Posted by Ripper X on March 14, 2000 at 07:11:23:
That bitch Melissa Joan Hart was easy enough to ditch, and it took giving a lot of guys head to find out that Ripper X was staying in a flop house called Sam's Place. But being famous does have its benefits.
It wasn't in the best of area's, big black building that looked like an abandoned hotel had seen better days with a Red Neon Sign spelling out the words "Sam's Place". The place kind of gave her the creeps, but that was what she liked about Ripper X, everything about him gave her the creeps, but in a very sexy way!
"Ya sure that ya want to get out here, Miss." The cab driver said, twisting his head to look at her with one eye, "Looks like a pretty rough neighborhood."
"Yes," Britney said, pulling out her pocket book, "How much do I owe you."
"Look its 28 bucks, but I don't feel right dropping of a cute little gal like you is a place like this, so how about I wave the charge and just take ya back home, okay?"
"Don't worry." She said, getting out of the cab, "I have a friend inside, he's saved me and I just want to thank him."
"Well," The Cabby said, taking the Hundred Dollar bill. "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn ya."
"Oh I'm not afraid," Britney told him, "He is really tough."
"Ya what ever," Said the Cabby pealing off . . .
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That Britney Spears Is Such a BITCH! She thought, as she flipped through channels on her TV.
Man that dick Black Knight really knocked her for a loop! She can't remember who she is, and then, TO TOP IT ALL OFF! That Fucking Cock tease ditched her.
"We were suppose to be having sex right now!" she yelled at the TV, throwing an empty beer can at it.
That was when she seen it, at first it wasn't obvious, she thought, hey that girl looks just like me! Wait a minute, THAT IS ME!!!!!
"Oh" Melissa yelled getting up and running to the bathroom, "That little bitches ass is so DEAD NOW!"
"She will rue the day she fucked around with Melissa Joan Hart!"
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"Okay, Okay you can do this." Ripper X told himself, digging through his closet trying to find some sexy looking cloths.
He was going to have to go out hunting, GOD WHY DID HE WAIT SO LONG PAYING HIS RENT!!!
Its that fucking Message Boards that do it, Thank God that he was hornier then a 10 peckered owl!
One girl, yes, fairly simple, BUT TWO GIRLS! BEFORE MORNING!
MAN! That will take a fucking miracle.
I need something really sexy for this hunt, Lets see, it's a toss up between the Drink Beer shirt, or my Betty Page getting a spanking Tee . . . OH WAIT! I GOT IT!
Ripper rummaged through his cloths until he found his "I was on the Jerry Springer Show" Tee Shirt!
YA!!!!
This shirt always gets me laid, Chicks dig guys who are TV stars!
WOO HOO!!!!!
Daddy's gonna get some tonight, YA BABY!
"I'm gonna rip me some Poon-tang" Ripper sings over and over getting undressed for a quick shower and shave, THEN ITS OFF TO ADVENTURELAND BABY, YA!
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"Where do you think your going." Said a creepy dude leaning up against the building smoking a cigarette, his hand closing the Main Entrance door, just as Britney tried to open it.
"I'll need to see some I.D. first." he said, blowing out a puff of smoke, not even bother looking at her.
"Look," She said, "It's like this. I'm like, kind of like, only Eighteen, but I'm not going to drink."
"Get out of here kid."
"I swear to God!"
"Ya., why would a little girl like you be trying to get into a legal establishment that sells Liquor then?"
"I'm not going to drink!"
"Then why ya here?"
"To meet a friend."
"Your friend, does he have a name?"
"Ripper." she told him, "I am here to see Ripper X."
"Ripper X ya say." he said, Finally looking at her, a dark smile stretching across his face, he pushed the Door open and allowed her to pass.
He watched her tight young ass sway as she walked into Sam's Place, then turned his head to see a yellow Taxi Cab parked at a Stop sign down the block.
Fire filled his eyes as he laughed his sinister laugh!
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"YES!" Hollered the Cab Driver picking up his walky-talky, "Kojack to Base. Kojack to Base."
"Base Reads you Kojack"
"The Bait has entered the Building, I repeat the Bait has entered the building"
"Affirmative Kojack, do you need any back up."
"Negative Base, No back up necessary." He said, putting his Radio down, "Ripper X, you have slipped through my fingers for the last time."
There was no way he could get away this time, a high profile kill such as Spears?
And who could resist it, shit he couldn't wait until he gets his chance to examine her lovely body!
She has been talking all over town asking for that putz, there are over thirty guys that know exactly who killed her, and the public will be pissed when they find out what he did! They will hang his sorry ass for sure!
"Ripper X, you have escaped me for the last time." He said, picking up his cell phone, "Time to pay the Pipper."
- Rip