifetime. We've shot the entire movie already except for the opening scene. In this scene, our hero gets his motivation for the entire rest of the movie. In this scene, Rene is emotionally tormented and thus goes on to bring down the corrupt government that ruined his life. Rene is a revolutionary and a hero in the fullest sense, and you've got to inspire all of that. So I'm going to need emotion from you...intense, convincing emotion. Marie is a tragic figure of beauty sacrificed in the line of righteousness, and you've got to become Marie for a few short minutes. Do you think you can do that?"
The fifteen beautiful heads nodded vigorously, although uncertainty about the enormity of the task showed in most of their eyes.
"Good, here's what we're going to do. I'll walk you through the scene and then we'll give each of you a chance to do it on film. I'll keep all seven cameras rolling throughout, and we'll put it together later. When I get the performance I need, we'll be done. I only hope one of you can provide it for me. When this is done, we'll have the best movie in the last ten years. I'm expecting at least ten Oscars, and one of them might be for Best Supporting Actress, so be on your toes."
The scene would be played out in a huge sound stage that was made up to look like the central square of Paris. A multitude of extras formed a convincing peasant crowd gathered about a raised wooden platform on which the main action would take place. Anna was nervous about performing in front of such a large audience, but she was confident of her acting abilities. She'd never had a part in a major motion picture before, but she had appeared in high school, university, and community theatre in roles more challenging than this one. Still, the task at hand was a bit daunting.
The director explained the scene in detail for the fifteen aspiring starlets, and Elizabeth, the first girl in line, took her position for the first take.
Elizabeth stood stiffly near the edge of the wooden platform between two hooded, muscular men. An actor in a black robe read from a parchment decree: "The prisoner, Mme. Marie Clermont, having been duly convicted of treason, will hereby receive her sentence of death by decapitation. Executioner!"
The two muscular men grabbed the front and back of Elizabeth's dress and ripped the specially-designed breakaway clothing from her body. Elizabeth stood naked before the cheering crowd as the guards tossed the shreds of her clothing into the mob. Then the two muscular men led Elizabeth by the arms across the platform to the guillotine. Elizabeth was sombre but calm as they pushed her roughly down on the slab.
"Cut!" shouted the director. "Get up; what are you doing?"
Elizabeth got up to face the director and listen to his objections.
"It's Elizabeth, right, darling?" said the Edison Finn sweetly, "Look, baby, you've got to be convincing. Marie is going to get her head chopped off, and she doesn't want to go quietly. You've got to give me a struggle, some tears, a wail or two...something! Make this realistic. Also, you're nude in front of a zillion people, and you're no exhibitionist. Try to cover yourself. These two guards won't let you, but you've got to look like you're trying. OK? Do it again. Someone get her a new dress!"
Elizabeth was re-clothed, and repositioned for another go. The judge read off the sentence again, and Elizabeth was roughly stripped. She immediately burst into tears and placed one arm across her crotch and the other across her breasts. She howled piteously as the two men pulled her arms away to her sides and dragged her to the block. Four stationary cameras filmed her four seven different angles as they pushed the whimpering woman's neck into the cradle.
One of the men removed the woman's shoes as an overhead camera got a close-up of her trembling toes. The overhead camera panned up the girl's long legs to her wiggling buttocks whereon the second guard was tying her wrists behind her back. The camera continued to pan up her back and arrived at her neck just in time to see the executioner lock the neck brace in place. A priest was heard above the whimpering giving Marie her last rites. The sixth camera caught Rene, played by a handsome actor named Reggie Renaldo, leaping toward the platform from his position near Marie's trapped head. The priest kicked Rene back to the ground amid the extras just as the executioner muttered, "Now you die, you filthy whore," and pulled the rope.
A specially-constructed high-speed camera followed the gleaming blade down its track, and Camera 4 caught a close-up of Elizabeth's face as the blade severed her neck. Many cameras followed the head's descent into the basket and its rolling out to the edge of the platform where Rene grabbed his executed lover's cranium and kissed the dying lips before making a rousing speech in which he denounces the government and vows to avenge Marie's death while also flagellating himself for getting her involved in the conspiracy that resulted in her capture and beheading.
"Cut!" shouted the director, "That was good, let me watch the replays."
Everyone watched in suspense as Edison Finn watched the playbacks on a small monitor. After several minutes, he yelled "Fuck! She smiled!" There it was: Camera 4's close-up of Elizabeth's face as the blade descended toward her neck showed a broad satisfied smile spreading across the doomed countenance. This most important shot was ruined, and another take would be necessary. No matter; no one had expected to get it on the first take.
