Posted by Barbanne on August 09, 2000 at 18:25:00:
Here's a little something for you.
He's always so nice to me folks.
Barbara slowly undressed.
She put her clothes away with great care.
They weren't very good clothes, certainly hadn't cost her a lot, but they were hers and their purchase had always been a special occasion and she loved them all a lot.
When she was down to her panties only, she went over to the bedroom dressing table and sat on the little stool in front of the mirror and applied her make up. She knew he liked her to look nice and pretty but just a little bit naughty and tarty and sexy.
She felt awfully sexy and wriggled her bum on the stool. One of the things about sitting on your sex, when it was tingling you were tingling.
She applied lots of dark purplish eyeshadow to her upper eyelids and to the arch below her eyebrow too. She used eyeliner to accentuate the shape of her eyes, exaggerate their upward slant, make them more catty, more witchy. She gooped on mascara drawing her lashes out into spidery black strands. She put just a little blusher on to highlight her naturally pale skin, giving it just a slightly translucent glow. She used her brightest red lipstick and applied it, pressing her lips together then cleaning the edges where it had strayed. She fluffed out her hair so that it looked free and natural.
Standing, she went into the bathroom and stepped out of her panties and dropped them into the laundry basket.
Nude she went to the kitchen and poured a scotch.
She had never taken a drink before in her life.
She went back into the bathroom and took down the bottle of seconal and twisting each of the little plastic tabs dumped the powder into the glass of scotch.
She went to the door of the bathroom and looked over at her bedside clock.
Twenty to seven.
He would be here at seven.
Derby, the nice chap she had met when he had complimented her on her writing. Such a nice fellow and so helpful. She had liked him a lot and he had been so good to her. Now he was coming here thinking he was going to be treated to a dinner that would be a treat. She was a very good cook and he would have gotten a wondeful meal if she had cooked it, but tonight she had a different kind of treat in store for him.
The messy affair with Jane. Her confused sexuality and then the fear that she had caused Jane's suicide. It was all too much for her and her own life had lost meaning.
Lost any real purpose.
She was and always had been, a loser.
Twenty to seven.
By the time he got here she must be gone. Dreadful if he rushed in and saved her, resucitated her. Then it would all be ruined.
She drank the scotch. It took three goes and caused a lot of spluttering.
She went out and lay on her back on the bed. She arranged herself so that her arms lay back, the curve of her breast pulled over, seductive, enticing. She spread her legs and crooked one knee so that her groin was opened up, her sex the first thing he would see, open, yawning, on offer. She would still be warm and she wanted him to have her, treat her like the slut she was, use her, make the most of her, party on her body.
She was offering herself to him.
Well, part of herself.
She lay there feeling fuzzy, feeling warm and then cold. Her mind ran through the words. How she wanted to be.
Abandoned, wanton, lascivious, lewd, sensual, dissolute, licentious, lustful.
A little smile crooked the ends of her painted lips.
She could hear him at the front door. She heard his key in the lock. She sighed and heard him call her name.
She let go and went to where none may return from.
Derby, she thought, I am here, I am yours. Come and use me......................
She was gone.