Posted by Archer on July 16, 2002 at 19:17:27:
A Really Bad Day
by Archer
The situation was bad -- real bad. I was out having a good time, just minding my own business, having a few drinks and watching the strippers when the vice squad shows up. Except this didn't look like the vice squad. Some sweaty topless women armed with spears just started clearing the place out. Okay, maybe I should have just moved along like all the other guys, but I'd had a few too many and my tongue was loose and... Well I remember some burly broad with a club coming over to me...
Well I don't remember anything else, but my head hurts like hell -- it's partly the damn hangover and partly the damn bump -- I can pretty much figure what happened when the lights went out. I'm in a cell and the damn guard -- another one of those topless fighting women types -- well the guard is banging on the bars of the cells with her club. Most of the other prisoners are strippers -- I must be the only man...
"The troublemaker," the guard laughs as she looks at me. At this point, I look at myself as well and realize they've taken my clothes. "Oh don't worry," the guard laughs, "after the sacrifice you won't have any need for clothes."
"What time is it?" I ask. My head still hurts like hell.
"Six A.M. -- wake-up call," she explains. "Of course, that's for these captives. They're being trained as gladiators..."
"So why the hell are you waking me up," I say as I reach out the bars and wrap my right arm around her neck, turning her away from me as I pull her close to the bars. She drops the club.
She mumbles something in response. Then she starts to scream. That must be causing a bit of an adrenaline rush in me, because I squeeze harder, cutting off her scream. She suddenly starts to reach for the knife she keeps in a pouch on her left. I squeeze one of her teats hard and her hands come up in defense. I grab the knife with my left hand and skewer her with it.
If my head didn't hurt so much, I would probably admire the way she struggles and fights for her life. But my head hurts like hell. As I loosen my grip with my right, I slice her neck with my left.
She falls in a heap in front of my cell. I feel around and find the keys. I find some other stuff, but if my head didn't hurt so bad, I might linger. I open the cell, but just as I'm about to make my way to freedom, five topless women with spears surround me... And another one... the same one who must have bopped me in the club last night. I quickly get back in my cell, lock it and toss the keys to the guards. The burly bitch grins. My head hurts just to think about it...
***
I must have passed out. I'm not in my cell, but I'm still in this hell-hole. Three half naked guards including you-know-who and the first fully clothed woman I've seen since entering the strip club.
The fully clothed woman dismisses the guards. They start to argue, but it's clear who's boss. I stick my tongue out at the guard from hell. She starts to make a move at me and I start to get up. Maybe I shouldn't have... The clothed woman shouts at the demoness bitch from the darkest pits of hell. She backs off and leaves.
"You're fairly feisty," my hostess laughs. She tosses a towel to me -- I realize I'm still stark naked...
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it. You know you're causing me no end of problems."
"Okay," I say, "so I should have kept my mouth shut at the damn club..."
"Well, I guess it was bound to happen. You were to be sacrificed at seven this morning, but then you sacrificed the guard -- we're only allowed one sacrifice per day you know. And worse yet, you didn't follow procedures..."
"Well how was I supposed to know you were going to sacrifice me at such an ungodly hour?"
She winced. "Ungodly?" She quickly stripped and kissed my feet. "I didn't know. I mean all those instruction books are written in Latin and..."
"I had Latin in High School," I said, trying to be helpful. If my head didn't hurt so much and it were later in the day, I probably would forget about being helpful and trying to escape...
***
Well, it now seven at night and I've had a couple of aspirin so my head doesn't hurt. My stomach is a little queasy -- whether that's the aspirin or the pot roast, I don't know. I do know that I shouldn't have mentioned the High School Latin and I shouldn't have made the comment about the ungodliness of the hour because I just got appointed High Priest. Oh well, the former High Priestess does become my naked slave, and she is a looker...
But High Priest? And worse yet, we have to sacrifice one of the strippers tomorrow at dawn. Her Latin may be bad, but that passage is pretty clear.
***
It's been one hell of a day. If it hadn't been so bad, I might curl up with my new slave, but instead I start reading some of these Latin instruction books.
Bad move. This one's the recipe for the pot roast. Seems you start by marinating the morning sacrifice... A bad end to a really bad day.