Posted by Barbanne on July 16, 2003 at 16:17:02:
Ripper and Mike and I terrorised the country south of San Francisco, scaring the shit out of farmers, peasants and storekeepers and netting about a hundred and twelve dollars each.
I was flat. I had to confess I was tired of this life and tired of being who I was. I was loving Ripper and Mike and they really enjoyed my little quirks, like poking my oily breasts squished together and the ice cold mouth trick. But then I've never known a man who didn't. I loved these guys, but maybe it was more just plain lust. I found myself thinking more and more about Dave and Therese and how plumb, pig in muck happy I'd been with them and how maybe, just maybe, if I'd really tried hard, Dave and I might have managed a bub. That got me to thinking about Lisa and Rick and all of a sudden I wanted awfully bad to see her again. I knew they'd gone up San Francisco way and I decided I'd head up there and see if maybe I couldn't find her and see her and Rick again. He'd always made me laugh and she was like a sister to me. Maybe more like a mum, because in a lot of ways I was immature. Yeah, dumb, selfish, shithead Barbanne. Never grew up.
I told the guys we were off to San Francisco and they reckoned that was great. They were drifters and loved something new. Hell, I couldn't blame them, so was I. Well, had been anyway. Now I was getting sort of clucky broody, wanted a home and a man I could really get my teeth into loving.
Greedy, miserable, murderous bitch. Why should I be allowed to be happy.
That was another thing. Them murders I'd done. They were starting to haunt me. I was having horrible nightmares.
We reached San Fran about a week later and the first thing I saw was a handbill outside the pub where I'd worked that had a fairly reasonable likeness of me on it and announced in big letters, "Wanted for robbery and murder." Then it listed my crimes from Baltimore on. And it knew my name. Barbanne, it said. Believed to have fled from custody in Australia, it said. Fuck, it was my life's history.
They were closing in.
Well, that depressed me too.
I was still wearing my hair long and the picture showed me with it much shorter. And in the picture I looked lots younger. I'd aged in three years. No, not so much age, more clocked up a lot of mileage. Maybe I should just give myself up. Yeah, good idea Barb, become a dancer as well. End of a rope dancer that was. I had visions of myself pirouetting at the end of a rope, tongue nearly touching the ground and eyes bugged open and going black faced and probably pissing myself and other horrible stuff.
I shuddered and gave that idea away.
A load of Spanish gold was supposed to have hit town the week before and me and my confreres reckoned it would be in the Governor's place and maybe they wouldn't miss some if we was to just take it like. The Governor's place was a ramshackle joint on a hill, big, spreading and a bit rundown. It was supposed to be protected by some female guards. The Spanish Governor oversaw the administration of this whole northern part of the Spanish Territory from here and as a result he wasn't always in residence. It was advertised when he'd be somewhere else and we checked on the notice boards and found he'd be out of town that Friday. I talked it over with Ripper and Mike and we decided to hit the joint just after dusk on Friday evening. We'd be aiming for the armoury because that, we understood, was where anything valuable was kept. We realised we'd have to play it by ear a bit as we were unable to find out from anyone what the place was like inside.
Well, come Friday evening, there we were. The boys were armed to the teeth and I was wearing my, by now much travel stained and worn, short buckskin dress and boots and bespectacled of course and even I had decided to carry weapons. I had a long wicked knife tucked into my boot and a small pistol stuck in the waistband of my panties. I hoped like crazy that I wouldn't end up shooting my pussy off.
Soon as it went dark, we snuck up on the place and found the big gate where they delivered stuff to the armoury. It was locked of course and so plan B went into action. I groaned and crashed against the door and beat on it with my fists and cried, "Help, help, rape, rape......" and then heaps of blubbering and banging my head against the door and crying and wailing and repeating my pleas.
Eventually, the lock slid back noisily and the door creaked and I fell to the ground and sobbed and twitched and jerked my little body and generally gave an Oscar performance. (Ooops, historical innacuracy) The big door creaked open and slid ajar by about a metre and a girl dressed in a short tunic and some leather protective over clothes came out and bent over me and said something in Spanish. It sounded like she was asking me what was wrong and she sounded caring and concerned. I felt like a shit for what I was going to do, but there was money within and I wanted it. I reached out a hand to her and she stooped over me and took my arm in her hands. I pulled her off balance and stabbed her in the throat with my knife. She said something that was cut off and then she death rattled, a horrible noise from deep inside her. I shoved her dead body backwards and she fell into the path of the door just as someone inside tried to pull it shut. The dead girl's corpse jammed the door and I sprang for the opening. Mike and Ripper broke cover and I heard them coming. I was at the opening and there were three other girls, dressed like the fallen one, heaving on the door. It had shut on that poor dead gals body and she lay side on and scrunched into the narrow opening. I climbed over her and pushed inside, waving my bloody knife.