But the director was not done with his complaints. "Props! What are you thinking? This is the French revolution, and that guillotine was spotless at the beginning of the scene. Where's the blood smeared all about? Take that Elizabeth's body and get as much of her blood as you can spread all over the place." As a final touch, Edison Finn took Elizabeth's head from actor Reggie Renaldo and used it to replace the uppermost head on a small pyramid of fake heads next to the guillotine. "That should add some more realism, and at least Elizabeth will get to be in the movie."
Melissa was already in position for her shot at glory. Anna watched in agonized silence as she waited her turn. When everything was ready again, "Action!" sprang from Finn's broad lips.
Melissa was duly denounced, stripped, dragged, tied, and locked in place on the guillotine as Elizabeth had been before her. Melissa, however, seemed to have a problem producing tears. She could wail well enough, but the tears just would not come. She played it to the best of her abilities and screamed as her lover Rene was repulsed by the priest. A final wail was cut off as Melissa's head sailed down to provide Rene with a focal point for his speech.
Melissa's take was a good one, but Finn was disappointed after Elizabeth's near-perfect performance, which was spoiled only by a last-minute smile. Melissa just could not deliver the goods, and Finn could not in good conscience use a dry-eyed Marie. He placed Melissa's head in the row of heads beneath Elizabeth's on the most visible side.
Ellen was in position and ready to go. This third attempt turned out to be a disaster. Everything went fine as Ellen was stripped and led to the guillotine. Her performance was quite convincing as the camera panned its way up her squirming young body. Then, as Rene was leaping to save his lover, the priest, who was supposed to kick him back to the ground, lost his footing and careened over the edge of the platform to land in a mass of confused extras. The executioner had already spoken his short line and pulled the cord. The blade sailed home, and Ellen's head rolled off the side of the stage and struck the priest on the forehead.
The take was, of course, completely ruined. The director helped the actor playing the priest to his feet and chewed him out for a full fifteen minutes. By the time everything was put back together, the priest had regained most of his composure, and the small bruise forming on his forehead was not noticeable. Ellen's head was placed in the pile beside Melissa's, and everything was readied for the next take.
Michelle was the fourth girl to take her place of the edge of the platform. Edison Finn was showing signs of impatience, but he was confident of getting the perfect shot before he ran out of actresses. He shouted "Action!" and the process began again. Michelle was stripped, dragged, and secured to the guillotine as the camera panned the length of her body. The priest got it right this time, and the executioner pulled the cord. Rene gave his speech perfectly this time with Michelle's bleeding head in his hands.
Finn sighed heavily and called for the next actress. Everything had been technically acceptable, but Michelle's acting job had been horrendous. She had the tears and the shrieks, no doubt, but she so overacted the part that it looked like a silent movie with sound rather than an emotional thriller. Amanda took her place centre stage.
Anna watched each take with growing excitement. She knew deep down in her heart that she would get the part, that she would be a star, albeit one with a short career. As Michelle's head was placed in the bottom row of the pile beneath Ellen's cranium, Anna realized that her eighth position in line was now the fourth position. She secretly hoped for mistakes in Amanda's performance. Her wish was granted, but Amanda was not to blame.
Everything went beautifully at first. Amanda's face was a mask of anguish and fear. But the executioner wrecked the scene. His line was simple: "Now you die, you filthy whore," but somehow he screwed it up. That was not enough to destroy the scene, however, since it was a short line and easily re-dubbed. Unfortunately, the actor, realizing his mistake, spun around and cursed himself for his daftness. His break from character was clearly visible in over half of the seven camera views as the blade severed Amanda's throat. Rene did not even bother to make his speech. Instead he placed the freshly-liberated skull in the pile next to Michelle's head.
Director Edison Finn was livid. His beet-red face spewed abuse at the culpable actor, and many on the set feared that Finn would physically attack the cowering black-hooded man. The confrontation ended with the offending actor's ejection from the set and the film. An alternate actor donned the black hood and ascended the platform as Tiffany prepared herself.
This sixth performance was exemplary from Tiffany's offended modesty at being stripped and her sheer terror as the blade loomed over her neck to the perfect rendition of Rene's impassioned speech to her dying head. Anna's hopes sagged as she watched. There was not going to be an eighth take. Anna would miss her chance at stardom.
