Posted by PK on June 26, 2003 at 17:08:31:
"Good morning, Mrs. Parker," the butcher greeted her jovially as she entered the shop.
"What can I do for you today?"
"Oh, I'd like a nice pair of tits," Polly said, and immediately regretted it.
"Nothing wrong with the ones you've got," came the obvious rejoinder, delivered with a leer
doubtless intended to appear good humoured. Bernie Williams never was one to let a straight
line get by him. "Of course, if you don't want them..." he ploughed on, ignoring her rather
forced smile.
"For my husband's dinner," Polly cut in, shaking her head slightly. "It's his birthday today,
and, well, I thought I'd get him his favourite. If you've got any good, fresh ones, that is."
"You're in luck," the butcher said cheerily. "Did a new batch just this morning. Six pair of the
best still left. Better pick yours now, they won't stay long." He indicated the display case with
a gesture.
Polly peered through the glass at the various body parts on display. Arms, legs, rumps,
ribs...yes, tits. Nice ones, too. One particular pair caught her attention. Slightly tanned, not
large but tip-tilted and pert with nice, firm nipples. They looked familiar somehow. "Aren't
those Debbie Lang's?" she wondered. "I didn't know she'd been called in." Silly, really. How
would she? They often called on short notice. People generally preferred it that way, or so
they said. Debbie must have gone while she was at the fruit market or the library.
The butcher frowned slightly in concentration and consulted a list. "Lang, Debbie....yes, that
was her name. You knew her?"
"The girl next door," Polly said faintly, still a little taken aback. She had seen the girl
sunbathing topless only yesterday and exchanged a few pleasantries over the garden fence.
Now she was body parts in a display case. Oh well, that's how it goes.
"Nice girl," the butcher said agreeably.
"You knew her too?"
"Not really. Well, not for long, anyway. Her father was too busy to chop her himself and the
roundsman was running late, so she brought herself in."
"Good of her," Polly said.
"I thought so. Came in on my mid-morning break, so we had a cup of tea and a bit of a chat
before I, er, did the necessary. Pleasant lass; seemed a bit shy though."
Debbie, shy? "I suppose, under the circumstances..." Polly ventured.
"Came over all coy when she got down to her underwear. Can't think why, lovely filet and
she'd shaved it clean as a whistle." Bernie's beatific face indicated professional approval. Or
something like that. He shook himself out of his reverie and went on briskly. "Still, if you'd
rather have somebody else's..."
"No, these will do fine," Polly said. Her husband, she suspected, had always wanted to get his
hands on Debbie's knockers. Well, now he would, after a fashion. It's an ill wind... "I don't
suppose you've still got her filet...."
"Afraid not. They sell out even faster than tits. Besides, hers was pre-ordered."
By whom? Polly wondered. Her boyfriend? Her father? She cast a suspicious glance at
Bernie. Maybe he'd kept it for himself. Oh, well, it didn't matter. She had other fish to fry.
Wondering briefly at the metaphor, she recalled herself. Should she get some rump steak for
the weekend?