The gals dropped back and stood there and Mike and Ripper followed me in. Ripper shot one girl and the other fled and I jumped at the third who was the biggest of the three and we tumbled to the ground, grasping and gouging at each other, locked in a catfight to the death.
My knife had gone flying out of my grasp as I hit her and we grappled together, our hands interlocked and I strained to force her backward, but she was stronger than me. Shoot the bitch, Ripper, I thought, but I guess he couldn't do that without probably shooting me too. I tried kneeing her in the tum but my knee wouldn't reach, and she sure got the idea because she managed to jam her knee into my ribs. I got one hand free and, making claws of my fingers, raked her face with my nails. This made her squeal out loud and I kept scratching and clawing, trying for her eyes, which were firmly shut. I leaned forward and bit her ear. She squawked again and her own fingers scratched my cheek and gouged at my left eye. By now we both had our eyes shut and were clawing and scratching and pummelling at each other. I found my hand on her breast, not sure which one, and getting her rather large nipple in my thumb and forefinger, squeezed it and twisted it unmercifully. This really made her yell and I noticed she was blubbering. I head butted her in the tum and gave her another raking with my nails. She was sobbing and puffing and I risked a peek to see what was happening. She must have been foxing a bit because she bopped me with her fist right in the eye. Another shiner coming up I thought and returned the compliment by head butting her again, in the shoulder this time and giving her nipple another really vicious twist. She was howling away, tears running down her cheeks and I clawed and scratched away as fast as I could go.
I was winning I reckon.
Suddenly hands grabbed me from behind and Ripper pulled me off her and yanked me to my feet. That poor girl was sobbing and crying and making a racket fit to wake the dead.
"Here, use this." said Ripper and handed me my knife.
"I can't just kill her." I said looking at the knife and then at Ripper. The gal had lost interest in fighting and was just howling and weeping.
"You do it." I said to Ripper.
"Oh for Pete's sake." Mike grabbed the knife and gave the girl a breast implant of sharp steel. She arched and bucked and then spasmed all over and her heels thrummed on the floor and she arched again and then went real real limp and was dead.
All dead and bloody.
Blood dribbled out of her mouth and trickled out of the crease where her breast folded onto her chest and where the knife had gone in. Her eyes had half shut when she died and she looked ghastly, dead staring eyes and open gaping mouth and just all dead. She'd been so alive and now she was dead.
"Come on." I said.
We ran down a passage and into the armoury. There were bags there that probably held the gold and there were guns and powder kegs and all that stuff. There was also more guards. That girl who'd got away must have alerted others and as we ran in they started firing. Bullets pinged all round and we ducked and dived for cover. Mike went dashing forward, fitting an arrow to his bow and Ripper dived sideways pulling out a gun. I grabbed my gun, the one stuck in the waistband of my panties, and hauled it out and running sideways let off a shot.
It was me did it.
With that shot.
I must have hit a powder keg or something. Suddenly there was this bright flash and then this huge BOOM! and the room, in fact the whole world disintegrated, blew up. I had my back to a wall with a window in it when it went, and I just went flying backwards and crasho I smashed through glass which went in all directions and the sill caught me under the knees and I tumbled over backward and out of that room. I must have done a somersault and ended up face down looking back the way I'd come. The whole wall bowed and bent and silence and then CRASH and flames came from everywhere. I stood up. I was outside in a yard and thump I was hit by this blow of wind and stuff and went headfirst over a horse trough and bowled along the ground. I got up a second time. I had multiple cuts and bruises and my clothes were shredded and I knew I had to run for it. The room was wrecked and aflame and the flames were spreading. I don't know what happened to Mike and Ripper. They were probably dead. Maybe they'd escaped but shit how could anyone have escaped from that.
Well, I had.
The yard was enclosed but I clambered over the wall and ran and ran. The building kept blowing up and stuff and people were appearing but I made it back to where we'd hidden out and stopping just long enough to stem the flow of blood from my worst cuts and put on clothes that didn't look like they'd been shredded and collect my bag of funds, I grabbed a horse and went.
What a fuck up!
And all my fault.
I wanted to see Lisa really bad now and headed off for where I believed she and Rick had settled down.
I only got about a hundred metres and I had to stop, turn around and skedaddle. The place was jumping with people and there was no way I was going to get out looking like I did. I rode back to our hidey hole and hid the horse and went back inside. As I opened the door, heading for anonymity, I heard a voice calling.
I looked back. A large, very drunken Russian lady from one of the sealers in the bay was smiling at me with that beatific look on her face that only the truly pissed can achieve. I saw light at the end of the tunnel.
"Darlinks, I'm comink." She tottered over towards me.