But Edison Finn had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He was quite happy with the take he had, but something told him that he could get an even better one. Accordingly, Mary ascended the platform to take on the roll of the doomed Marie. Anna's hopes reappeared as the scene began.
Mary howled with fear and modesty as the dress was ripped from her lithe body. She resisted the guards' arms but was forced to expose her entire body to the clamorous throng. She shrieked in animal terror as she was dragged to the guillotine and pushed roughly down on the slab. Every inch of her body trembled as the camera passed by on its way from her pretty bare feet to her brutally secured neck. Rene leaped and was repelled by the priest, as the executioner cursed Marie and pulled the fatal cord. As the blade plummeted, Mary moaned an anguished "Nooooooo!" The head dropped and rolled into Rene's hands, and Reggie Renaldo delivered a perfect requiem for his dying lover.
Edison Finn almost howled in ecstasy, "That was perfect! That's a wrap." Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief. Except for the clean-up and the wrap party, this movie was in the hands of the film editors. Anna groaned; she was so close to stardom, but it was not to be.
The director conferred with his assistant, asking how many would be needed for the wrap party. The assistant informed him that they would need ten of the girls, and Finn instructed him to add the three women at the end of the line to the seven already surrendered to the blade. Finn left the building with a satisfied air.
The assistant to the director, Todd McCafferty, signaled to Jennifer, Monica, and Leslie, "You three will be needed for the wrap party; since we have this guillotine here, we could snuff you here rather than in the kitchen if you'd like."
All three girls voted in favour of the Guillotine, and Jennifer lost no time in removing her clothing and positioning herself beneath the bloody blade. The assistant director pulled the cord for her saying, "Bye, and thanks for all you've done." Monica and Leslie followed rapidly on Jennifer's heels. The main difference between the decapitations of this trio and those of the previous seven aspiring actresses was that the present set of women did not have to feign fear and reluctance as they approached their deaths. Anna and the four remaining girls watched in sullen silence.
The next time Anna saw Mary and the other fortunate ones was at the film's wrap party. Everyone was invited and clustered in an enthusiastic clamour around ten large tables. Anna and the four other unlucky candidates served as waitresses for the banquet, and shuffled purposely around the tables and guests. No one paid much attention to them, even though all five of them were working in the nude.
On each of the ten tables was a steaming human corpse. Each was without a head. Mary and the other victims of the guillotine had been roasted to perfection and served to the filmmakers. Director Edison Finn; Producer Tom Stroud; Executive Producer Nicholas Montgomery; Actors Reggie Renaldo, Everett Levitt, Mike Donovan, and Rebecca Tulane; and other important people munched on the body of the starlet Mary Johnson at the head table. Everyone else from character actors to the gaffer and best boy were spread out over the nine remaining tables enjoying a delicious meal. Ten female heads adorned a ledge in the front of the room. Anna was one of only five people who did not enjoy herself at this feast.
After the last of the meat had been consumed and everyone had laughed and carried on for several more hours, the guests dispersed, the five most eminent among them taking a waitress to his bed. Anna found herself at the mercy of the producer and spent a night of unsatisfying sex before being returned in the morning to the studio lot. Anna felt humiliated at having to play the harlot after coming so close to being a starlet.
Todd McCafferty, the director's assistant, returned Anna and the other dejected girls to "The Curtain Call of Hollywood: Fine Dining and Casting Agency" (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Tasty Kate's, Inc.). There Anna and her comrades would have to hope for another opportunity for stardom or at least a place on a star's dinner table. Their purchase prices were refunded less a modest rental fee, thus allowing the film to come in under budget.
A Lover's Revenge came out several months later and was moderately successful at the box office. It did not, however, win a single Academy Award, although Mary Johnson did get nominated for best supporting actress honours. Her name appeared in the opening credits as "Introducing Mary Johnson as Mme. Marie Clermont". The cast list in the closing credits included the entry "Heads beside Guillotine:" and the names "Elizabeth Miller, Melissa Thomson, Ellen Hurly, Michelle Michaelson, Amanda Baylor, and Tiffany Ambrose." Deep within the crew listings somewhere after the key grip was a listing called "Catering" which credited "Jennifer Elroy, Monica Herman, and Leslie McGuinness" among several other names. Had she not been long ago consumed on the table of talk show host Barbara Reynolds by the time the film was released, Anna would have found her name in a long list near the end marked "Hospitality".