Posted by The Black Knight on February 15, 2000 at 09:38:57:
As February 15th drew to a close in New Zealand Renee O'Connor found herself at a surprise birthday party. In eight years she had never come to expect one, they had gone out of their way to ignore her birthday until today. She still wore the skimpy green costume that she wore on the show and was beginning to hate.
"Come on Renee it's time to cut the cake." Lucy Lawless said loud enough for everyone to hear her.
Renee walked up to a table in the middle of the set, and to a large white cake.
"You know I'm really touched, the last birthday I will get to share with you guys and you throw me a party." Renee said.
"We heard that you got out of your contract." Lucy said with a slight smile on her face.
Renee picked up a large knife, which looked more like a butcher knife than one you would use to cut a cake.
"Hey at least they didn't give me a sword." Renee thought to herself.
"Here, let me help you with that." Lucy said as she wrapped her hands around Renee's.
"Lucy, what are you doing?" Renee gasped as the knife was turned around.
A look of shock came over Renee's face as the point of the knife slid into her abdomen below her navel.
"Sorry Renee, but there's only one way out of that contract." Lucy said.
Renee let go of the knife and put her hands on her belly on either side of the knife. She clenched her teeth as Lucy dragged the knife up her gut until it hit her sternum.
"L-Lucy...why!?" Renee gasped.
The only answer Renee got was the dull splat as her small intestine fell onto her birthday cake. Renee's eyes rolled upward as she fell back, dragging her guts and her cake off the table onto her body.
"Oh well at least we saved the engraver a little trouble." Lucy said as she walked away from Renee's inert form.