She fell against me, reeking of vodka, a bottle of which dangled from her hand.
"Yoo byootiful darlinks." She said and kissed me sloppily.
I opened the door and dragged her inside.
"I am Olga. Vats yoor name sugar pie?"
"I'm Barbanne Olga honey."
"Barbanne I luv zat." She was all over me pressing her monstrous Russian tits onto my chest.
"Sit down Olga sweetie." I shoved a chair under her and pushed a glass in front of her and taking the vodka bottle from her, slopped some into the glass along with a couple of fingers of laudanum.
"Bottoms up, Olga luv."
"Ya." She tossed it down. Smiled. Belched. Wiped her lips and then her eyes crossed and she crashed head first onto the table, out like a light.
"OK Olga come with momma." I said.
I got my arms under Olga's armpits and lifted her out of the chair. Her head rolled around on its own and her arms flopped down. I dragged her to the bed, her heels scraping the floor. I propped her limp form against the bed while I regained my breath and then struggle, strain, flopped her up and onto the bed.
I stripped off her clothes until she lay large, naked and totally unconscious on the bed. I tied her hands to the bed frame at one end and her feet to the other and there she was spread out like a figure X with tits and a pussy. I found the drunkenly KO'd Olga a bit of a turn on and played awhile with her titties and stuff. It was so good I had to get naked myself and buck around a bit until I exhausted my passion in a wet rush.
Olga was out for twenty four hours I reckoned. I took her papers and her outer clothes, her undies, besides being about ten sizes too big were plain gross. Dressed in clothes two sizes too big for me I became Olga Tatayana. In this disguise I set out once more and cleared the mobs and shook off the city. Farewell San Francisco.
I travelled south to the farming district where Lisa and Rick had gone and finally came on the farm gate which bore their names. It was dusk of an evening three days after I had conked Olga. I made my way up the dirt road to the house. Lights were burning inside and a buggy with a lovely black horse was parked outside. As I stepped on to the porch a piercing scream rent the air. I banged on the door and Rick opened it, wild eyed and dishevelled. "Oh Barbanne. Thank God your here. Lisa's having her baby. Come in. Come in."
I let him drag me in. No time to tell him so what, I don't know zilch about babies. Another big guy was there. Lisa was on the bed, sweating and screaming.
"This is our neighbour Alex."
The big guy smiled at me and my heart melted. What a lovely, soft, sensitive (big and virile) man.
"This is Barbanne Alex. She's a woman she'll know what to do."
I opened my mouth to say no way, but as I looked at Lisa who was smiling and grimacing at me at the same time, something female kicked in and I knew I must help. I sent the guys for water, cloths, towels, preferably hot water. Everyone knows thats what you do with men when a baby is coming. Then I got my friend into position on the bed and had a look. Good thing my specs had survived the explosion. There was a bit of blood stained mucus and she looked to be pretty well dilated. I wasn't sure what fully dilated would look like but I reckoned this must be close. Lisa told me contractions had been going on for hours so bub must be getting ready to come. Well I sat and talked a bit and then there was more activity and her waters broke and a rush of amniotic fluid arrived. I knew this meant we were on the home stretch and anyhow the whole thing seemed somehow normal for me. I wasn't afraid. Nothing much happened and Lisa even said the pain had gone. That didn't last long and she started yelling out as the pains returned and she felt the baby bearing down. The baby bore down, Lisa pushed and panted and I got buggered for everyone. Finally, after what seemed an eternity but probably wasn't that long, a little head appeared and then the shoulders and trunk followed and out popped a lovely little boy in a rush of bloody fluid. I tied and cut the umbilical cord, I really was amazing myself as to how naturally all this came to me, and after a bit the contractions started again and she expelled the placenta and sac. I had cleaned the little bloke up a bit and cleaned up some more where the whole rather messy process had occurred and chucked soiled towels and cloths down for removal. I loved the way Alex helped here, moving quietly around, almost anticipating what I wanted.
Lisa was the proud mum with little boy baby in her arms. Rick looked like he'd bust so pleased was he and I was a graduate mid wife, well I hadn't killed anyone.
Rick and Lisa wanted to be alone and so I went into the kitchen with Alex. He was a really nice bloke and stood a good head plus taller than me so was in my most favoured guys class. I caught him looking at me.
"Those are nasty looking cuts Barbanne."
"Fell through a window."
"That wouldn't be nice."
"Heard there was some trouble up San Francisco way."
"Yeah well............mine was an accident."
"OK. Want me to look at them?"
"I think they're pretty much healed."
"Some don't look too good, let me look at them."
Well there are some on my back."
He turned me around and I unbuttoned my shirt and he lifted it and he clucked a bit.
"There's still glass in some of these and they're festering some."
