Posted by Barbanne on May 27, 2004 at 00:14:22:
PART ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY
As time trickled away I kept busy with the Slain Sluts site. I had chucked my job at the footie club and had done most of my pathetic packing and just stayed around the house with Sheryl, who had moved in, as we worked at pushing out a few sets to keep things rolling for the next few weeks while Bobbi and Sheryl got into the swing of things.
Today's little drama was about kidnap and murder.
Sheryl was going to play the victim, (I needed stuff like this to take my mind off what I was about to do) Bobbi and me were her abductors and Addie was working the camera.
Bobbi and I were two scumbag sheilas and Sheryl was the society babe we were going to kidnap and hold for a King's ransom, or should that be a Queen's ransom considering she was a babe. I had used makeup to cover as much of my bruises as I could but still had a very obvious black eye.
So here was the plot.
Sheryl set out to drive across town from her penthouse to a ritzy Double Bay restaurant for a get together with other ladies who lunch. Bobbi and me were in our battered van waiting for her. We knew she was a soft touch and so when she turned into the quiet street where we had parked I lay down behind the van and Bobbi jumped up and down in an agitated manner.
I was wearing a little nothing mini dress and giving a good view of my legs and Bobbi was dressed in top and jeans looking like a delivery van driver.
Sure enough Sheryl slowed down and stopped.
"What's happened, has there been an accident?" she asked.
"Aw Missus," said Bobbi, "she just walked in front of me, just like that, I couldn't do nuthink."
"I'll call for help."
"Is she dead Missus?"
"Well lets see."
Sheryl got out and stooped over me. I grabbed her hands and Bobbi wrapped the chloroform pad over her nose.
She said, "Whaaaa.............................." and then struggled but it was two against one and she went out cold.
We got her into the back of the van and I stripped her nice clothes off and when she was naked I spread her legs and using my fingers to widen her pussy slid a knockout capsule inside her vaginal canal. Cunning eh? This stuff would be slowly absorbed into the membranes of her puss and was powerful enough to keep her out for a couple of days. As I was slipping it inside Sheryl woke up and struggled feebly but I pushed her back down on the floor of the van.
"This is going to kayo you for forty eight hours lady, don't fight it," I hissed.
She went out like a light.
We drove off out of town and into the desert.
Unknown to us the bouncing of the van bounced the capusle clean out of Sheryl's pussy and she started to wake up.
She came to and found the capsule and hid it and then pretended to be still out.
We stopped in the middle of nowhere for Bobbi to go and pee. She scampered off behind some rocks a hundred metres away.
I went to check on our kidnap victim.
I opened the back door of the van and looked in. Sheryl was stretched out, naked and seemingly out for the duration.
"Good," I muttered and leant inside to check she was still breathing and all. No good your kidnap victim dying too soon.
Sheryl exploded into action and slammed her fist into my face. I reeled back and she sprang out of the van and landed on top of me. I was having trouble getting all of this in perspective and having a nude virago thumping me wasn't helping. I fought back half heartedly but couldn't wrest the initial advantage from Sheryl. We struggled, rolling in the dust and Sheryl kept bashing into me and weakening me. My fight back became ever more feeble.
We struggled some more. What the hell was Bobbi doing?
By now Sheryl was getting right on top of me.
POW! she slammed a fist into my tummy and I oofed and doubled up. She grabbed my hair and dragged my head up, (look of fear on my face) KRAKK! she slammed her fist into my temple and my eyes rolled helplessly and I sort of flopped but her fingers entwined in my locks held me up. My lips flubbered and POWWWWW! she slugged me right fair on the chin and I went down hard, cracking my head against the bumper of the van (as if I needed that) and I was down and out in the dust.
Working quickly she stripped my mini dress off and put it on and pinched my shoes as well. My panties, my only other garment she tugged off and flicked into the back of the van.
"Hmmnn," she mused, "the other bitch will be back soon." She studied the capsule that had recently been inserted inside her.
"If this was strong enough to knock me out for forty eight hours then half each should keep these two babes down for twenty four hours each. Heaps of time to get them to the Sheriff."
She broke it in half and, spreading my legs, (close ups called for here) used her index finger to slide it deep inside the folds of my vagina. Then, not wanting me to pop it out as she had, and being a heap smarter than me and Bobbi, she rummaged through my purse where it sat inside the van and found two tampons and safely secured the half capsule inside me by plugging me with one of them. She dragged me up out of the dust (slack mouth and closed eyes) and hoisted me over her shoulder. (more close ups as well as wide shots of my big bum and my most intimate bits) She scrambled into the van with me limped out across her shoulder and dumped me on the floor.
