Posted by Rache on August 03, 2001 at 06:27:36:
(f,hang,execution,cons)
Blue
Fiction by Rachael
Howard Merriweather was feeling blue. That's the best way to describe and it was a perfect feeling. Like a ball might be perfectly round or a line perfectly straight. Howard was perfectly blue.
He dressed mechanically, not looking to closely at anything which might remind him of HER. It wasn't very easy; after 11 years of marriage everything reminded him of her. He sighed and combed his hair, brushed his teeth, did everything he did.
At work he sat behind his desk and pretended to read reports and make decisions, but not really. He wasn't fooling anyone. Larry poked his head through the door about 9ish "Hey Howard, how's it going?"
Howard looked up. "I'm okay, just getting through the Stillwell account."
"Are you sure Howard? You look a little tired." Larry came in and shut the door behind him. He sat in one of the big leather chairs and put his feet up on Howard's desk.
"I'm okay, just...You know, tough waking up..." Howard didn't finish, he just looked at Larry.
"Alone? Yeah, it's not your fault though." It was a small consolation and Larry knew it. He brightened, "Hey, you wanna go with me to the hanging tonight? Emily can't make it and I was thinking about asking Jenny, but hell man we could get ourselves a little snookered, hang out, go to Eddie's after...Just like old times how about it?"
Howard rubbed his eyes. "Naw, I have tickets but I'm thinking about just staying home tonight."
"Oh yeah, you got box seats huh!" Larry looked at Howard and shook his head. "You gotta get over her man, believe me it's easier if you start right away."
Larry left and Howard gave up trying to do anything productive. Emily came in next and Howard imagined he would have to face everyone in the office, one at a time, all day long.
"Howard! Whatever are you doing?" It was what Emily always said to everyone, it didn't really matter what they were doing.
"'Lo Emily, I'm just trying to figure out this Stillwell thing."
Emily sat down where Larry had been and crossed her legs. "How are you set? Have you even got food in the house? My God! Howard you look terrible!"
Howard grimaced. Emily was falling into her mother mode, the one everybody dreaded. She was only in her mid-thirties, but she had it down cold.
Howard slunk down a little in his chair, feeling suddenly smaller somehow. "She left me some casseroles, a meat loaf and some pie. I'm fixed for a week."
"Well" Emily sniffed, "she always was a good feeder, least she didn't forget a man's got to eat."
"Yeah, she didn't forget that." Howard sat there with Emily in the moment of silent reflection.
"Are you going to the hanging tonight? I was going to, but my sister caught the flu, damned bug, so I'm gonna have her boys tonight."
Howard gave a sympathetic little smile. "No, I'm thinking I might just read a book or something."
"Well, eat some of that casserole too! You can't afford to lose 3 more pounds, I swear!"
Howard watched her leave and sighed. Roy was next in the door, he rapped sharply and wandered in. Looking at Howard's diplomas and certificates and pictures while he talked. Roy didn't look at anyone when he spoke, it was just the way he was.
"They got a line outside, or did you all take numbers this morning, Roy?" Howard asked.
"Hmmmm...Oh, heh heh, that's funny Howard." Roy kept looking at the wall. "Did she leave you a note Howard?"
Leave it to Roy, they were all close, but Roy was the one who would get just a little too personal just a little too fast. But Howard knew there was no sense dodging it, everyone wanted to know. It was big news.
"Yeah, she did." Howard sighed. The silence was overwhelming. Three minutes later Howard gave up. "She told me she was sorry, the usual things. She loved me, she would miss me, but...well you know. Things happen."
"Mmmm Hmmm." Roy nodded thoughtfully at the big fish Howard was holding up. "You gonna go see her?"
"What, today? No, I think she said everything clear. It would just hurt to have to face her." Howard looked down.
"Well, hate to see a good thing end on a note Howard. Just a thought."
Howard watched Roy leave. Not much else to say, he thought. Of course if it was such a good thing, why end it at all, he wanted to ask. But there wasn't anyone there to answer.
Lunch time Howard ran some errands, stopping by the newstand for his daily and a shoeshine. He read the paper absently while he sat in the hard wooden chair, it was full of the hanging of course. Howard skipped those parts, he wasn't very interested. He read the sports page.
At the drugstore he was picking up some sleeping pills and aspirin. He thought he might be needed a healthy dose of both of those later. Mrs. McReedy was behind him.
"Well little Howie! How on earth are you?" She was an elderly black woman who'd been Howard's 4th grade teacher way back when. She prided herself on remembering all of her students, unfortunately she rarely called them by anything other than their childhood names.
"Hello Mrs. McReedy, I'm fine thank you. Some wonderful weather we're having isn't it?" Howard payed for his purchase quickly, wanting desperately to be someplace where no one would bother him.
