Posted by Barbanne on March 26, 2003 at 22:10:14:
PART SIXTY NINE
I sat on a seat in the mall.
The arcade was busy and light streamed in from above, filtered through one of those barrel vault skylights. Shoppers crowded the tiled space and the overall impression was of action, action, action. The colourful shop fronts and sidewalk displays made the place cheerful and alive. I had sat down because a cramp had sliced across my mid section and I feared walking on until this painful reminder of my failed femininity had gone completely.
I sat there just another among the many young women filling the shopping mecca. A positive flock of females.
I watched them walk past, heads together chatting, girls on a day out, lovers with a bloke's arm trapped, young mums pushing babes in strollers, happy people.
The black washed over me.
Why couldn't I be one of these.
OK so I was the corpse queen at Girls, Girls, Girls. I was a fantasist supreme at Playdead. I devised plots to earn us a devoted following. Great! But where was I going? Where was Barbanne going? I had the perfect mate in Alex but where were we going? Maybe I should raise the question of marriage. Maybe I should settle down and become a shopper haus frau and maybe even a mum. I made a mental note to investigate adoption. But I was way ahead of myself.
Anyway I had made my mind up that for me there would be no more bad days. No more blackness. No more depression. I had a job I sort of loved and I had a partner who was ace and I had my own intelligence.
No, I was pretty well blessed and I had to like my life and like myself.
"Feeling better Barb?"
Jas, my shopping companion, joined me from the shop she had been eyeballing and I saw a Joni A bag in her hand.
"Bought up big eh?" I smiled.
"Oh yeah, there's more yet, come on girl we got credit cards to bash."
I climbed up and we walked away peering into shop windows full of stuff I couldn't afford.
"Yeah Barb," staring into a jeweller's window.
"How do you think it would be if I retired?"
"Retired Barb?" I had her attention now.
Sandi had written a little play about a girl's college sport day with a few different scenes all linked together by the overall theme and providing small vignettes which would allow us to shoot Playdead type stuff. Of course her scribbles on a sheet of paper torn from a school exercise book were like ideas only and she and I had sat down and written a developed script for the various scenarios.
Jas, Sherilee and me were going to do act one which would be posted on our site as "Two on One."
Alex was directing with input from Sandi and Dave was behind the camera.
Jas, Sherilee and yours truly were all netball players and the action was before the game and the setting was the change room.
We were in various stages of dressing or should I maybe say undress, Jas had her skirt and top on, Sherilee had socks and shoes and skirt and bra and I was in my panties (low rise bikinis) with a towel around my shoulders.
As I walked into the room Sherilee leaned over toward Jas and whispered, "Here comes the rotten little bitch now, how about we do her over?"
"I'm with you."
"Alright let's do it."
They high fived.
"Hi Jas, hi Shell, what's news? We gonna do these Bluebirds or what?"
"Yeah Barb we'll win no worries."
"Betcha," I mumbled and turned to my locker.
"Hey Barb got a moment?"
They were huddled together and I came wandering across.
"I can't play in panties only girls so what's doing I gotta get changed."
"Oh you're good at playing in panties or nothing at all come to that Barb."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well you played around and fucked my Jason," said Jas.
"And my Roger," said Sherilee.
"Hey what is this?" I said raising my hands.
"What this is bitch is this is payback time."
"Hey go easy."
Jas wound up a right fist and let it go WHAM!, caught me on the point of the jaw and I cannoned back and cracked into the lockers.
"Aaoow," I wailed and my eyes went crossed and my hands sort of flapped.
"Yeah you little shit," said Sherilee and she slammed a fist into my temple.
"Ergh," I said rather weakly and my knees buckled and my eyes crossed over completely and my arms dangled by my sides.
"Hold her Jas," said Sherilee and next thing Jas had pinioned my arms.
Sherilee lined up a haymaker and let it go and it crashed into my jaw. Already half out to it I spun out of Jas's grip and cartwheeled across the dressing room arms flapping at my sides and my knees hit the change seats and my head smashed into the lockers and I bounced off and crumpled to the floor out cold!
"Give me a hand," said Jas.
Sherilee helped her and they lifted my knocked out body up and dumped me on my back on the rub down table.
Jas pulled my panties down and off.
"Shitty little tramp," she said and stuffed them into my gaping mouth.
They high fived again and finished dressing and ran on to the court.
I lay there thinking that the taste of my own panties was not something I was super wrapped in and looking like I was out for the count.