Then she armed herself with a tyre lever, donned my dark glasses and hunched her head down.
Glancing casually at Sheryl, she took her for me and said, "How's our meal ticket?"
"Still out cold," mumbled Sheryl, "see for yourself."
Bobbi peered into the back of the van.
"What the fuck! that's Barban....................................."
Sheryl slammed the tyre lever down on Bobbi's unprotected head and with a whispery sigh she slumped, half in and half out of the van.
Sheryl rolled her inside and stripped her nude and then, spreading her legs too, (more close ups) shoved the other half of the capsule none too gently deep inside her pussy and secured it in place with the other tampon.
"Well ladies," she said, "that should keep you quiet while I drive back into town and deliver you to the Sheriff."
We lay there naked and silent and limp.
She climbed into the driver's seat and started up and off we went.
"Hope its not too rough in back there ladies," she giggled.
Bobbi and I rolled back and forth with the movement of the van, soon becoming entangled, with Bobbi on top of me as though we were fucking in the missionary position.
(If only she had been properly equipped)
As time for me to go came closer and closer I found myself thinking more and more about what I was doing.
I suppose that all of the stuff that had happened to me over the years had made me what I was and that, I realised, was someone who was a failure.
My family had failed me and that had forced me into an institutionalised upbringing and that I had handed intellectually, but failed, and failed miserably, emotionally. I was well educated and yet I had failed to make anything of myself and had drifted from menial job to menial job. My relationships mostly were failures and the big love of my life, Alex, had come to me while I was cashing in on the weird fantasies I experienced so terribly strongly. I mean what girl gets off on being a helpless victim? This is the age of assertive aggression and most people see what they want and take it, including sexual gratification and what they call love. I get off playing either my own corpse or at the very least my own body beaten senseless.
Shit I'm weird.
I thought back on Alex.
I remembered how we first met when I wandered into Playdead's office, the office that was now gone, destroyed by fire and I thought over all of the stuff we'd done together.
My modelling and "acting" various limp bodies.
My stints behind the camera or doing makeup and my fertile plot writing and I remembered how many times we had argued, squabbled or downright quarrelled about one thing or another. Damn we got close to knock 'em down and drag 'em out fights. But then I'd get him to knock me down nd drag me out and then we'd fuck like ferrets.
That made me think about how we'd drifted almost into a relationship that was part dewy eyed love and adoration and part hard, almost animalistic rutting.
I realised that I loved him painfully and wondered why I couldn't just pick up the phone and ring and apologise and grovel if neessary and get myself taken back.
Then I knew that I could no more do that than fly.
Why, I knew, was because no-one had ever taught me how.
I was crippled emotionally.
I knew I was getting maudlin and indulging in self pity.
I also knew that whilst my offering to go overseas with Ausaid was maybe five percent humanitarian, it was ninety five percent selfishness. I was running away from something I couldn't control.
I always had.
While I was having one of these mean blue miseries Bobbi came over and sat down with me.
We sat in silence for a bit.
Then I said, "How's it going with you and Bob?"
"Great. Barb I really love him, maybe I'll even propose."
"Doesn't he do that bit?"
"He's a little slow, I may have to take matters into my own hands."
I laughed at that.
"Go get him girl, he's a nice guy."
"Maybe I will."
"You can tell him if you do that he better treat you right or I'll punch him out."
Now she laughed.
"I don't think I'd risk much betting that you could punch Bob out Barb."
"Oh well I'll be mean to him."
"You packed Barb?" she said, changing the conversation.
"Yeah," I said, unable to keep the misery out of my voice.
"You know Barb, we became friends when we were both friendless and I like to think we became good friends."
"The very best."
"Then I lost you and then, amazingly, I found you and now I'm going to lose you again."
"Are you sure Barb?"
"I'll always be here, well somewhere and I'll always be ready to help you Barb."
"I know Bobbi and I love you for it."
"This is about Alex isn't it Barb?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're punishing yourself for loving him so much, God you must love him bad girl."
"Am I? Am I Bobbi. Why can't I just go to him and fix it all up, why Bobbi, why?"
"I don't know Barb, there's sides to you I don't think I've ever known."
"Oh Bobbi I'm scared."
"I know you are Barb, I do know that. I wish I could take that away for you, but I can't, no-one can, only you Barb, only you."