"Howie, it is just a little too cool for my arthritis. I'm going to have to wear mittens tonight for the hanging I think." Mrs. McReedy laughed, sort of a dry cackle and Howard just wanted to run.
"Well, Mrs. McReedy it's nice seeing you."
"And you too Howie, say hello to little Maralee for me and...Oh." Mrs. McReedy suddenly stopped short and shook her head at her foolishness.
Howard didn't wait for her apology. He grabbed his small brown bag and dashed outside into the sunlight. Everyone knows. Howard shook his head. I wished I lived in New York, nobody knows anybody in a place like that, he thought.
Back at the office Jennifer made her entrance at 2:14 exactly. Howard had been staring at the clock, so he knew. She walked over and around and behind him. She kneaded his shoulders with her hands and practically purred. Howard was feeling like he needed an asthma inhaler.
"Howard, honey, it's okay...I know how you feel. But really, you can't just let life pass you by now. There are still people who care about you very..." Jennifer's voice suddenly became a husky whisper in Howard's ear. "...Very much."
Howard didn't know what to say. Jennifer was a very attractive woman and Larry was dying to get her on a date. But she'd only had eyes for Howard and she'd made that plain from the start. Now that Howard was alone... Well, Howard thought, at least she waited until the afternoon. Six hours was plenty of time to mourn a lost marriage for someone like Jennifer, he supposed.
"Jen, look it's just too....too soon for me, okay?"
"Howard! Really" She pouted behind him, it was a waste really because he couldn't see her face. "Why don't we just go out tonight, spend some time together. I know! We could go to the hanging! Please?"
Howard just sat there. he didn't want to go anywhere.
"Pleeeeeeease?" Jennifer ran her hands down the front of Howard's shirt. She was using her little girl whine and she pressed her ample breasts against the back of Howard's head. "Pleeeeeease...I'm not leaving until you promise me! Pleeeeeease?"
Howard was breaking out in a sweat. How could any single person be so annoying? The thought of 15 more minutes of hearing Jennifer say please made him feel dizzy.
"Alright, yes fine...Whatever." Howard was practically begging her to stop, but if anything his agreeing only made it worse.
Jennifer wrapped her arms around him and squeezed like a boa constrictor. "Oh Howard! Seven O'clock, the Fillmore Apartments...You've made me the happiest girl in the world!" She kissed his cheek and bounced out of Howard's office, doubtless to share the good news.
Larry came in a few minutes later. "You dirty dog! Stay home huh? You know how long I've been trying to tap that girl?" He laughed and shrugged, singing "Some guys have all the luck..." and closed the door behind him.
Howard just buried his head and wondered why he couldn't be Larry.
That night Howard picked up Jennifer at 7:00 sharp. She was stunning in a tight red sequined gown and she frowned a little at Howard's plain suit and tie. But only a little. She made small talk all the way to the plaza and Howard thought mainly about jumping into a volcano.
At the plaza Howard presented his tickets and a slight young man in a red usher's uniform escorted them to a box seat next to the Mayor's. People watched them and whispered and Howard did his best to look down, ignoring several well wishers who called out to him. Jennifer,of course, revelled in it. Smiling and waving. She hooked her arm in Howard's and sat very tall, scanning the crowd, looking for other, lesser mortals she might know. Or more importantly, might know her.
The announcer came on stage and welcomed the crowd, he introduced Jay Leno first, who did some old but still funny material. Howard watched sullenly and Jennifer tried to cheer him up at first, but finally she quit. A band played next, it was another boy band. Howard didn't catch the name of the group though; he thought it was something like "Rags to Riches" or something. All the girls loved them, especially Jennifer who seemed to be having an orgasm as she watched the 5 unbearably handsome young men prance on stage. Make that multiple orgasms. Howard was glad when they were done.
And so it went, 2 hours of grand entertainment until the main event. The announcer hushed the crowd and introduced the special guest of the evening. Howard listened despite himself. "...A special thank you to the Greater Winchester Ladies Rotary Club for donating tonights special guest. But before we go on we want to tell you that we have raised, with your generous support, over 50,000 dollars tonight to help..."
Howard lost track of what the announcer was saying as he saw his wife being led onto the stage. She looked radiant, as beautiful as ever. She waved to the crowd and when she saw Howard she blew him a kiss and mouthed an exaggerated 'thank you' at him. She moved up and onto the scaffold gracefully, smiling and signing an autograph for the hangman before he slipped the noose around her delicate neck.
The announcer was saying something about Howard and he was suddenly blinded by two spotlights. Jennifer stood up quickly and pulled Howard with her. She waved for him and the crowd clapped dutifully for the husband of Mary Lee Merriweather. The Mayor leaned over and shook his hand, good politics. Howard sat back down and watched as they hung his wife. It was, he sighed, the perfect end to a very perfectly blue day.
The end
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