He cleaned them up and put on ointment and bandaged them over. Then he looked at my front and I blushed bright crimson, me for pity's sake can you imagine it. He fiddled a bit and cleaned cuts on my tummy and breasts. He ointmented and bandaged them. I felt a whole lot better and let him look at my lacerated legs but they were OK.
I sat back and looked at him. He sure was cute.
"You a farmer?"
"Yep. Came down here a year back from up in Canada and I think I'll stay."
"Rick and Lisa are nice folks."
"They are that. They've talked about you."
"Yeah. All bad I bet."
"No. In fact I'd say they were very fond of you."
"Lisa's a sweetie and I love Rick."
"So. What are you doing?"
"Dunno. Just got the urge to visit some."
"Staying a while?"
"If they'll have me."
I made coffee for the guys and settled the baby.
The next morning Lisa was feeding him and I made breakfast all round. Alex had stayed the night. He wanted to get off early and stood watching me in the kitchen. I was embarassed and nervous. Me! With my past history. But there was something about Alex. It was like love at first sight. You know they talk about that but I hadn't thought anything of it. I don't know what he thought but I was like a school girl. All thumbs and blushes and really uncomfortable with him watching me, but warm and gooey inside.
I was in love.
I had met a man, the first since Dave, whom I wanted to spend every moment of every day with. I was a goner.
I stayed with Rick and Lisa. It was magic watching my friend with her son. I ached to be a mother myself but knew that circumstances and a bad life mitigated against that. Anyway, I didn't even have a man. I reckoned I'd better work on that.
I visited with Lisa and Rick when they went to Alex's place and spent my time mooning about, more like a kid on a first date than the rotten slag heap that I was. I followed him around and didn't know what to say and then talked in a rush and blushed. Hell, I didn't even know I could blush, let alone every five minutes.
It was bad.
But it was good too.
When we got home Lisa said "You're in a bad way."
"Yes. You girl. When are you going to tell him you're stuck on him?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"Hah. Any more obvious and even he'd know."
"I love him Lisa."
"I know. You're like a love sick teenager."
"But, I'm no good for him. You know me, I'm scum."
"Now you stop that. Besides its not as if there's girls behind every tree out here."
"Shit Lisa, I'm scared."
"I'm glad to hear it."
She turned and called out. "Rick, take Barbanne over to Alex's place tomorrow morning, she's going to help him for a day." She smiled at me. "Or two."
"Don't you come back until you've told him."
I grabbed her and hugged her. "Thanks mate."
The next morning I was deposited at Alex's farm first thing.
"Come to help." I said.
"That's right neighbourly but I didn't know I needed it."
I blushed like a tomato. Pushed my glasses up on my nose, hitched up my skirt and started in cleaning and scrubbing and washing everything I could find and drying and EVEN ironing his clothes.
"You need me?"
He went out and did whatever farmers do. At lunch time he came in and I had his lunch set out on a neatly arranged table cloth with plates and cutlery and all. We ate in semi silence. I was sipping water and he said "You don't eat much."
"Nope." Geez I was good at conversation.
He went back to the fields and I cleaned some more and then cooked his dinner.
He came in late and washed up and we ate in monosyllables again.
"I'll run you home to Rick's"
"Unless its too late."
"I could stay the night...........................if you want. Save you going out late."
"Only if you want."
"If its OK with you."
We sat by the lamp. I read a book I'd found. He looked at the wall. I looked up, pushed up my specs and said "Alex?"
"Call me Barb. Can I come over there?"
I came over and stood looking down.
"Barb you.......................... "
"Oh Alex. Do you like me?"
"I do Barb. I like you a lot."
"Ummmnnnn, can I sit down?"
"I'll get a chair."
"No. This'll do." I sat on his lap.
There I'd done it.
"Well." He said.
I put my arms around him. He was so big and I was so small. I looked at him and he took my specs off and by mutual consent we just knew we had to kiss each other.
We did. It went on for a long time.
"Take me to your bed."
We undressed and made love together. It was sex, but it wasn't just sex. It was love. It was slow and he was gentle and he waited while I started to burn and it was the best in for ever. I came to climax slower than usual but when I got there it was so powerful I screamed out and dug my finger nails into him and Oh boy, was I embarrassed. "I'm sorry." I said.
He didn't say anything just started in again bringing me along until I burned again and he waited for me and this time I achieved melt down. I loved him so much. I wanted to do everything for him. I wanted to be his slave and worship him and crawl around on hands and knees for him. I wanted to die for him.
He didn't want that.
He just wanted me.
I didn't go back to Ricks. He brought the rest of my stuff over and I moved in with Alex. I loved him. Loved him to distraction.
But I had to do one last thing.
Then we would be together forever.