I started having nightmares.
I dreamt that I was dead, shot down by wild Arab tribesmen.
For some reason I was lying completely nude on a pile of utterly nude girls, all shot between the eyes.
No-one would ever know.
I would die unmourned in this strange country and no-one would ever, ever know.
Of course my legs were stretched apart and my cunt was glistening with excitement and throbbing with orgasm.
Dead and nude.
Dead, nude and piled up with a heap of other babes.
The opposite poles of my emotions.
Dead, nude, completely and utterly naked, piled on top of other girls, all of us like a heap of trash, splayed out, opened to my conquerors, opened to the world, helpless, blood oozing down my forehead, lubricant leaking out between my pussy lips, glistening, trickling, sliding slipperily into my pubics and matting them.
Making me hot, awfully hot.
My dream was propelling me slowly and inexorably into an orgasm, like the magnificent progress of a glacier, it rolled unstoppably towards its inevitable conclusion.
Now in my dream I was being pulled from atop the pile of dead girls by wailing Arab women and dragged through the dust and oiled and with yams (yams??) peeled and stuffed into my mouth and cunt and ass I was tossed onto the blazing coals of a desert fire and cooked.
Dear god it was sexy.
I came in a rush and woke up at the same time.
I was sweating, shaking, satisfied and terrified all at the one time.
The next morning Sheryl said to me, "I met Jade yesterday."
"Oh yeah, how is she?"
"Good, yeah good. She said that things over there are a bit strained."
"How so." Burning to know but unable to ask.
"Well, evidently they look at everything we post and either marvel or tut tut at the explicit nature of our sets."
"Oh Alex is touchy and it upsets everyone else."
"And you're going to tell me its because of me and why don't I go over there and make up and fix everything."
"Well why don't you?"
"Why should I?"
She sighed as one does when talking to a stubborn child.
"Why shouldn't you Barb, why not? Don't you feel you're being somewhat selfish?"
"ME! ME SELFISH......pshawwww," or however you write that hiss of disgust.
She sighed again and the topic died.
Was I being selfish. Of course I was. I wanted him to come to me, just for once I wanted not to have to be the one to give in and grovel, I wanted him to want me enough to overcome his stubborness.
Inside, deep down I knew it wasn't going to happen.
And now finally it was time for me to go.
I had packed and checked that my passport and all of my travel documents were in order. I knew that if I let the other girls come and see me off I would cry and very probably disgrace myself so, although it was a couple of hours early, I rang a cab while Addie and Sheryl were at lunch and snuck out when I saw it pull up while Bobbi was busily engaged doing some editing on our latest set and hastily shoved my cases in the boot and hopped in the back and told the driver to take me to the International terminal.
I checked in for my flight and went to have coffee in the airport lounge.
I was sipping that and reading an inflight magazine and feeling pretty miserable when bouncing in through the doors came Bobbi, Addie and Sheryl.
"Where do you think you're going mate? Trying to get away without saying goodbye?" said Bobbi, throwing her arms around me and hugging me tight. Addie and Sheryl had a go too and by then I was bawling and disgracing myself.
"Now Barb, you look after yourself and if you meet any big white hunter types remember you've got girlfriends back here."
"Got everything you need Barb?"
"Gee Barb I reckon you're brave going over there."
"If I had the courage I'd go too. I reckon Barb's going to have a fabulous time."
"Send us a postcard mate."
"Don't get eaten by lions or tigers."
"No tigers in Africa stupid."
"Well don't get eaten by a wildebeeste."
"Or a crocodile."
"Find out if its true what they say about black dude's.....you know.....abilities."
I was overwhelmed and laughed and cried and then they were calling me onto my flight.
We kissed and hugged like it was going to be forever and then, really red eyed, I checked through the gate and waving furiously walked out to the plane.
As I sat there waiting for take off I peered out of the tiny window trying to see my mates. Then I saw them still waving, I'm sure it was them. I waved back knowing it was futile and they couldn't see me. Standing with them, looking incredibly sad was Alex. Was it? Was it really him? I rubbed the window and pushed my specs up my nose, but my tears blurred my vision and then we were moving, rolling on rubber tyred wheels, rolling away from the terminal, from my friends, from my home.
Hours and hours and two stopovers later and we were on our night time descent into Nairobi and as I gazed out of the windows of the darkened plane I saw dozens of little prickles of light, campfires I imagined in my romantic way, from the villages of the dark land into which I had banished myself.
I realised I was very frightened.