The stress I had put myself under when I ran away and then again when Loreen was raped, together with my increasingly painful monthly episodes and a bout of tummy bug that I had contracted in Thailand and had never fully thrown off had all combined to rob me of what little appetite for food that I had had and where I had been a sort of picky eater I now found that I only toyed with meals no matter how good they looked or how tasty I had made the food. The result was that although I was a chronic non excerciser and something of a lay about I nevertheless had developed the body of an Ethiopian distance runner. My back looked sinewy, my arms and legs were corded and my ribs were pronounced while my tummy was quite hollow and my hip bones were visible and my mons was very pronounced in the hollow of my groin.
I suppose I hadn't really noticed just how gaunt I had become until I saw myself lying on that rub down table (our multi purpose stainless steel table) in the run through of my episode of the sports girls' set.
Alex had started asking me was I alright and when I saw those pictures I realised that I did have a problem.
More of that later.
The second act of Sandi's set we had called "Nighty night girl."
This one concerned two girl wrestlers, Roxie and Sandi herself and they were dressed in ultra tight fitting body stockings and they were wrestling on a large mat which had been set up in the studio. It was all amateur stuff and so of course there were none of the antics of those ladies who "wrassle" professionally. Well, except that after grappling and tying each other up, Roxie and Sandi lost their cool after a bout of hair mussing and makeup smearing and Roxie used a (highly illegal) forearm smash to stun Sandi and then ripped the top of her body stocking down exposing her breasts before taking a firm sleeper hold on her and turning up the pressure until Sandi feebly flapped around and then went down limp in Roxie's grasp and lay there dribbling and with her legs spread in an unladylike fashion, out like a light.
Two girls in dreamland.
Act three featured Sarah, Sara, Alexis and Sibyl and was set in the athletics arena. A sort of combined marathon and heptathlon.
Shot putting. The ladies strained and heaved and tossed the little iron ball. Getting rid of the opposition was the name of the game. Sara went forward to check her throw and whoosh over came the iron ball.
Right on Sara's noggin and down she went as though pole axed.
And then there was three.
The hammer throw and, with a look of pure evil on her face, Alexis swung her hammer backward to get it airborne for her wind up. The tip of the heavy hammer clipped Sarah under the chin clacking her teeth together and snapping her head back and she went down hard. Splayed out on the ground and out for the full count.
Sibyl and Alexis contested the hundred metre hurdles and as Alexis sprinted to the front Sibyl dropped back confident that her sabotage on the second last hurdle would suffice to bring her a win. That penultimate barrier had been raised a subtle few centimetres and when Alexis took off over it her foot caught on the top rail and as it had been secured to the ground it didn't neatly tumble over but she did, nose diving into the synthetic track and knocking herself completely out.
Sibyl went on for an easy win.
Back in the dressing room and the stripped and slumbering bodies of Sandi, Sara, Sarah and Alexis lay shoulder to shoulder on the floor. On the rub down table Miss Anorexia herself, (me) lay sprawled out still very senseless, her panties stuffed firmly into her mouth.
Sherilee had been carried in unconscious from a beaner on the net ball court and Jas, Sibyl and Roxie sneered down triumphantly at their victims. Then they set in on each other in a welter of fisticuffs and when the room cleared Jas and Roxie were also flat out on the floor and only Sibyl was left standing, exultantly and derisively surveying the limped out and supple flesh of her eight rivals.
Dave's camera wandered across the smooth soft tummies and rounded floppy breasts and long slender limbs and neat feet and pretty faces, peaceful in their trance like insensibility.
Sandi's first set was going to be a winner!
That night Alex sat me down and said, "Barb I hadn't noticed it before but watching the pictures we did today I realised that you have lost a lot of weight."
"Do you think so?"
Of course he did. I had seen for myself what a scarecrow I had become.
"Yes I do. Are you feeling OK?"
"Well I'm worried about it and so are the other girls. They have come to me about it not wanting to mention it to you direct I suppose."
"Why wouldn't they?"
"Oh you can be a bit of a prickle at times."
"Yes you sweetheart. Anyway I have decided to do something about it."
"Oh..................??," suspicious like.
"Yep, I've asked Candice and Loreen to meet with us tomorrow. I know you trust Candice and I know that Loreen and you share something special and I want us all to talk things over and see if there's anything we should be doing differently."
"You mean I should be doing differently."
"Maybe so, but its because so many people love you Barb that they want to help. Me most of all."
"You think I need help?"
"We all do at times love and god knows you have had it worse than most."
I looked non committal but deep down I was very pleased. I was doing it all myself and I was doing it tough. Maybe coming clean with my friends was just what I needed. I had to have support. I couldn't do it all on my own.